The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “March 21, 2012”

Good Frame From Receiving Compliments

When a woman is really into a man, she will compliment him. Receiving a compliment from a woman is a great thing, especially if the attraction and comfort is mutual. Receiving compliments can also be a bit problematic because how does a man with confidence and Charisma respond and still maintain solid, confident frame? The compliment must be, at the very least, acknowledged. A “thank you” works just fine but it’s a seriously missed opportunity to establish or maintain confident frame.

Returning the compliment is usually considered good form (“you’re cool, too”) but it smacks of supplication. I’m not going to get all cynical and say that compliments to a man are just a cheap tactic for a woman to receive a compliment in return. A woman deeply attracted to a man will give honest compliments and expect nothing in return. However, watch out for a woman fishing for compliments, that’s a shit test.

One answer to the compliment response lies at the opposite end of the spectrum when a woman delivers a mild or rather non-serious insult. Standard Charisma dictates the “agree and amplify” in this situation.

“Oh, you’re such a jerk” says a woman to man she finds attractive but won’t let herself admit it.

My standard response is to agree and amplify with this come-back:

“I know I am. My father was a jerk, my grandfather was a jerk, but his father was a complete ass.”

It usually works.

The same tactic can be applied to a compliment.

A woman says, “You’re really cool.”

An agree and amplify response would be, “I know I am. My father was cool, my grandfather was cool, but his father was awesome.”

There is a whole range of funny and confident responses:

  • Just cool? I’m super extraordinarily cool!
  • Cool is my middle name
  • Chuck Norris learned his coolness from me

All these responses are quite cocky. They are also so over-the-top as to be humorous. That’s good. Women are attracted to confident, funny men. Receiving a compliment is one of the best verbal indicators of interest from a woman. The agree and amplify response serves to maintain attraction, even if comfort is well established.

There are other possible responses that aren’t so over the top but still work to establish or maintain frame:

  • It took you this long to notice?
  • The coolness medication must be working. I need to thank my doctor.
  • What, I’m not hot? [That’ll confuse ’em nicely]

Follow up the compliment response with a physical sign of affection. A good kiss is perfect.

There is an important consideration. These responses must be delivered effortlessly. An enormous part of having good Charisma is being able to understand and act/react to the rhythm and flow of a conversation. For a man not versed in the art of good conversation and voice control, such responses may absolutely blow up in his face with clumsy awkwardness. A man not so verbally adroit or confident should use the standard “Thank you” or some variation thereof.

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