The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Pre-Selection While Absent

Your friends can help you with women even when you aren’t around. If a friend or group of friends and is out and about and meets up with girls and there’s an extra for you, it’s their obligation to somehow get you involved whether you’re present or not. The first priority would be to contact you and invite you to an arranged location, preferably not where they first met up with the girls and not in a loud nightclub. This is a venue change opportunity.

The girls in question must know that you are being contacted to be invited into the group. This is not a simple matter of stating “I’m calling Bob to see what he wants to hang out with us.” This is a huge opportunity to pre-sell Bob. Frankly, it’s your friends’ sworn duty to pre-sell you. Especially if they are single. Yes, this also applies to friends who are out with wives and committed girlfriends, provided you get along with wives and committed girlfriends. The sales pitch could be something along these lines:

“Oh we have to meet up with Bob later, he’s a great guy.”

“Bob needs to hang out with us, he’s really cool.”

“If we don’t get to party with Bob, I’ll be really disappointed.”

You get the idea. The girls will get a very positive vibe about you and should be anticipating your arrival. This is pre-selection while absent. Should you do arrive later, it’s important that you make a strong entrance, if possible. Don’t shuffle in quietly. Yell out to them as you walk in. Slap backs with smiles all around. This is your crew, dammit, and you’re really pleased to see them. Your friends should then commence with the introductions to the girls and your Charisma should kick in. But your frame should be that out came to see your friends, not the girls.

If logistics prevent you from meeting, then the girls know of your existence, they know you’re a cool guy, and you might run into them. Hopefully, they will still remember the pre-sell pitch and you can use that to your advantage.

In order for all this to work, you must have charismatic and outgoing friends who are usually out and about. Housebound friends won’t work. Shy friends won’t work. Friends without social skills won’t work. This may require you shift your social circle or perhaps even make new friends.


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8 thoughts on “Pre-Selection While Absent

  1. I think I’m going to have to get new friends. Apparently all mine are assholes…

  2. I agree with the idea, but my experience has been that Americans are way too self-centered to do this. It’s a great pity, teamwork is the basis for the rise of the human race to where it is today.

  3. Reblogged this on aneroidocean and commented:
    Good coverage of pre-selection by your social circle by The Private Man. Seems a couple of the guys in the comments don’t think that this works or think that they need a new group of friends. I agree that with great friends/social circle you can have much of the work done for you. Case in point, the below texts I got from a good friend who is successful, in shape, and decently good looking, we’ll call him Fresh:

    Fresh: U still awake?
    AO: Barely, was passing out. Sup?
    Fresh: Haha, no worries, got a girl here from Philly that wants to make out with you.

    He had shown her pictures of me on Facebook after talking me up to the friend of the girl he was going after. Good man.

  4. I agree with lost sailor… My ‘friends’ are the worst cock blocks. If I go out for drinks with them, they will never try to help a brother out and even push some ugly bitches my way for laughs. It would be great to have a decent wingman watching my back but unfortunately with the guys I know, it is best to roll solo if I am looking for females

    • Well, shit…

      Maybe you need a new and separate Red Pill crew. And so might LostSailor.

      • I kinda like my friends. Which is why they’re my friends. But a lot of them are married, with kids, and the single guys, with a few exceptions, are definite Blue Pill men. I’ve been slowly trying to inject some Red Pill wisdom, but a lot of them simply aren’t ready. Though a couple of the married guys have begun to nibble at the Red Pill with some success. One started to turn his marriage around after I pointed him to Athol Kay’s site.

        I certainly see the value of having a good crew to have your back, but I don’t mind flying solo.

  5. Team Game can have devastating results, if the guys know what they’re doing and have several pre-arranged signals, codes, and plays in place before they venture forth. It helps if you decide ahead of time what your intentions for the evening are.

    I watched a crew at Duke University a few years ago who had this down to a science. They’d split up and scout the major bars for activity, then decide by phone where to congregate based on the mood and the selection. The first dude who arrived would start a kind of loner Game until the second and third guy arrived. Then they settled into a kind of “guys night out — don’t bug us!” vibe, drank a round, and did a bunch of inane, adolescent shit that was pure asshole attention-getting. Then dude #4 would show, and he was usually the Designated Asshole. His job was to make the other dudes look good. He’d make some crude remarks about the prettiest and the least-pretty girls, stirring up shit and making them uncomfortable.

    Then their designated AMOG would show, and calm shit down instantly. Serious DHVs, good discipline, and he calls the DA into order. Then he has a drink, quietly whispers with his crew for ten minutes, and then goes over and apologizes for his friends’ behavior. At that point he’d figure out how to pair out, who the AFOG was, who the Designated Bitch was, and then he’d return to the group while they all thanked him obsequiously for his intervention.

    After that, knocking their group apart with a couple of different plays was usually easy, or if he decided that there wasn’t enough talent to pursue, they’d agree to split up and start over. Separating and isolating could be done in the club or after a change in venue, and they could always retire to the whiskey bar and get fucked up if things didn’t pan out. They closed more often than not, and they used a deft amount of pre-preselection to parse out just which dude would be the best fit (or have the best chance) with which chick and prep them properly. Sometimes that would mean calling in the DA and then doing a rescue, or siccing the DA on the DB to get her away from the herd and open up their defenses.

    This is also the crew that taught me the trick of collecting ATM receipts from trashcans with really, really high balances showing, and using those to write their email addresses on for girls they met. They also taught me how to pretend to be a wine importer, and how to leverage a business card and a basic knowledge of wine terms into an exotic and exciting — and potentially lucrative, with lots and lots of travel — faux occupation to young female cube farmers, one of the most successful, if deceitful, narratives I’ve ever seen. You put “wine”, “Italy”, “France”, “Australia”, and “South America” in the same sentence with “my frigid bitch of an ex-girlfriend”, and it drops panties like snowflakes.

    Pre-selection is a valuable skill for a wing, but you both have to know what you’re doing. If you can’t count on your crew, often it’s better to go out alone. And if that means you have to re-boot or update your crew, well, think of it as a chance to broaden your Game . . . and introduce your Gamma and Delta pals to it. We’re all in this together.

    Speaking of which, as an OMG I’m particularly good at pre-Selection while absent. Being happily married and vocally in love with my wife gives me huge credibility when it comes to my opinions of just who is a “good guy”, and taking a fatherly, protective tone as I explain how Jack is just misunderstood — that Bad Boy exterior is just a cover for his deep, if aimless passions. Gosh, if he only had the right woman in his life, there’s no telling how successful he’d be, yadda yadda yadda, and before you know it they’re panties are damp and they’re begging for this poor lad’s email.

    Here’s a hint, dudes, a woman responds to an Alpha display regardless of where they see it. If you have a wing with really good Game, he (or she – – some of the best wings I know are girls) then he can prep her, get her excited by his personal Game, and then transfer that interest to you and hand her to you half-closed. That’s why guys get laid after rock concerts — it’s not that she’s into you, she’s been turned on all night by the crowd and the performer’s successful Alpha displays, and all you have to do is putt.

  6. someguy302004 on said:

    Wine importer, huh? I gotta try that. I am often a washed up minor league baseball player at bars.

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