The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Real Life Meets Blog

In one simple declaration, a piece of my blog anonymity almost came to an end:

You’re the Private Man.


It was bound to happen eventually. I won’t go into lurid details but one of my blog’s readers just happened to be sitting two bar-stools down at a local watering hole, my dog sitting on the stool between us. He was a friendly British guy and we were talking about dogs and some other inconsequential stuff. That’s when he hit me with that phrase.

I was absolutely stunned. I was so stunned that I forgot a good deal of the conversation we had. The beer didn’t help. Hopefully the reader can fill me in when I run into him again.

We talked a bit and I immediately got rather paranoid. Did this guy search me out? Did he have some ulterior motive? The Southern Poverty Law Center has only recently given the Manosphere some attention, after all (no linkage from me). We talked more. Nope, he’s just yet another Manosphere reader quite familiar with Manosphere blogs.

He promised to keep my identity and blog a secret from anyone in the village where I live. Thanks, reader, I do appreciate it. But dammit, I forgot his name! The next day, I asked the bartender if the British fellow was a regular and she told me that yes, this guy lives here and frequents that particular bar. His sitting next to me was indeed a coincidence.

It’s hard to say that having readers in my small village is significant to me or the Manosphere. Perhaps my blog’s reach is wider than I had previously thought. Or, perhaps my village attracts the type of guy who would gravitate to the Manosphere and the subjects covered by all the blogs here.

I am going to be quite circumspect about posting any more personal information about me, however. Because of Julie, I’ve already hidden one post and have decided against posting another one that’s already written. She knows that I blog but I won’t tell her how to find it. It’s not much of an issue, yet.

Carry on with your bad selves.

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33 thoughts on “Real Life Meets Blog

  1. Uh oh. Quick, everyone archive this blog now for future reference when the oncoming shut-down happens!

  2. LostSailor on said:

    Yes! Quick! “The Private Man” may become the manosphere’s first samizdat!

    If you’re on the lam, TPM, c’mon up to the big city; I’m we can find a sweet young thing to hide you…

  3. Actually, TPM, that just happened to me recently, too. I was happily blogging away one day when I got an email out of the blue from a reader . . . who just happened to be married to a good friend of my wife. Like, I was at their wedding.

    Now, he’s a solid Red Pill dude, running the MAP and blogging himself, but I won’t deny I had both a tiny “EEEEK! I’m BUSTED!” moment and a little “Oh, Goddess, I’m famous!” moment all rolled into one. Heady stuff. He was totally cool with it, of course, but it was a little scary, too.

    But I remind each of the dudes who reads this to remember that it is implicit for the proper function of the Manosphere that anonymity is respected, when requested, and it is incumbent on us to protect it when possible. If you happen to run across a Manosphere blogger, be cool about it. Please. Revalorizing masculinity, preserving civilization and getting our collective ashes hauled more regularly is a noble, nay, holy mission, and each of us has an important role to play. Don’t be “that dude who ruined it for everyone”.

    Besides, a gentleman should know how to be discreet.

  4. LostSailor on said:

    Don’t worry guys. We got your back…

  5. Hey duck: my mum told me you were in that bar near the woman with the nice arse. Enjoyed meeting you, PM

  6. irishmaninsoflo on said:

    Hey PM, you can blame Lucy for the recognition. It was good meeting you, even though you were a bit panicked…enjoyed the chat…will tell you some stories of my time here next time we meet, small town as it is.

    • Panicked? Shit, I was totally freaked out. You saw it.

      I am sure we will run into each other again.

      Sorry, thought you were British… my bad… and cold beer altered my accent perceptions.

  7. AYFKM??? on said:

    But I remind each of the dudes who reads this to remember that it is implicit for the proper function of the Manosphere that anonymity is respected, when requested, and it is incumbent on us to protect it when possible… Don’t be “that dude who ruined it for everyone”.

    SO… I wonder why some guy’s first name and identifying accoutrements are spelled out in this post?????? WTH???????? Mr. Bill!! =:O

  8. Alpha on said:

    I suspect my boss reads my blog – though I have yet to confirm this.

    I mentioned something from my blog in passing, and he responded with, “Do you read pick up blogs?”

    It was an odd moment.

  9. Phinn on said:

    I think I’m just up the road from you, on the Treasure Coast. It’s a small town, but Game has its application here, just like everywhere else. Even on the middle-aged mostly-married cocktail party circuit, I’ve seen a fair share of guys running obvious sets (obvious to me, anyway).

