The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 24, 2012”

Charisma Travels Light (Guest post from LostSailor)

LostSailor is a tremendously talented commenter on quite a few blogs. I asked if he wanted to post on my blog as a guest and he gracefully agreed. What follows below is his first post… his first of many, I hope.

Developing Charisma or “inner-Game” is increasingly essential for a man to achieve the success he wants while dating in the currently Darwinian sexual market place (SMP). The pickup artistry (PUA) parts of the Manosphere provide tips, tricks, scripts, and routines for beginners who are just becoming aware that they need more in their arsenal than average looks and showering once a day. The Game blogs elevate and broaden those concepts into an overall way of living consistent with continuing to suppress or eliminate beta tendencies and making alpha traits part of your life.

But Charisma, I think, is more than that. Properly understood, Charisma isn’t just about a way of living, but a way of thinking and being. If a man can develop his Game to the extent that he no longer has to consciously think about his interactions with women while still being successful, he has found true Charisma. Think of it as Zen-Game.

Now, the fact that we’re in the Manosphere and reading about all this makes it unlikely that we’re going to become bodhisattvas of Game, but one of the keys to Charisma starts with some self-examination. The Manosphere echoes with laments about women who are bitter and critical, the “head-cases” who come with too much baggage. And while it’s true, it’s also true that the ladies express the same lament about men. Men’s rights activists (MRAs) and beta men complain about the unfairness of the SMP, about the lopsided legal landscape of the divorce regime and family courts, about the societal pressure to “man-up” in a culture that denigrates the masculine, but they are sabotaging themselves in the SMP by perpetuating emotional responses to the facts of our feminized era. Charisma does not complain.

Most of us have had the “ah-ha!” moment when we first discovered the Red Pill. I believe my reaction was a common one, one that mirrors the Kubler-Ross stages of grieving. Denial, anger, depression (link below). And it very much is like grieving, grieving for believing the lies, the lost time, broken relationships, or years of involuntary celibacy.

The truth is, we all come with baggage, whether it’s duffel, a steamer trunk, or a packing crate. The Charismatic man has learned how to open the suitcase and unpack it. He has emptied out the Dopp-kit of anger, the garment-bag of bitterness, and the travel-case of frustration. He no longer needs them.

The beta is constantly hampered by dragging around a Hefty sack of unresolved issues. The Charismatic man travels light.

Kübler-Ross model

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