The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Good Frame From Receiving Compliments

When a woman is really into a man, she will compliment him. Receiving a compliment from a woman is a great thing, especially if the attraction and comfort is mutual. Receiving compliments can also be a bit problematic because how does a man with confidence and Charisma respond and still maintain solid, confident frame? The compliment must be, at the very least, acknowledged. A “thank you” works just fine but it’s a seriously missed opportunity to establish or maintain confident frame.

Returning the compliment is usually considered good form (“you’re cool, too”) but it smacks of supplication. I’m not going to get all cynical and say that compliments to a man are just a cheap tactic for a woman to receive a compliment in return. A woman deeply attracted to a man will give honest compliments and expect nothing in return. However, watch out for a woman fishing for compliments, that’s a shit test.

One answer to the compliment response lies at the opposite end of the spectrum when a woman delivers a mild or rather non-serious insult. Standard Charisma dictates the “agree and amplify” in this situation.

“Oh, you’re such a jerk” says a woman to man she finds attractive but won’t let herself admit it.

My standard response is to agree and amplify with this come-back:

“I know I am. My father was a jerk, my grandfather was a jerk, but his father was a complete ass.”

It usually works.

The same tactic can be applied to a compliment.

A woman says, “You’re really cool.”

An agree and amplify response would be, “I know I am. My father was cool, my grandfather was cool, but his father was awesome.”

There is a whole range of funny and confident responses:

  • Just cool? I’m super extraordinarily cool!
  • Cool is my middle name
  • Chuck Norris learned his coolness from me

All these responses are quite cocky. They are also so over-the-top as to be humorous. That’s good. Women are attracted to confident, funny men. Receiving a compliment is one of the best verbal indicators of interest from a woman. The agree and amplify response serves to maintain attraction, even if comfort is well established.

There are other possible responses that aren’t so over the top but still work to establish or maintain frame:

  • It took you this long to notice?
  • The coolness medication must be working. I need to thank my doctor.
  • What, I’m not hot? [That’ll confuse ’em nicely]

Follow up the compliment response with a physical sign of affection. A good kiss is perfect.

There is an important consideration. These responses must be delivered effortlessly. An enormous part of having good Charisma is being able to understand and act/react to the rhythm and flow of a conversation. For a man not versed in the art of good conversation and voice control, such responses may absolutely blow up in his face with clumsy awkwardness. A man not so verbally adroit or confident should use the standard “Thank you” or some variation thereof.

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5 thoughts on “Good Frame From Receiving Compliments

  1. Practice these lines, fellas — you’ll be glad you did. All too often men are taken off-guard by flirtatious flattery — we’re willing to dish it out, but we just don’t know how to take it. TPM has some excellent advice here.

    As an OMG I get LOTS of compliments from the envious single women who orbit around my wife. I’ve learned to take them graciously, and respond in a couple of practiced ways. At this point they roll off the tongue automatically.

    “You have such pretty eyes!”
    “Thanks. They’re the Ironwood Curse. They only attract crazy women.”

    “I don’t know how you do everything you do! You’re amazing! What keeps you going?”
    “Thanks. I have a lot of inspiration. Mrs. Ironwood puts out like a fiend.”

    (crossing-the-line-from-friendly-flirtation-to-will-you-cheat-on-your-wife) “Gosh, Ian, I’ve never met a man like you before! Maybe we should go somewhere and . . . discuss it more in-depth . . .”
    “Thanks. But it takes a special kind of woman to keep up with me, sweetheart, and frankly you can’t come close to comparing to my wife. She earned me. But better luck next time.”

    To be fair I’ve only had to use the last one twice — it’s pretty brutal, but it’s extremely effective. Flirt with me all day long, but try to actually entice me into an intimate situation and I’ll verbally flay you in front of the gods and everybody. I’m just that way.

    But learn to take a compliment, fellas, and be ready to respond quickly. In Single Game, it’s very easy to use the opportunity to improve your position and maintain your frame.

