The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

If You’re Not Reading “Awful Profiles by Women”…

If you’re not reading my “Awful Profiles by Women” page (link below and above), you’re missing out on some awesome comments. A loyal reader, ZLX1, has recently posted the following – it’s incredible and I’ve not touched a single word in his comment:

I didn’t say anything about the woman’s looks. I submitted her age and what she wrote. Her looks did not matter. It was her personality, which you are so concerned that we should love as much has her looks, that turned me off to her. Her looks were great.

What turned me off was the following:

1. She states writing these things (dating profiles) sucks: indicates to me that she thinks online dating is beneath her. I have actually read profiles where women flat out said “I can’t believe I’ve sunk this low…” as the opening line of their profile. Really? So then I guess because I am doing online dating I’m a lowly piece of crap? Get over yourself dear.

2. She said she’s educated. I’m neutral on that point, other than every woman puts that in her profile as if to say “Look what a great catch I am! I’m educated!” That’s neither here nor there for me. A masters in organizational management doesn’t give me a boner. What!!!???? That’s right, I’m looking for a woman that I am attracted to and her educational attainments are not part of the package that does it for me. That’s a nice to have, not a must have. If I was a woman looking for man, his education and career would be much higher up on the list of important stuff I was looking for.

3. She says she is sarcastic. Sarcasm is not the same as having a good sense of humor or wit. I deal with tough people all day in my business. When I get home the last thing in the world I want to be is “challenged” or to play word games with an acid tongued woman. I’m not asking for too much. Just a woman who exudes warmth and humor rather than sarcasm.

4. She says she can’t stand people who are sensitive or get offended by every little thing. This would indicate to me that she is the kind of person who says and does a lot of overt and covert things to “sting” the people around her and then wants to act surprised that their feelings are hurt.

5. She “hates” (her word) people who can’t spell properly or use good grammar. Well, her’s is not the best. This indicates to me that she is hypercritical. So, if she met a guy in person somewhere that she found attractive, he was charming and fun, and then he texted her later and misspelled something, she would dump him instantly? Don’t think so. Why put it online and turn people off?

6. Makes contacting her seem like a dare: “Anyway, after all that, if you still want to contact me, go right ahead!” No thanks.

7. Her idea for a first date: “Anything that makes me want a second date.” So, I am here to provide the entertainment for her? Is that correct? Am I not also a human being out on this date? Does she not have a responsibility to try to make a good impression on me as well and to make me desire to see her again? I guess not in her world. I’m just a wallet, tour guide and stand-up comic all in one. “Hey honey – you bring the vagina, and I’ll bring the money and the funny!”

This is what I am looking for in a long term interest, and I don’t think I’m atypical:

1. I must be physically attracted to her. Oh my gosh you put that first???!!! Yeah, I did. Believe it or not, there are women out there who are flattered that their date, boyfriend, husband finds them physically irresistible. Or would you prefer something else? Like I tell my friends “Yeah, she has a nice personality and she’s educated, but the only way I can bring myself to have sex with her is to turn the lights out…” I don’t think you would. I’m not asking for Kate Beckinsale and I’m not personally pretty enough to date her. I’m just looking for whatever it is that I find attractive. Sometimes that’s a woman with brown hair, sometimes blonde. Sometimes she is taller and thin, sometimes a little shorter and curvier. I just have to find her attractive.

2. Must be feminine in appearance and demeanor. It’s okay for a woman to be a woman and for a man to be a man, and for the two of them to be together. I only date women with long hair, who do a little make-up and who wear dresses and heels from time to time. I don’t put up with women who have boob tattoos or who cuss, drink, or smoke to excess or otherwise act like men or masculine. I like women, not men with boobs.

3. Must have life skills. I judge, and yes I just used that word, I judge her as I find out more information. I’m looking to see if she makes responsible decisions and can manage her life in a reasonable manner. I bring a lot to the table. I require that any woman I would be serious with bring similar qualities. Not that she should have the same financial resources or attainments that I do, but that she conducts her life in such a way that one day I might consider entrusting things to her because she has a track record of not being a loser.

4. Must be fun and engaging. I don’t expect her to entertain me but I don’t want to hang around with a sourpuss that never laughs and always has a frown on her face. I like a woman with whom it is pleasant to spend time with. So when we are not having lots of sex, it is fun to do things together and to talk and to kid around.

5. Must be compatible with my lifestyle. If she is so busy going to girls night’s out, zip lining, kayaking, volunteering, rock climbing, chasing after her children, etc., etc. then I can’t date her with serious intent. I will not accept that I will invest my time with someone who would place me in 6th or 7th place in her life. There are many other women who would not do that. Why settle right? (chuckle) Nor will I mold my life to revolve around her family and friends. I am happy to build a life together with her, but I am not abandoning mine all of mine to be her lap dog, waiter and chauffeur.

6. She must have morals and have some type of inner spiritual life. Watching Jersey Shore and reading Cosmo horoscopes doesn’t count.

7. Oh yeah, she has to be educated. I almost forgot that one.


So given this woman’s looks and personality combination what is my personal assessment in regards to would I attempt to date her? I would bang her but she seems like a pain in the ass and it would personally be painful for me to spend the time with her required to get her into bed. Not worth the effort of even casual interest or a fuck and run / pump and dump adventure. I’m sure just a few profile clicks away is some rich doctor or lawyer who has been waiting his whole life to sweep such a woman off of her feet. Never fear, Prince Charming is right around the corner I suspect.

