The Private Man

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Archive for the day “June 24, 2012”

Ex-Wives Understand Hypergamy

In the course of a high-conflict divorce, the soon-to-be ex-wife has an iron clad grasp of hypergamy. She knows that by getting as much of her husband’s assets and income, she is reducing his level of attraction to women. A guy who is paying out the nose for alimony and child support is going to lose major points in the post-divorce sexual market place (SMP).

The ex-wives know this. As they were likely hypergamous in their marriage decision, they know that by limiting their ex-husbands access to resources they are limiting their ex-husbands dating options. It’s cold revenge, nothing more. Is it any wonder why the demand for alimony reform is coming from second wives? Those second wives discovered that their own incomes are also at risk by a vindictive first wives.

When kids are involved, the potential drop in the ex-husbands assets and income is too good an opportunity to pass up. Combine that with almost no custody enforcement and ex-wives have the ultimate form of revenge – the ex-husband has no money to attract a new woman and he can’t even see his own kids. He gets to enjoy his drab two bedroom apartment and empty bank account all by himself.

Please note that I am acknowledging amicable divorces where this scenario doesn’t play out. Not all divorces are like that (“NADALT”?). Such revenge tactics by ex-wives are far more visible than two former spouses who successfully manage to make the dissolution of marriage work. But the opportunity for ex-wife revenge is a structural weakness in the divorce process. “For the children” becomes a handy excuse for exceptionally bad ex-wife behavior. Woman-as-perpetual-victim plays into this quite conveniently, as well.

“He only cares about his money” is a common refrain when ex-wives discuss such issues. Of course he does, cupcake. You only cared about his money when you were about to embark on a voyage on the cruise ship Hypergamy 1. There have been some moves toward alimony reform, 2nd wives and all. There will likely be no moves toward child support reform because a few, vindictive ex-wives will always play the “for the children card” with the willing cooperation of White Knight politicians.

Getting married and having children is such a huge risk for men that it’s mind-boggling that men want to go this route. Of course, there is the option of taking the Red Pill and managing the marriage successfully. Sadly, too many potential husbands see the Red Pill as poison and too many women are enjoying the privilege of the blue pill, gyno-centric cultural landscape.

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