The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Online Dating Profile Photos And Honesty

Is there any such thing as online dating profiles and honesty? I wonder. This is the primary photo for a local woman who claims to be 47. So she serves up her primary photo:

This is an attractive woman. Yet, the photo looks older. A printed version of City Link? (background). No comment.

Hmmmm…. Here is another profile photo that somewhat matches the first online dating profile photo:

Note the changes to the face. This photo is obviously not 12 years old.

Oh, the joys of online dating.


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33 thoughts on “Online Dating Profile Photos And Honesty

  1. Kurt Green on said:

    Wow, the printed City Link a really great catch, I’ve known some hardcore internet detectives to find out the date of articles like that in pictures, but it’s kind of tough and a bit of work.

    There’s definitely a similar thing that happens in a younger demographic. Indicators could be things like graduation photos (Are they High School or College? When exactly did she get her degree? Some kids start later, other’s are on a 6-year plan but I graduated when I was 22, I’m 26 now and I looked young as hell in those pictures), or a bar/club photo similar to the above.

    Funny sidebar about bar/club photos: We’ve all seen the the closely cropped picture of a chick at the club that obviously included a dude.. a few weeks ago I saw a picture on a profile which included a disembodied male hand clearly grabbing her ass. I wish I could find it now, It was hilarious and I can’t believe she didn’t notice it. There’s obviously some wild psychology happening there that could use investigation from a human courtship ritual perspective. But I digress.

    I’m not sure how it is in the 40-50 demographic, but I feel like 18-30 year old girls can really blow up quickly – “the freshmen 30” for example – abet being able to lose the weight quickly as well, if they’re will to do the work. The thing is they’re definitely willing to choose old and inaccurate photos over current and honest ones. Although I’m sure guys try to pull this shit as well.

    Don’t even get me started on the Myspace angle. That bullshit is huge with the 18-30 crowd.

  2. Someone should tell her it’s not a good idea to have two young, attractive women smiling into the camera dead center in the photo while some old hag stands off to the side.

    Don’t we have a term for the ‘ugly friend effect’ around here somewhere?

    They say women hit the wall around 28-30, but I swear there is a sort of ‘mini wall’ around 21-23. I see girls I knew in High School now and there’s definitely a sharp drop with a good amount of them. Not necessarily due to fat gain, either. Just a loss of youthful femininity.

    Perhaps they notice and up their game mid-twenties until they hit the Great Wall.

    Someone blog about dis.

    • As Leap points out, this has almost become a “party norm” in it’s own right as the sistahs insist on keeping up with the guys and boozing them under the table – You Go Grrlz!

      Unfortunately, Nature is a bitch and doesn’t like other women, so she ages young, white female skin at a rate of knots in the presence of booze, sun and ciggies. Way back in the day, I observed that even over the course of college, some of the hottest freshers could age nearly a decade by graduation. The guys essentially looked the same, but less callow; it often improved their looks. Needless to say, the grrlz hated them even more for not paying the price and having no interest in them any longer.

      Outcomes are so unfair; we must legislate to make guys look older, faster.

  3. Vicomte, I just had a blog post about a girl who hit the wall at age 22 and looked age 30. After hearing various reasons why I might not want to post the picture (female readers saying being nice, Wudang about being curteous, Deti for my own anonymity, and others about it detracting from my message), I took the photo down. But everyone agreed this 22 year old looked 30 plus due to her following the college script of drink, smoke cigs, smoke weed, and sleep with 40+ dudes.

    She was an extreme on all those, but man…. She looked ATLEAST 30, and I know some 38 year olds that I find more attractive than her now, with me being 27 myself.

    • Leap:

      I felt bad for that girl. I didn’t peg her for 22 at all. If there was ever a pic that showed what hard living, hard drinking, hard partying and carouseling will do to a woman, it was that one.

      • Yup. Hopefully she graduates on time this year and settles down right quick. If she starts eating right, exercising, and gets a more balanced lifestyle, she could avoid a second wall and might even regain some of her looks.

        Somehow, I doubt that will happen. She’ll probably end up being one of those bitter old women that looks 20 years older and you avoid making eye contact with because she’ll either tear into you or tear into someone else at you.

