The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “May 14, 2012”

Escalation Trajectory

Finally, it all came together in a very nice choreography of Charisma. This past Friday, after work, I stopped in for a glass of wine at my local wine shop/bar. There were about five or so patrons at the bar, most of whom I am acquainted with. They were all clustered together for conversational purposes where the bar takes a 90 degree turn to starboard. Several seats away was an attractive woman whom I think I’d seen before. This iron is hot, it must be struck. Let’s break it all down…

1. After unloading my helmet and bag, I sat near her, not directly next to her but not with the other patrons. Guys, it’s important to be a little bold. Perhaps this woman wasn’t single but it’s no matter. Any opportunity to chat up a dame must be seized.

2. After ordering my wine, I opened her. “Good evening” I said in my deepest radio voice. It was intended to be comically formal. Guys must make the initial contact. It worked. She turned to me and smiled. Helluva radiant smile on this woman. I am a complete sucker for a gorgeous smile.  Hubba hubba.

3. Small talk commenced. In the course of the conversation, she qualified herself. “…my boyfriend, he died by the way, was also in technology…” Yikes, her previous boyfriend actually died. While this left me a bit flummoxed, she was chatting away quite comfortably so I let the conversation continue. Her continued conversation, despite that bombshell, showed her interest – actions over words.

4. This woman, Didi [name change, of course], was turning out to be a funny and quite pleasant. I subtly checked out her figure – short stature, in very good shape. She’s a solid 7, age adjusted. Speaking of ages, I couldn’t quite tell her’s. She could have been forty. But then she dropped a serious hint about her age. She declared that she’s a grandmother. Double yikes. I’m in grandmother territory here.

5. Maintain frame! Maintain frame! When interacting with a new, potential paramour, it’s way too easy for me to revert to the blue pill mentality. I checked myself against this. “You do realize that it’s your job to entertain me.” This line proved remarkably successful throughout the conversation and beyond.

6. Escalation trajectory is key. The conversation was good. I stood up and whispered in her ear “You’re going to see me again.” Make statements, never ask questions. She smiled at this and seemed quite eager. Something else, too – when she referred again to the deceased ex, she stopped referring to him as her “boyfriend”, she referred to him as her “friend”.

7. Leave first, but get the phone number before doing so. I did both.

8. Texting Charisma soon commenced! Texting with good Charisma is an art and a science. The limitations of texting are obvious so the words and phrases must be selected with great care. I am a master of the opaque technique. My favorite reply is “exactly”. If she laughs (“lol”), I come back with “exactly”. If she says anything vaguely complimentary towards me, my response is always “exactly”.

At some point the texting became more goal-oriented. She raised the issue of ice cream. I ran with it.

Me: “[My local ice cream place] is better and is within walking distance of me.”

Her: “I’ve never had ice cream there.”

Me: “Consider it an invitation.”

Her: “What do you have in mind?”

Me: “Ice cream and for you to continue to entertain me.”

Her” No, I mean when, silly.” [dang!]

Me: “Soon”

Next day texting:

Me: “Hey”

Her: “Hi”

Me: “And that’s entertaining?”

Her: “Did I mention that I can juggle?” [qualifying herself]

Me; “Me, too. Five objects at once. Did I mention that I can speak one language?” [escalation]

Okay, the following texts are pretty boring but the punchline comes here:

Me: “But I am your type.”

Her: “Smiling and speechless.”

Winsauce for the Private Man. A date was made and kept. Kissing resulted. Good times were had by all. Didi is a fine dame. She’s smart, funny, and damned good company. She’s about my age. Yeah, her hair is too short but that’s easy to over look because of that smile. Criminy, if women just smiled more, the world would be a better place.

Another date is planned for tomorrow.

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