The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “March 22, 2012”

Reader Mailbag – Dating Younger Women

This excellent email arrived recently:

I’ve been reading your blog regularly since its inception and enjoy your posts.  We are kindred spirits, what with you approaching 50 [I’m now 50 – ed.] and myself having spent almost 54 years on this ball of dust we call home.  I’ve noticed, in my study of charisma/game, that on first blush it appears to be a young man’s sport.  In fact, on some forums it would appear the “players” regard themselves as over the hill after the ripe old age of 35.  But as you and I both know, inside of every young buck is an older gentleman who will eventually get out.  And, as we also know, some men of a certain age refuse to accept anything less than a willing woman of a significantly lesser age.  This begs the question:  how low can an older guy go?

The reader’s email goes on to describe his preferences in women and his relationship expectations (no LTR, just “dating”). He also describes himself because he knows he must bring something to the table. In summary, he’s tall, fit, dresses well, and [insert drum roll]… he’s an emergency room doctor.

That’s right, he’s a physician.

He also sent a couple of photos that shows he’s not a bad-looking gentleman, full head of grayish hair and nothing terrible about his face.

The conventional wisdom states that a guy should never chase women younger than half his age plus seven years. Here’s some unconventional wisdom: A guy should pursue any adult woman whom he can catch, regardless of age. When a middle-age gent is seen with a much younger and attractive woman, it says to the world he has value to [insert drum roll]… younger and attractive women. Sure, women his own age will heap derision on him and his “dates” (Fiona, please pick up the white courtesy phone), but that is not relevant to his romantic life. Nothing says social proof more than a young, attractive woman on a man’s arm.

On the surface, this guy has all the qualifications to be a true silver fox with younger women. If he has real Charisma, he could certainly be successfully pursuing women in their late 20s. His Charisma must be really, really tight – from appearance to personal interactions with everyone. His confidence must be totally bullet proof. Most important of all, he must be completely and utterly outcome independent with women. His demeanor and frame must be based on knowing that there is a complete female abundance at his beck and call.

As a doctor, he’ll get a fair share of gold-diggers but as he’s not looking for a long-term relationship, he just has to be careful about batshit crazy girls. All the women he “dates” will likely think they can score a commitment from him. Men are the gatekeepers to commitment. Given his profession, a scorned batshit crazy woman could truly wreak havoc on his life.

For the record, Charisma is not just a young man’s game. It must be applied to any man who wants to have successful relationships with women in his life, regardless of age.

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