      • Yup. Hopefully she graduates on time this year and settles down right quick. If she starts eating right, exercising, and gets a more balanced lifestyle, she could avoid a second wall and might even regain some of her looks.

        Somehow, I doubt that will happen. She’ll probably end up being one of those bitter old women that looks 20 years older and you avoid making eye contact with because she’ll either tear into you or tear into someone else at you.

    • I saw that! I thought she was in her 30’s easy.

      I could talk about some of the transformations I’ve seen in college. What I notice kills a lot of girls:
      –excessive weight loss or weight gain (though usually the latter)
      –shitty dye jobs that strip hair of its shine and vitality
      –bad skin due to excessive tanning, makeup, or poor nutrition
      –Mom hair cuts

      • Yeah. I find that really it’s just any single of the ‘grrrrrrrrl power” script done to excess that can really take it’s toll as women’s bodies are transitioning from the young, nubile teen look to a still young, but more adult look of the 20’s.

        She just took everything to excess, and it hit her like a train to the face.

    • One word : Lindsay Lohan

  4. just visiting on said:

    Lol, I thought she looked younger in the second picture. Ah well.

  5. @Kurt

    I think I solved the wild psychology happening with these online dating chicks putting up photos of themselves being groped. It is female projection of what they find attractive in men. That is, women like men that are preselected by other women. Dating a supermodel is a great way to pick up chicks.

    • I have noticed that. There’s a plethora of girl in pics being debaucherous or surrounded by guys with their arms around her. Or the infamous ‘ex-cutout’ photo where her former boyfriends arm is still around her shoulder in the cropped out photo.

      This does not flip my switch to ‘date mode’ at all. More like ‘will i get an STD, must double bag’ mode.

  6. Lol.

    You ain’t seen bad yet. Check out these 2 whoppers/


    Thanks to the advent of ‘myspace’ top down pics and the proliferation of Instagram, the instant one button push plastic surgeon… you too can make men check out your profile with false advertising.

    “I came for the BBQ, and i left BECAUSE of the food.”

    • What is the deal with the head tilt I see in so many women’s photo’s?

      • At least its not duck face.

      • Cail Corishev on said:

        If you hold the camera up and to the side and tilt your head just so, you can hide the fat under your chin that’s a dead giveaway in a normal face-on picture. There’s a sweet spot: tilt and lift enough to stretch your double chin, but not enough to let the camera see what’s still hanging there. It’s really astounding how every heavy girl seems to be able to nail it. I can’t take a picture in which I don’t look at least 20 pounds heavier than I do in the mirror. But I once met a woman I’d been chatting with online, and I swear she was at least 100 pounds heavier than I expected. I barely recognized her. She’d even told me she was “curvy,” but it didn’t show in her pictures at all.

        Here’s a brutal one I ran across on OkCupid the other day. The first picture’s not bad — stupid tatt, but she’s looking straight into the camera, and not cheating on the angle. Looks like she might have some extra flesh under her chin, but not huge amounts. Based on that pic, I’d expect she’s a little thick, maybe 20-30 pounds high. Then you get to the second picture, and holy crap. Then it’s back and forth between head shots of a face that doesn’t look particularly fat and shots of arms and legs twice as big as mine. Her face even looks bigger in the latter pictures. Maybe the better ones are from earlier in her life before she ballooned up, but then why show those? To say, “Hey, I look like this, but I have the potential to look like that”?

  7. Slightly off-topic. I posted a similar question on another Manosphere blog, but wanted to bring this recent NYTimes article to your attention:

    Would you like to discuss this in a future post? A 39-year-old man living in NYC, completely normal-looking and with a good job, has such trouble finding women that he has to resort to standing in the middle of the street holding up a sign saying “Please Date Me.”

    Obviously, he doesn’t have any “game” and has low self-esteem, but still, why should a normal and stable man approaching 40 have such extreme difficulty finding partners? According to this blog, men should have no trouble dating after 35.

    His desperation, while extreme, does represent something that’s been happening in this country lately, according to personal observation. I have plenty of friends who are single bachelors with no hope of the situation changing, even though they seemingly have a lot going for them. They wouldn’t go to this extreme, of course, but they are in the same boat. Any thoughts?

