The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

For Guys Seeking Single Women 28-35 Years Old…

It’s not easy, I know this.

Most women this age are married or in committed relationships. It’s a demographic reality that there simply aren’t that many available single women in this age range. As for the available single women, they’re still single for a reason or they’re freshly divorced and likely with young kids. In large metropolitan areas, there will be better options but not nearly as many as the pre-married or post-divorce age demographic.

Given the dearth of 28-35 age demographic, having solid Charisma is even more vital. It’s also important that a man know his relationship goals. If it’s merely for the sexual variety of dating many women, then any attractive single woman of that age is appropriate, just beware the batshit crazy types and the women in the throes of baby rabies. This is where having a vasectomy can come in quite handy.

If a man is seeking a committed relationship, things get very difficult very quickly with this age group. There will be very few women of good character and who aren’t fat. It will be a tough row to hoe requiring patience and a hugely thick skin. Online dating is certainly a good approach, but it will take lots of time and lots dates to figure out just whom is worth it. It will also require a consistent system (link below).

There is an alternative – go younger, 22-28. It goes without saying that men prefer youth and beauty. It’s wired into our DNA. But some guys might be a bit reluctant to be looking to date a woman more than 10 years younger. This will generally require meeting women in real life because women doing the online dating thing generally avoid men more than five years older than themselves. Stay out of nightclubs because being the “old guy in the club” is tantamount to “creepy, stalkerish guy”. Also, the type of women (girls, really) who habit night clubs are not long term relationship candidates.

Here’s a big tip for a place to meet women: Find the lunchtime spots where the nascent career dames congregate to eat the noonday meal. The potential challenge is that women tend to congregate in groups when eating lunch. A group of youngish women presents a formidable wall. Bring a wingman, a married colleague is perfect. The advantage of lunch time is that casual conversations are easier to start. Also, the lines to get into restaurants, while often short, are perfect to start up conservations, “Have you guys eaten here before?”

Oh, buy Day Bang. Roosh knows his stuff. KrauserPUA is also outstanding at daytime approaches (links to both, below)

Local happy hours right after work are also perfect. Neighborhoods with large office buildings will usually have a number of bars/restaurants that cater to the office crowd. People are happy to be off work and single women don’t usually have to rush home. Also, a woman not obsessed with her career will be more likely to leave at the appointed hour and not be chained to her desk until late.

Going younger is perfectly natural and it’s surprising how many young women will be willing to date a man more than 10 years older. Of course, this mostly means approaching them in real life.

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Online Dating – A Short Primer

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38 thoughts on “For Guys Seeking Single Women 28-35 Years Old…

  1. Part-time graduate school at night is excellent for that age bracket I found. I did not even intend on actually finishing but the social life was such a different crowd, I found eventually found myself with a degree. Unlike undergrad, grad school’s small classes and group projects provide opportunites you just fall into.

  2. P Ray on said:

    College/university cafeterias are usually open to paying customers.
    As any other business they seek to maximise their returns, so money from any source is gratefully welcomed.
    The wide acceptance of money means that it grants everyone that has it, options.

  3. someguy302004 on said:

    At age 38, my target is usually 27-33 or so.
    I can occasionally handle slightly younger, but not too much. Any older than 33 is often a super mega hypergamous woman.

    I work in DC and there are too many otherwise reasonably attractive women who walk and act like men and have abrasive personalities.

    You are right–personality and charm is definitely an asset, but I don’t make too much effort with the manliest ones. feminity lights up my eyes.

    • P Ray on said:

      Beware of the woman who can be feminine to everyone.
      ‘Cause that either means she needs to call in a lot of favours,
      that you don’t merit any special treatment (“You are such a good friend!”)

    • Jay in DC on said:

      I want to second these sentiments as someone else on the Mean Streets of DC which is an uber-hostile dating climate. 35+ career woman here are basically men, for the most part. I avoid them at all costs and I’m also in my late 30s like the original poster. My “sweet spot” is the exact demographic he describes. The other good thing about DC is that it is a very international city and like Roosh did prior to his exodus to other lands I option foreigners to the exclusion of all others. My foreigner game is really tight now since I’ve been doing this for years now. Eastern Euro/ Russian are my favorite, Asians second, and South Americans third. Once you conduct real relationships with imports it is -really- hard to go back to some over masculinized corporate drone who is constantly trying to compare dick size with you about career.

