Honesty From An Unlikely Place
As I don’t own a television so I read a great number of blogs. Of course I read many of the Manosphere blogs. I also read blogs written by women and those that cater to women, even the “mass market” blogs. So I’m over at Jezebel (no link from me!) reading a column written by a particularly loathsome fellow who is a well-known for penning misandrist opinion pieces (again, no link from me!). This particular column wasted a lot of words castigating men, as the writer consistently does.
In the comments section I expected the same echo-chamber mentality with too many readers singing the praises of the misandric notions in the column. Rather, I found this incredibly honest statement:
I am a woman. I am an occasionally over-emotional, over-reacting woman. Throughout my teenage years I constantly destroyed healthy relationships by being mean, deceitful, self-absorbed and down-right manipulative, and the boys and friends I was involved with were left hurt.
One of the BEST THINGS about my husband is he tells me, flat out, when I’m being a bitch/crazy person and won’t tolerate it. He never does this self-deprecating thing, but I do not believe his ‘gaslighting’ is a manipulative tool. If he didn’t do it, I would spend a whole lot more time being angry or crazy, and that would be shit.
I know many women. A lot of them are actually fucking crazy, like me. A lot if them are (at times) jealous, needy, over-emotional, irrational, bitchy and immature. I know their partners and I hope to God those men have the spine to tell them so.
But I am not so hopeful, and here’s why:
I am a teacher, and I work in an all boy’s school. I am doing my masters in boy’s education. At my school, Mothers are not allowed to attend parent teacher nights, because teachers found when they did, Mothers talked over Fathers who were answering targeted questions:
“so Mr X, how often do you and Tom spend time together?”
” Well… We read the paper together on-”
“Ha! You haven’t done that in weeks, you just play that stupid Wii together”.
They would also frequently put down their husbands and sons in front of others and generally micro-manage everything. But everyone is too scared to tell the woman to SHUT UP because that would be totally misogynistic.
So the son grows up with a controlling, overbearing Mum, who is constantly cranky, unimpressed, over-emotional, yelling at him. Then he meets a girl who behaves like that, as she has a puffed up sense of entitlement thanks to some feminists decades ago. She reads Jezebel and truly believes that if he ever suggests she may be over reacting about anything, or is down on himself, then he is manipulating her, the bastard. This lovely young man ends up in a shit relationship with an empty wallet because HE’S the oppressor.
Ridiculous. Everyone just needs to treat each other with respect and honesty, WOMEN INCLUDED.
And p.s. I do more housework than my husband does, because although we both work full-time, he works on average 10hrs more than me a week and earns twice as much as me. He would help out more if I asked him to, but I can see that for this to be an EQUAL relationship, I should take care of the home instead of spouting ‘recent studies’ about how he’s a shit human because I don’t like cleaning our toilet.
It could be argued that this comment was written by someone familiar with the Manosphere. It might have been written by a sock puppet (link below). It hits almost too many of the common Manosphere themes such as the bossy and domineering woman, schools being bad for boys, female entitlement, etc. Regardless, the comment is excellent.
In a follow-up comment, the author of the quote above had this to say:
However, a boy will never be a man if he is just following orders from a woman (his mother and one day a wife), he needs to independently step up to the expectations of positive male role models.