    • Behind the scenes, the Manosphere is all over this.

      We’ve got an air-drop of Red Pill wisdom being organized. We know how to find him. We know what the mission is.

      If he accepts, he will be transformed.

  8. I’ve even seen a photo posted that was a photo of a computer screen showing a photo – now that’s F’ing weird.

    On the other hand, photos are tough. Wrong angle or light and you look like shit. Guess that’s why really good photographers get the jobs. I have seen some pictures of actresses that we would all agree are pretty hot, but in certain photos look pretty plain, or I guess “down to earth” is a nice way to say it.

    Not me though. I slay in all lighting, clothes, angles and weather conditions. ROFL.

    My photo pet peeves:

    1. If they post photos of their kids – creepy. I don’t want to see kid photos on an Internet dating site. Weird. Even more bizzare are pictures with infants. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Is that supposed to be hot or scream “Date Me!” No. You’re weird.

    2. No full body pic or only a myspace angle – she’s fatter than hell IRL. Always check the upper arms gents. They should not be as big around as your neck or thigh.

    3. Boyfriend cropped out of photo pic stinks of no class. Hint: You’re just as disposable and easily cropped out.

    4. If all the photos are of her in a frenzy of grrrllll power at a bar or whatever, bleh. Got anything else going on in your life?

    5. I don’t want to see more than one photo of your cat or dog. I don’t even really want to see one unless you’re in it. If the pet is dressed up in outfits, that’s even nuttier.

    • Eh, at least if they have a kid in the photo not only do I know that its a single mom, but I know where they stand on how important their kid is to them.

      The rest of it you’re dead on.

    • Agree to your entire list and ill add two of my own.

      6. They have 10+ photos, each one in a different country or locale. These reek of jet setter, l love to travel/i make love to my passport types. Unless you’re a Saudi oil magnate, you don’t make enough to take a vacation every month to go travel to another remote area of the planet do ‘discover the world’. These girls crave new and exciting sh*t all the time. They’re prime bets for being the first to become ‘unhaaaaaapy’ in life and leave you for another exciting adventure.

      7. The jumping pic. Put a fork in it ladies.. it’s done.

      • Hamster Tamer on said:

        7b. I would add that the proverbial “jumping for faux/forced joy”, aka “Looky-looky, I was a cheerleader back when” *can* be a plus, but only in the RARE instance when *2* important criteria are evident:

        1) There’s profound, in-your-face camel toe, made all the more prominent by the act of jumping, i.e. “hike-up” effect.

        b) Her cleavage hits her in the chin at apogee.

        No, I’m not shallow, just action-oriented. ;^)

      • +1 on your number 6. The Jetsetter.

        I see those profiles and I’m like “Wow what does this chick do for a living that she can afford all this?”

        Then I look and see she lists occupation as something mundane and income 30k-40k. Oh.

        I guess occupation is mooching from parents or having boyfriends with a lot of frequent flier miles?

        Understanding of course that if you are single with no kids, yeah, you can take a fair amount of trips by being really frugal elsewhere in your life.

        Still I kind of recoil from such profiles because it’s almost like a perpetual teenager/stimulation junkie vibe I get from them. I can’t imagine this type of chick ever settling into a 9-5 routine of responsibly taking care of children and a family or dealing with things like “Well, junior needs braces so we’ll be going to Wildwood this year instead of London.”

        If you want someone more down to Earth and ostensibly less “work” (at least as a starting point) look for the ones that say on a typical Friday she’s having dinner with friends, reading a book or watching a movie. Being with you will be the most exciting thing she’s done all week. Not a bad frame to have with her.

        Probably dodge the ones who say “Out with my grrlls!!!!” “Woooot!!!!”. Unless you can consistently top the stimulation she gets from partying with her grrllss, getting groped by random drunk dudes and being an empowered modern woman, it’s a losing proposition.

        Then again, I’m not looking to get married so what do I care? I guess that general type turns me off, the hyper, crazy coked up looking type. It would remind me of having a spastic little Terrier around that couldn’t stop bouncing off the walls, jumping on the couch and dry humping your leg.