      • someguy302004 on said:


        Now i miss the Russian girlfriend I had in Prague– she was a boatload of crazy fun…

        Send me an email at someguy302004 at yahoo if you’re ever up for a beer.

  4. Johnycomelately on said:

    Poor working women, check out chicks, child care workers, sales girls, lowly paid assistants or secretaries. In most of those jobs girls have very little male contact to slut around and are service (feminine) orientated. Conversely the poorest (welfare) girls are the biggest sluts.

    The higher up the pay scale a girl is, the greater the hyperagamy.

    Just make sure you have a family trust to protect the assets.

    • P Ray on said:

      Every man pays for “a bit of the old in-out, in-out”.
      Only the payment varies, and remember: it’s time and money you could have spent on yourself.
      Besides, I am pretty sure women enjoy sex too, so the idea that “he got something but she didn’t” is absurd.

  5. I would add that a good idea is going to popular gym classes right after work. I go to the gym after work but personally, I prefer solitary workouts. However, I ALWAYS see long lines for whatever is popular around 6pm/7pm (zumba, kickboxing, yoga, etc) and there are always guys chatting up the hot, young women in line.

    Having read the above article, that is the single most important thing privateman said? If you answered “vasectomy can come in quite handy” you are correct (rather awkwardly worded under the circumstances, but true nonetheless). Everything you read on the manosphere comes back to this.

  7. Richard Cranium on said:

    Being in your 40’s is a weird age for dating. You’re not old but you’re not young. I don’t have the resources or enough “game” to meet girls in their mid-20’s and I really don’t want the late 30’s ones with kids and ex’s baggage. Plus add in the factor that I don’t look or act my age and it’s an odd place to be.

    I just get pissed when guys my age and older are excoriated for going after younger girls like they’re some kind of pedophiles. As long as they’re legal adults there should be no problem.

    • ZLX1 on said:

      I hear you. Same age, same sitch in a lot of ways.

      Reporting in in here from a small metro/suburban area. The pool of potentials is even smaller so it’s slim frigging pickings in the 28-35 group if you don’t want a chick with kids or prior marriages. A bit frustrating. The online pickings are littered with 35+ never married weird chicks or hard charging career gals, 28-35 divorced mommies or single mommies. All fine for just a casual date and looking to bang with no serious intent. If you are looking for an LTR partner, it’s a rather disappointing group to choose from.

      I agree with Privateman that the only, or at least the best way to meet a younger age bracket woman (and I’m thinking really any woman worth meeting no matter the age) is in person. There have been chicks online that have shot me down that I know if I were to get the opportunity to approach them in real life would be all giggles and IOI to talk to me.

      Online, you’re just a catalog entry so if there is anything at all in your profile or stats that doesn’t meet their ideal vision, forget it. Matter of fact, and this is indicative of the level of ghey, I find that I usually have to go 2 points lower in their attractiveness level (as I perceive it) just to get a decent conversation and opportunity working.

      So the chicks I get traction with online are women that in real life I wouldn’t hardly notice or even approach. Maybe I’m dong online dating wrong, but it seems endemic to the system due to female ego inflation online. I’m actually pretty much done with online which is probably for the best given my area’s size and single woman pool.

      I think a good approach is activities or stuff like Hell I was even considering signing up for Yoga. Not a lot of guys are in it but there is some serious hot tail in the class. Proximity has a strong value so just being around a pack of dames on a regular basis ups your chances and tends to naturally break down any walls they have about you being a creepy guy or creepy older guy. Unless of course you’re a creepy guy. Lolz.

      • ZLX1 on said:

        Oh and I want to a add a comment to my comment. Lolz.

        You can forget Church at least in so much as organized groups if you’re over 35 and a dude. Every place I’ve been around here the social groups that get together to do activities on Saturdays and stuff are organized in messed up age brackets.

        For example, the young adult group is 21-30. If you’re older than that you get stuck in the “Single Adults” group which is 36 to 50ish. Notice there is a 5 year band that is missing.

        Older than that you get into the Seniors groups. So there is this weird age gap built in. If you’re a dude who is say 40 and you’re looking to be around women 28-35 for dating and LTR, the Church, it don’t like that.

        You can tell chicks run these social groups and built in the age ranges how they like. They preemptively made it so “creepy” 40 year old guys can have no organized contact with 20-something-35 year old single woman. They want you up in the “Single Adult” group where your pickings are used up single mommies, cougar-rific chicks and a lot of divorcees.

