The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “March 27, 2012”

Constant, Unending Attention

A faithful reader and commenter, DC Phil, was talking to another blogger, Badger, and passed along something interesting and disheartening, especially for younger guys. I’ve alluded to it in the past but after some thought, the idea came together more solidly:

Thoughtful guys can’t compete with the constant and unending attention that younger women demand and now get through technology. These young women have the technology at their immediate disposal to fill every nanosecond with stimulation. Texting, tweeting, Facebooking, phoning, IM chatting. Technology produces a continuous stream of entertainment, education, and social connection. A girl’s every thought and every image can be quickly recorded and instantly transmitted to a network of other girls who are doing the exact same thing by recording and transmitting their own thoughts and images.

I see it in young women every day. Their faces raptly reading or texting (if they’re not actually talking) and if the response isn’t immediate, the look up, empty-eyed, looking instantly bored. Then, the phone makes a sound, and immediately concentration is refocused back on the wee screen. Consider this odd social change: pedestrian fatalities have risen because pedestrians are focusing on the phone, not the traffic that they just stepped in front of.

The nightclub scene must be wretched for young men because they are forced to compete with such instant, information gratification. A thoughtful, even marginally polite guy – unless he’s incredibly handsome – has to break through the wall of technology to even get a girl to acknowledge him. Is it any wonder why night club Charisma is about being almost primal? Guys should dress in skins and carry a club. That’s a facetious remark but indicative of where things stand with girls and their technology. In such an environment, guys have to practice the Charisma of a caveman.

For women closer to my age, it isn’t technology, but constant and never-ending activities. Shopping, cleaning, yoga, socializing can fill a woman’s non-work hours completely. But these are usually non-multitasking things without all the technology getting in the way. Getting a woman’s attention is far easier than getting a girl’s attention.

Constant phone use is a red flag. A girl who claims that she can’t live without her phone is a girl who is incapable of an truly intimate relationship with a man. A girl (or a woman) who cannot step away from the bombardment of digital attention is not of good character. She’s just indulging in a form of attention whoring  I have tremendous sympathy for younger guys. If the law allowed it, I’d recommend that guys carry around a cell phone jammer to break through the technology barrier.


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