The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “May 18, 2012”

If You’re Not Reading “Awful Profiles by Women”…

If you’re not reading my “Awful Profiles by Women” page (link below and above), you’re missing out on some awesome comments. A loyal reader, ZLX1, has recently posted the following – it’s incredible and I’ve not touched a single word in his comment:

I didn’t say anything about the woman’s looks. I submitted her age and what she wrote. Her looks did not matter. It was her personality, which you are so concerned that we should love as much has her looks, that turned me off to her. Her looks were great.

What turned me off was the following:

1. She states writing these things (dating profiles) sucks: indicates to me that she thinks online dating is beneath her. I have actually read profiles where women flat out said “I can’t believe I’ve sunk this low…” as the opening line of their profile. Really? So then I guess because I am doing online dating I’m a lowly piece of crap? Get over yourself dear.

2. She said she’s educated. I’m neutral on that point, other than every woman puts that in her profile as if to say “Look what a great catch I am! I’m educated!” That’s neither here nor there for me. A masters in organizational management doesn’t give me a boner. What!!!???? That’s right, I’m looking for a woman that I am attracted to and her educational attainments are not part of the package that does it for me. That’s a nice to have, not a must have. If I was a woman looking for man, his education and career would be much higher up on the list of important stuff I was looking for.

3. She says she is sarcastic. Sarcasm is not the same as having a good sense of humor or wit. I deal with tough people all day in my business. When I get home the last thing in the world I want to be is “challenged” or to play word games with an acid tongued woman. I’m not asking for too much. Just a woman who exudes warmth and humor rather than sarcasm.

4. She says she can’t stand people who are sensitive or get offended by every little thing. This would indicate to me that she is the kind of person who says and does a lot of overt and covert things to “sting” the people around her and then wants to act surprised that their feelings are hurt.

5. She “hates” (her word) people who can’t spell properly or use good grammar. Well, her’s is not the best. This indicates to me that she is hypercritical. So, if she met a guy in person somewhere that she found attractive, he was charming and fun, and then he texted her later and misspelled something, she would dump him instantly? Don’t think so. Why put it online and turn people off?

6. Makes contacting her seem like a dare: “Anyway, after all that, if you still want to contact me, go right ahead!” No thanks.

7. Her idea for a first date: “Anything that makes me want a second date.” So, I am here to provide the entertainment for her? Is that correct? Am I not also a human being out on this date? Does she not have a responsibility to try to make a good impression on me as well and to make me desire to see her again? I guess not in her world. I’m just a wallet, tour guide and stand-up comic all in one. “Hey honey – you bring the vagina, and I’ll bring the money and the funny!”

This is what I am looking for in a long term interest, and I don’t think I’m atypical:

1. I must be physically attracted to her. Oh my gosh you put that first???!!! Yeah, I did. Believe it or not, there are women out there who are flattered that their date, boyfriend, husband finds them physically irresistible. Or would you prefer something else? Like I tell my friends “Yeah, she has a nice personality and she’s educated, but the only way I can bring myself to have sex with her is to turn the lights out…” I don’t think you would. I’m not asking for Kate Beckinsale and I’m not personally pretty enough to date her. I’m just looking for whatever it is that I find attractive. Sometimes that’s a woman with brown hair, sometimes blonde. Sometimes she is taller and thin, sometimes a little shorter and curvier. I just have to find her attractive.

2. Must be feminine in appearance and demeanor. It’s okay for a woman to be a woman and for a man to be a man, and for the two of them to be together. I only date women with long hair, who do a little make-up and who wear dresses and heels from time to time. I don’t put up with women who have boob tattoos or who cuss, drink, or smoke to excess or otherwise act like men or masculine. I like women, not men with boobs.

3. Must have life skills. I judge, and yes I just used that word, I judge her as I find out more information. I’m looking to see if she makes responsible decisions and can manage her life in a reasonable manner. I bring a lot to the table. I require that any woman I would be serious with bring similar qualities. Not that she should have the same financial resources or attainments that I do, but that she conducts her life in such a way that one day I might consider entrusting things to her because she has a track record of not being a loser.

4. Must be fun and engaging. I don’t expect her to entertain me but I don’t want to hang around with a sourpuss that never laughs and always has a frown on her face. I like a woman with whom it is pleasant to spend time with. So when we are not having lots of sex, it is fun to do things together and to talk and to kid around.

5. Must be compatible with my lifestyle. If she is so busy going to girls night’s out, zip lining, kayaking, volunteering, rock climbing, chasing after her children, etc., etc. then I can’t date her with serious intent. I will not accept that I will invest my time with someone who would place me in 6th or 7th place in her life. There are many other women who would not do that. Why settle right? (chuckle) Nor will I mold my life to revolve around her family and friends. I am happy to build a life together with her, but I am not abandoning mine all of mine to be her lap dog, waiter and chauffeur.

6. She must have morals and have some type of inner spiritual life. Watching Jersey Shore and reading Cosmo horoscopes doesn’t count.

7. Oh yeah, she has to be educated. I almost forgot that one.


So given this woman’s looks and personality combination what is my personal assessment in regards to would I attempt to date her? I would bang her but she seems like a pain in the ass and it would personally be painful for me to spend the time with her required to get her into bed. Not worth the effort of even casual interest or a fuck and run / pump and dump adventure. I’m sure just a few profile clicks away is some rich doctor or lawyer who has been waiting his whole life to sweep such a woman off of her feet. Never fear, Prince Charming is right around the corner I suspect.

Awful Profiles by Women


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