        You can still meet the younger ones at Church but you’re cold approaching in the Church lobby without the benefit of something like a group volleyball game or something to grease the social wheels a bit.

        I think the women who organize these social groups and decide the age ranges are probably some dried up hags who just hate, hate, hate that a 40 year old guy would not want to date a 45 year old woman and would prefer to chase after a 32 year old lady. If men organized these social groups I think it would be much different and much more of a free for all as far as organization like “Single Adults” 21-50 – go for it.

        Finally, at Church, if you are divorced, even if you had cause like your wife was a cheating lush, you’re dirty and untouchable to most of the women. Even a woman who is divorced who look askew at you. It’s not religion, and it’s not God doing that, it’s the culture created by the people who attend it. So they look at you, a 40 year old guy who is divorced, as suitable only to match up with a 40 something dried up divorced mom of five kids.

        If you want to meet girls at Church you’re going to have to learn a whole new set of social context. Also go into knowing that Church girls can be some of the most salacious sluts you’ll encounter. Not even going to go into the technical and born again virgins. If you look hard and put in the time, you can find a nice girl. But there is a lot social resistance built in to keep you from having a shot at her.

      • @ZLX1
        It’s not just church groups that do the mismatched age thing. I once signed up for some sort of speed dating service and they segregated you into those screwy age brackets. If I recall, I was 37 or so and got put in the 35-49 group and you couldn’t choose to hang out with, say, the 28-35 group, or something like that. They don’t seem to care much for the historical norm of older man / younger woman.

    • Richard Cranium on said:

      ZLX1 I’m an atheist so church functions are not an option and I don’t to do online dating it’s a waste of time for me. I’m in a spot right now that even trying to date would be a waste of time with no spare cash and having to live with my elderly parents being huge negatives. I don’t have enough game to pull that off (truth be told I have zero game) and I’m still not really over my last relationship. Besides I need to focus on getting my new music projects going and flaky females would just be an unneeded distractions.

      • Carry guitar at all times: musician game; leather coat/pants: motorcyclist-badboy game

      • Heh, motorcyclist bad boy… no comment.

      • P Ray on said:

        “I’m an atheist so church functions are not an option”
        Not everybody in church is a Christian either.

      • ZLX1 on said:


        I think that’s a challenge in two areas, how you present it, and how you feel about it, which influences how you present it. The longer I live the more I think that it’s just a matter of running into the right woman. Some women might be turned off by your current living situation, others would be turned on. A numbers game. Like Gene Simmons says, it only takes one “Yes.” So keep asking.

        I think the important thing is that when and if you divulge this information you present it in such a way that your attitude conveys that you don’t give an F what people think about how you live. And you shouldn’t.

        If you go over to Roosh’s blog he has a ton of entries about how he dated and dates for no/low dollar and found living with his parents actually gave him a boost. Again, it was all in how he presented it.

  8. Richard Cranium on said:

    That’s the funny part. I’m a musician, own a leather jacket and now ride a motorcycle and I couldn’t be more invisible to women if I tried. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with the fact I’m 5’5″ and 120 pounds there’s only so much “bad” I can pretend to be.

    • Learn to dance. It seems like some of the shorter guys are the best dancers. Musician + motorcycle + leather clad + kick-ass latin dancing = on chicks radar. I cant tell you the number of times Ive seen 8’s on the arms of average looking guys (some about your height) that were great dancers.

  9. Another after-work location where you might find this demographic is the local supermarket. Single women with jobs often do their grocery shopping on a weekday evening after leaving work.

    • ZLX1 on said:

      Have to agree on the grocery store. You have to hit it at the right times. Here it seems about 5:30-6:30 on weekdays and about 10:00-11:00 AM on weekends. I find the hottest chicks are always located in the produce section. Not kidding. I avoid the all natural food section. The women cruising those couple aisles are thin, which is good, but I was married to a vegetarian, and no offense to anyone who is, but when you’re a strict carnivore, it’s a pain in the ass to date one.

      • someguy302004 on said:

        Try dating a vegan or gluten free….

      • I have a friend whose humorous theory is that the best place to pick up is the ice cream aisle on Sunday night–where all those who haven’t gotten any action over the weekend come to get their substitute fix. 😀

  10. Mulligan on said:

    This is so true. I’m 45 and seeing a 23yo. My “experience” blows her away and there’s nothing like the tight ass that goes with youth, plus the risk of marriage is non-existant so even if I do have a “senior moment” I don’t have to worry about losing half my stuff since it “can’t happen. And yes, I’m snipped, so no worries there. The only downside is there’s a LOT of drama.