        But I’m getting older and crankier so I look for women that seem to project calm. Not quiet or shy, just calm. I have enough chaos and random with business, kids and ex-wife so a calm port of call is good.

        Caveat: there was a post and discussion over at Roussy’s a while back where it was posited that chicks load their schedules with as much inane stuff as possible when they are without a man. When they have a man they dig, all the zip lining, rock climbing and kayaking tends to fall by the wayside.


  9. Hamster Tamer on said:

    Back on topic, and TPM’s 2 photos… dude, I think you could easily find a more egregious example, MANY in fact. My read is she’s a not-fat Jewish gal with nice hair, eyes, and smile, great chin, and… OK, and a honkin’ big schnozz which means she’ll never be a magazine cover girl… but hey, I’m no GQ model either, and I doubt anyone on this blog roll is a finalist for the next Old Spice man-on-horseback or Axe Body Spray ads. I grade wimminz mostly on what they have control over. She’s been happy without the rhinoplasty, more power to her. (Also, she has very little sun damage for a So-Fla wimminz.)

    As far as the above brunette CHOOSING to feature pics of her being “mug-hugged” by guys (in obvious bar/lounge settings), well… I guess that’s what puts the big smile on her face–MEN, and/or ATTENTION from men. Kind of like a billboard: “here are my buttons, please push them… oh, and don’t forget to add alcohol”, LOL. Again, great for “sport”, nightmare for marriage. Oy vey. You should text her for bikini shots… holding today’s Miami Herald, lol.

    PS: The City Link issue on the wall is FRAMED, e.g. maybe the lounge owner’s kids are featured, etc… a MEMENTO that might well be 10+ yrs old. In fact it does look like a reprint, on paper stock much better and whiter than newsprint.

  10. Random Angeleno on said:

    I too have seen my share of pics taken years and pounds ago. It’s a turnoff. In the past, I never went out with her again but I think I might change that to pump n dump if she is not too ugly. Then if she presses for LTR, I’ll bring up the pictures and ask if there’s anything she’s not telling me. That conversation will be the end.

    • Hey,

      We’ve all banged a thick one before, and odds are we will again at some point. We don’t set out to but, it just happens. Hehe.

      You ain’t gonna be the first guy and you ain’t gonna be the last. Just try not to make it a habit. The Lolz.

      Though given overall rising weight levels, the pickings may be getting slimmer. Oh the irony.

      I was told as a young man by some older guys “in the know” about such things: “Ain’t no shame in getting a blowjob from a fat chick.” ROFL

      • Hamster Tamer on said:

        Though given overall rising weight levels, the pickings may be getting slimmer. Oh the irony.

        “bah-DUM-TSSss!” (*rimshot*) It’s literally SICK how obesity is corrupting the SMP! Crikey, like cold approaches aren’t harsh enough without trying to diplomatically carve off the ONE HWP* lass from her 3-5 pudge-opotamus grrrrlzzz. Grim biz…

  11. I always wonder what people think is going to happen when they actually meet in person.

  12. My dad keeps trying to convince me to do online dating, bless him. He did eventually meet his latest wife this way (Russian, from a central Asian country, love her), but now she’s “too American” and they fight all the time, heh. I’m pretty sure he’s a bit “spoiled”. He’s financially secure, charming, good-looking, never had to worry about a paunch until well into his 50s. I love my dad, but when I used to come visit every weekend, he would literally have a different woman every time. I mean every time. This was after his first divorce, and he just sort of went hog wild. He did really love his first wife, and she was a raging feminist, very pretty though. I’m pretty sure it snapped something in him, and I’m sure it’s probably messed with my head a bit, too, but in the end, my dad’s compulsive womanizing and my mom’s hatred of all men actually just made me take a step back. The fate of both of my parents makes me sad. Anyway, online dating was overwhelming. Lots of men and women use pictures that simply don’t represent what they look like, and/or are just incredibly socially awkward (and that is really saying something, coming from an overly quiet introvert), bad hygiene, you name it. Basically, it has none of the built in “filters” of meeting people through work/friends etc… I wouldn’t say I’d *never* try it again, but eh…

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