    Maybe it’s time for Manosphere aficionados to have a secret handshake.

  10. The thought of being revealed is scary. I had a “friend” threaten to out me over one of my blog posts a few weeks ago. I was freaking out that I’d lose a year and a half’s worth of work due to one guy who won’t change the channel when he saw something he didn’t like.

    • DC Phil on said:

      Sounds like pettiness befitting a shrew, not a trusted confidant.

    • WTF? Is your blog controversial? I don’t think so.

      • Usually I just write about whatever dumb shit that makes me laugh because I figure it’ll make other people laugh, so my blog typically isn’t very controversial.

        I was riding my bike through town and saw a dead body & severed head a couple of weeks ago. I posted some blurry pics on my blog, mainly in an effort to beat the local news media to the story (which I did by several hours, scoring over a thousand search engine hits). My former friend freaked out and said I’d crossed some kind of moral boundary by making the event public. I was like “dude, the guy crawled under a moving train in the center of the fucking city. He made his own death a spectacle.”

        It was the third time this guy had indirectly threatened to out me (the previous two were over my views on game), so I blocked him on Facebook and all my comments are now moderated. Luckily, this dude is really stupid when it comes to how the internet works, and won’t be able to figure out one of the millions of ways he could make my name/picture public without using Facebook.

    • Having a similar issue now. Only two ppl know about what I do and I’m falling out with one right now. Luckily no one close to me reads a single blog, but I’m still worried about being outed to friends and such. Glad all went well TPM.

  11. John Dark on said:

    Hell, I just found this blog by googling you, following a comment on Alpha Game. I am now officially addicted.

    I have spent the last two hours reading your posts when I should have been working. I am late 50’s, English, in a nasty separation from a narcissistic princess of a wife. You can probably guess that your articles resonate with me like a steam shovel through wooden floorboards. Wonderful blog. Thank you.

    • Have a look at

      I appreciate the kind words. Also, tell all your guy friends about the Manosphere.

      • John Dark on said:

        PM, thank you. I will have a look at shrink4men. Have told my friends about the Manosphere. They are having some trouble getting their heads around the idea, the general response is that my upcoming divorce has led to “weird” websites. I will persevere.

    • I’d also recommend Athol Kay’s Married Man Sex Life primer and blog. Even if you aren’t currently in a LTR, it’s an invaluable resource for understanding the male-female mating dynamic.

    • LostSailor on said:

      John: Welcome to the world of the real. Though I’m younger than you (not by much) and my divorce was amicable, I’ve found that after choosing the Red Pill, there’s actually a lot of life out there. Don’t despair, it gets better.

      • John Dark on said:

        Hi Lost Sailor,

        I am hoping you are right. I discovered Roissy/Roosh/Alpha Game 18 months ago (the month in which my marriage ended. I know now that i was hopelessly Beta in the marriage. I am now in the process of change, it’s uncomfortable but I know that this is better. Thanks for your feedback.

      • LostSailor on said:

        You’re welcome. Our stories are similar. I’d been separated for about a year when I stumbled on Roissy’s Citizen Renegade. I must have spent days reading nearly every post in the archive. I was gobsmacked. The change takes practice, but if you’re going to get back out there with the ladies, you’re going to need it. I was last in the “dating scene” back at the end of the 80s. It’s a whole different ballgame now.

        I don’t read Roosh much, though I did read Bang. Being over 50 changes the game a bit, and Roosh’s approach, while still useful for me, is a young man’s game. Alpha Game is fairly new, though I’d been reading Vox’s main blog for quite a while.

        Good luck. Now, go out and pick up a sweet young thing. At the very least it’ll probably drive your ex nuts…

  12. Wait a minute, i recall you saying you would meet any local reader interested for an adult cocktail at the beach to talk game. Oh, my bad, you were referring to weemens, silly me.

  13. Superb story.

    I don’t worry about it, but occasionally I’ve wondered what would happen if I were ‘outed’.

    A few people know my real identity, but I’ve issued threats of severe punishment in order to keep them quiet. 😉

    Ultimately, I stand by my words. That’s all there is to it.

  14. Alpha on said:

    I’ve been considering outing myself lately because I want to do youtube videos for instruction.

  15. Random Angeleno on said:

    Spartacus revisited:
    I am The Private Man!

    Everyone say it with me!

  16. Pingback: Yeah, Florida | The Private Man

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