    The main challenge is that I’m finding “older” women less and less attractive so if I ever do want a LTR it will difficult to move up the age brackets.

  11. Jerry on said:

    I am 40 . I am living with a 35 yr old woman. I hound on the side with younger women. Do what the old timers did back in the 50’s-1970’s. Have a lady on the side. There are two types of women. Marriage material and bang material. No in between. I have my own place and car. I have a few grand for “fun” expenses. I go younger black women 19-23 or so. Or go Latinas from other countries. The black chicks are so fuc–ed up from living in the ghetto they will love you if you buy them a happy meal. The Latinas are looking to come to the USA so you can put them up for a few months in your place only DON’T give them money, education etc. They will get a mcjob under the table soon enough and leave when they are finished with you. Then just go back to Costa Rica, Columbia etc and go fishing. If your not catching any fish in the USA, then maybe go into a different pond.
    I live in suburban NJ so it helps to promote the “glamour” (B.S.) of the New York nightlife.

  12. The good old fashioned girls are really very hard to find these days.

    • Katherine on said:

      You guys are clueless! No wonder you’re single. I’m 37. Not fat. In grad school and have traveled the world all while my peers were getting married, fat and tied down. I have Bachelor’s degrees and am working on a master’s. I come from a traditional family with a mother and father who are still married. I am blonde haired, blue eyed, 5’8″ tall and run 13 miles a day for fun. 😉 I’m not crazy, I’m not a bitch and I assure you I’m not fat. I’ve chosen to date super successful men and have been asked to marry. Up until recently wasn’t sure I wanted kids because quite frankly, I enjoy boating, vacationing and being able to afford nice things. Keep going out with 22 year old women if you must, but treadightly. I assure you, if you do approach them at a “club” and you’re 40, they WILL think you’re creepy. Keep being delusional. 😉

  13. Katherine on said:

    And…just a little side note…age and beauty don’t always go hand in hand. It takes a mature man with higher standards to seek a woman with intellect. Even a 22 year old is one car accident or twinky away from ugly. Grow up. Find someone you can connect with and you will be way more fulfilled, unless you’re depth is non-existent. Some women, such as myself prefer successful men. The ones who are highly educated, intelligent and seeking beauty and brains not simply a “tight ass.” You know what? Even some 37 year olds have a tight ass. We also have something you will never find in a clueless 22 year old…we have enough experience to know who the losers are. If you are loser, you’re absolutely right a girl who brings everything to the table would never give you the time of day. So, keep going for the young and naive. If they don’t think you’re a creepy crawly. Unless you’re super successful a 22 year old wants nothing to do with you. I would bet money on it, and if you are successful and she does give you the time of day chances are all she wants is for to pay her rent. Happy hunting!

    • So lmgts…because you’re 37 and ‘choose’ to date successful men, you do not classify yourself in the same category as the 22 yr. old who chooses to date successful men as well? She is obviously looked down upon by you from your high perch. What, may I ask, is the difference between the two of you besides wrinkles and a tight ass?

  14. Tom on said:

    Well for a Good man like me that really wanted to get married and have a family which all i would have to do is meet a Good woman that is Not so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very money hungry which then i would really have it made. Good Luck trying to find one that is Not like that at all for me which is why i am still Single since it does take Two To Tangle.

  15. Martin on said:

    Articles like this are hilarious. “There will be very few women of good character and who aren’t fat” – so naturally the article suggests going after women significantly younger than you so that you can have a perfect, feminine supermodel who will cater to your every whim. But if women 28-35 say they don’t want to be with a guy who’s fat/bald/weird the cry always comes up that they’re ageing women who are going need to reduce their expectations (i.e. take any man who’s ‘charitable’ enough to consider them) or be single forever. There’s nothing like double standards.

  16. The writer of this article is chauvinist and obnoxious who wants a woman just to have her as a fertilizer in his life who can cook n clean and feed his sexual needs and should be young physically for sex ,naive and dumb enough so as to never recognize his true malicious double standard character.

    • Well, as I had a vasectomy, I’m not sharing my genes. As for the rest, what’s wrong with having someone (male or female) help with the household chores?

      As for being a chauvinist and obnoxious… I AM!

      Suck it up, special snowflake.

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