Awful Profiles by Women


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16 thoughts on “If You’re Not Reading “Awful Profiles by Women”…

  1. JohnnyFive on said:

    While it is literally painful to read the average profile done by female online daters, it is highly educational.

    The first and most annoying mistake they make is that they list all the things I’m supposed to be in order to get with them. All of these conditions are listed in lieu of saying anything about themselves that would make me want to pursue them in the first place. Women believe that since 10 guys message them a day (if they’re decent looking) that they are in the driver’s seat. The truth is that the man they’re actually hoping to be pursued by is turned off by their haughty babble.

    The second mistake is their complete ignorance of what men are looking for. The only place they show any acumen in this department is their pictures where most show some skin. It’s almost an unwritten rule that they can’t say anything about doing or being things to make men happy (pleasantness, simplicity, vibrance, or selflessness). Occasionally, you’ll see some relic of classic femininity spoken of (cooking, etc.).

    The third mistake is an utter lack of courage. These women rarely make any approaches and mostly just the ugly ones. I once got a message from a woman that was just one word: hello. Wow, what a charmer!

    Online dating profiles bring up a sense of anger in me that is just unmanageable when I eventually realize the odds of meeting a woman worth the trouble is just almost non-existent.

    • P Ray on said:

      Selling hope is a sure way to become rich if you do not care about the fate of those you lie to.
      That’s why make up companies are worth so much, and target their advertisements mostly at women (who rarely grow up feeling they have no stake in society or regularly attending the school of hard knock(er)s).
      Of course, the male analogue to this are the “dating” websites – are you even sure you are corresponding with a human being?

  2. GREAT comment by ZLX1. I, however, will never, never, ever, meet a woman that meets the standards of his seven point list. Im lucky to find women who meet two of them. And I dont think his standards are that high.

    I think there may come a time in a man’s life where he has to decide seriously if he really wants to bother with women. Almost all of them miss the basic criteria that trying to find the few that do is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. As you get older what little most women bring to the table cannot compete with a male life of freedom.

    I imagine women have analogous thoughts, but I think men are more intellectually honest and so the mans POV is usually more slaient.

    • Senior Manchild on said:

      ¨I think there may come a time in a man’s life where he has to decide seriously if he really wants to bother with women. Almost all of them miss the basic criteria that trying to find the few that do is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. As you get older what little most women bring to the table cannot compete with a male life of freedom.¨


      When the overdose of hormones starts to subside and the knowledge gained becomes too apparent to ignore, you really should become increasingly fickle; you´ve got better things to do.

    • “I think there may come a time in a man’s life where he has to decide seriously if he really wants to bother with women. Almost all of them miss the basic criteria that trying to find the few that do is like trying to find a needle in a haystack…”

      I totally agree with you about a man having to seriously decide if you really want to bother with women at all. With women becoming more toxic and misandric as time goes by, it seems that the time that the younger men having to make this same decision is becoming sooner and sooner in their lives (they definitely have my sympathy).
      I can’t remember where it was, but I have heard that trying to find a decent, non-toxic, feminine woman nowadays is like “trying to find a piece of hay in a stack of poisoned needles”.

  3. One thing I have found, sadly, is if you release yourself from the “boner” requirement it opens up a lot more possibilities. There is the occasional, rare woman that really turns me on but invariably has a difficult personality who would be impossible to date. The best I can do in my parts is find a woman “that kind of turns me on” with a reasonable personality. I think a lot of guys will be going this way or giving up all together.

    • P Ray on said:

      If women are unable to love a man they cannot respect, men must internalise that they can never love a woman who doesn’t give them a boner.
      Spending time with a woman you are not attracted to (boner test) is a waste of both your times.

      • I disagree, it is not a waste of time. I get a lot of “soft” advantages (companionship, snuggling (!), she sees to really care about me and will look after me) that I wouldnt have if I was dateless. When more and more women becoming obese and difficult this will be the direction of relationships, IMO.

      • P Ray on said:

        You’re in a unique situation: women do not usually care for men they are not having sex with.
        Long may that time last.

  4. … to reap and not beshriek this webbed glow of treasons … to judge and not begrudge this ebb and flow of seasons … and the finest boors in the kindest spoors … that sally that only leads on … to tarry then … a fine wisdom, yea son.

  5. Brian on said:

    “3. Must have life skills. I judge, and yes I just used that word, I judge her as I find out more information. I’m looking to see if she makes responsible decisions and can manage her life in a reasonable manner.”

    This right here is the biggest thing I look at when deciding how far past sex I’ll take things with a woman. As a guy, with what I bring to the table, I take a lot of risk in getting too serious with a woman. I don’t care what she makes. But I definitely care a lot about how she manages what she has already. If she can’t be responsible with that, I’m sure as hell not going to give her access to what I have.

  6. wingman on said:

    Amazing how different the online world is from the real world. I’ll take a stab at a theory: women view the online world as a freebie, and not as a true source of man company. Why make an effort for a freebie? Just show the world some unvarnished version of what would pass elsewhere, and hey, maybe you get a bite. These women view with contempt the poor ‘losers’ who can only present themselves via online format. They start with the premise that you are a loser because you are online. But, if you develop some social skills and act publicly in ways PM is always talking about, you will meet a lot of perfectly decent women. You know why? because practically any woman you meet is in some way available, and all you got to do is walk out your front door and smile.

  7. Getting your ex girlfriend to want you back is not only a waste of time, but it is a waste of your life if you end up with her. Remember guys, you get one chance per woman, per lifetime.

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  9. Pingback: Online dating profiles from hell - The Single Dude's Guide to Life & Travel™

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