    Consider a fairly typical low-ball compliment, say when a girl wants to flatter your sense of masculine pride and probe for how much money you have:

    “Wow, you must be really good at what you do!”

    “I am. I’m even better the second time.” (escalation)

    “Thanks. You can’t spend eight years studying cunnilingus without picking up a few things. Oh, wait, you weren’t talking about cunnilingus, were you? Why not? Are you allergic?” (escalation)

    “Let’s get out of here, and you can judge for yourself.” (Escalation & Isolation)

    “And you’re pretty cute for a chick your age. Wanna go someplace and discuss current events?” (Soft neg & Isolation)

    “I am good at what I do. And one of the things I do is pick up hot, horny chicks for nights of wild passion. So are you in? My car’s outside.” (escalation, isolation, and soft neg).

    Just a few suggestions.

  2. Once Upon a Time on said:

    Just last week I got the “Wow, what’s it like to have that level of confidence?” (Shit test and compliment). Reply: I leave to your viewers imagination…

  3. These are incredibly corny responses that most women would roll their eyes at and think is, at best, a douchy, at worst extremely corny and douchy. If you’re high status and/or good looking, you’ll get away with these as women will still be attracted. What then is the purpose of such a canned line? If are you not these, then these will sound deliberate and rehearsed which is repulsive. True charisma means you deliver a natural and impromtu response which is funny or witty, not a canned, memorized line. [Re-read the last paragraph of the post] If you are good looking enough to have attractive features which draw compliments you should be gracious or even humble when complimented. No one likes the attractive person that knows their attractive, agrees that they are attractive, and uses it. People resent this. Girls especially hate that type of narcissism. [That’s what women say, always look to their actions to find the truth about whom they are actually attracted to.] Again you’ll only get away with if you’re a high status or very beautiful man. [Or, if she’s already into you which was in the first sentence in the post] Say thank you or if you want to be a little more saucy, say with a smile “flattery will get you nowhere honey” or “flattery will get you…Everywhere”. They will laugh at this cause it embarrasses them a little, and maintains a frame of confidence and a non-requirement of external validation. [Agreed]

    Also: Cool people dont tell other people that they are cool. Nor do cool people “say cool is my middle name” unless in the most ironic way possible for humor. Agreeing that you are cool is not cool. A cool person, when told he is cool, does not eagerly amplify the compliment. [Why not? Cool is subjective. Hell, replace the word “cool” with any complimentary word. The response tactic stays the same] This suggests you need and crave validation that you are cool…which is not cool. If someone says, “you’re really cool”, just say “thanks, I try” [False modesty is not a good thing] or again tease them for complimenting you by suggesting they are flattering/sucking up you and are on to their game. [Agreed] When a sincere compliment comes your way, it risks making the vibe serious which isnt good. Keep it lighthearted [the responses are humorous hyperbole, a light-hearted thing indeed], easy going and funny. Quickly accept it or brush it off humorously, then push forward in your game and conversation.

    Lastly,if the vibe is already sexual and there has been tension, you can use a physical compliment as an opening to escalate. If she compliments your eyes, arms, legs, face, lips it’s likely that you have already at least talking to her for a bit, and established some comfort and possibly it’s game on. Try to close at this point. You can response with, “…and you have nice…” [glance quickly at her tits], “..eyes as well” or but better yet just look her up and down with a slight grin and say, “I like a few of your features as well” Then make out or commence some sort of physical contact. [Agreed]

  4. Candide on said:

    One of the top mistakes a newbie learning Game has is to overplay the cocky funny banter in the wrong context. In this receiving a compliment context, they go for C&F when the situation is screaming for a simple escalation.

    All of your lines here are fine in a public social situation (i.e you’re there flirting around and your or her friends are nearby). It’s great for social proof too. However, if you’re one on one with her, it is a signal for physical escalation. Don’t kill the mood trying to be funny and force your witty lines in, even if you’re dying to use them since you read some Game blog weeks ago.

  5. My favorite response to compliments (developed before taking the red pill): “I’m so glad we agree.” This strongly annoys certain kinds of females.

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