The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 10, 2012”

The Comments Make The Blog

I am continually stunned by the thoughtful and well-written comments that my blog garners. This is from AnonWriter:

Women have been brainwashed their entire lives about what they’re supposed to want, and they’ve fully bought into it all. Over and over again, women will tell men what they ‘want’, and it’s no surprise that men have come to believe what women are telling them. It’s in magazines, TV shows, movies, websites, everywhere. There does exist a handful of men in this world who realize, however, that what a woman says about what she wants and what a woman really wants are often two completely different things.

Now, what happens when such a woman receives everything that she thinks and says she wants? She feels strangely unhappy and unfulfilled, and this confuses. It’s confusing to others around her also. After all, she has everything she (or any other woman) could have ever ‘wanted’. However, when you recognize the effects of social programming on women, the unhappiness makes complete sense: she is out of touch with her own needs and, as a result, her man isn’t supplying what she really needs in their relationship. This is not the man’s fault, because she (and society) have constantly fed him bad information, day after day, year after year, about his responsibilities and what her needs are supposed to be.

So what does the man do in the face of his woman’s unhappiness? He tries even harder to please his woman. He keeps doing what didn’t work before, and he does it with even more vigor. And what does this have the effect of doing? It makes him even more undesirable, probably even repugnant to her. She doesn’t understand it, so she chalks it up to love being lost or some other rationalization. The man feels lost and frustrated – he feels like he’s done everything right, given her everything she’s ever wanted, and this is the result? The relationship ends, but all is not lost because this is his watershed moment – when he is finally capable of seeing some truth in the world.

I guess it all boils down to one thing: the human condition does not change just because a group of people want it to change.

Social expectations… oh, how we are all screwed up.

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