The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “May 4, 2012”

Online Dating And When To Log In

I am ramping up a new online dating campaign. I will be using my existing system (links below) with Plenty of Fish (PoF), not OKCupid. Plenty of Fish offers the most members and I have paid for the privilege of seeing if my messages are read. As well, I don’t want to go through the effort of answering all those questions on OKCupid. I’ve re-written my profile to make it more breezy and relaxed. Frankly, my previous profile was bordering on too serious and even a bit demanding.

While looking at profiles, I see some of the same women who have been on for years and who have rejected my messages in the past. Thankfully, I keep notes on the many messages I’ve sent out over the past couple of years. I tend to use online dating in cycles so my efforts have waxed and waned over time. As was expected, there were many new women on Plenty of Fish. That dating website also displays those matches (as determined by PoF) who are are currently online.

The past three times I have logged in, I was very surprised to find myself matched to a large percentage of attractive, reasonably slender women who were all online at the time. This has never happened before. Sure, my PoF matches have lots of slender women, but I never found the in-shape dames logged in at the same time and in such numbers. What was the condition that changed?

The past three times I have logged in have been between 6:30AM and 7:00AM.

Such early-risers are likely to have an exercise routine and are taking a few minutes to check their PoF correspondence before getting ready for work. This explains why so many of my matches online had such decent figures. Because these women are more attractive, they likely get lots of correspondence and so very quickly run through their incoming messages. This means that these women are surfing photos and message titles only. There’s barely enough time to look at one or two actual profiles and maybe, just maybe, dash off a quick response.

Take away lessons for the guys:

  • Note the time when the woman returns a message. If it’s early, she likely has a good exercise routine and a full-time job.
  • Log in early and send messages early. You can write the messages in Notepad the previous evening and then copy them appropriately. If you do it early in the AM, she will assume that your schedule is much like hers – exercise and a full time job.
  • Have a great head-shot photo as your primary photo. The primary photo is displayed as a thumbnail next to your message title so your ugly mug must be featured prominently.
  • Make sure your message title is intriguing even for a woman to open the actual message. A simple “hello” will not suffice unless you’re very good-looking and the photo reflects that.  Be reasonably creative.

Other advice that bears repeating:

  • Never log in on Friday evenings, Saturdays (the whole day), or Sunday mornings.
  • Limit your evening log-in times to irregular weekdays. Being predictably online is being predictable and therefore boring to women.

You’re a busy man and limited log-in times reflect that.

Online Dating – A Short Primer

The Online Dating System Revisited

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