The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Actions Over Words – A Vignette

I was hanging out at my local wine bar recently. Two of the female regulars were with me. Both are single and generally making a mild attempt at finding a fellow. One, a fat blond about 45; the other, a slight above average brunette about 53 or so. For the record, I have no interest in either.

They were bitching about men and how no men were interested in them. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. They were busy digging themselves deeper into a hole, their respective rationalization hamsters working the shovels. The man-shaming and self-validating was epic to behold. They told each other that men were so stupid not to find them attractive.

As I know these women reasonably well, they did finally turn to me to go along with their crap and validate their attractiveness. Um, no. Instead, I dispensed some direct Red Pill dating wisdom. I kept it simple. “The feminine attracts the masculine.” Hilarity did not ensue.

The fat blond immediately took the straw man logical fallacy. “You mean men want young, skinny, shallow women!” The other one simply gave up. “I guess I’ll never find a man because I can’t wear anything but jeans and sweatshirts.” I didn’t engage any more because these two women knew they hit the wall and knew exactly what I was talking about.

The fat blond then started a fierce soliloquy about men and how shallow they were and how women of a certain age should be desired just as much as young women, yadda yadda yadda. I just looked at her as she went on. Suddenly, in the midst of her minor tirade about the shallow nature of men and how it’s not necessary to be so feminine, she paused. What she did next made me laugh.

She stood up,  fixed her hair, and then re-applied her very red lipstick.

After sitting back down, she kept on going with her verbosity. I couldn’t help but smile. I stopped her and politely told her that I was going outside for a smoke.

Consider it, in the middle of her speech railing against the notion that the feminine attracts the masculine, she made an effort to appear more feminine.

Her words were quite clear. Her actions, however, told the truth.

Carry on with your bad selves.

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24 thoughts on “Actions Over Words – A Vignette

  1. Great story. 🙂

  2. Not quite as good as Plutogirl on Mining the Comments which is hilarious.

    • DC Phil on said:

      Oy, I just read those comments. My ears were splitting!

    • The Pluto Girl saga is continuing. Read the last comment on that post. I am not going to engage her or her Greek chorus of singing hamsters.

      • DC Phil on said:

        Where’s the chorus from? The Kuiper Belt or at the edge of the Solar System?

      • White Rabbit on said:

        Are you all a bunch of haters? What’s with all the ragging on Plutogirl? She is one classy lady and a great role model. Besides being a talented actress, she’s also a caring person involved with charity work for the poorest of the poor in Africa. Her life is about helping other people. Are you guys jealous much?

      • How is she at making sammiches and serving beer?

    • Comet Watcher on said:

      Plutogirl is gorgeous! Privateman, you need to decide what you want. On the one hand, you complain about Plutogirl who says she’s happy to be single and willing to admit she doesn’t need or want a guy to make her happy while on the other hand, you complain because these women do want a guy but then go on and on about guys not wanting them because the guys are too shallow. These are two very different reactions, but you seem to disapprove equally of both of them. Into thought control at all?

  3. DC Phil on said:

    Behold, cognitive dissonance.

  4. P Ray on said:

    It’s interesting that the 45 year old woman got up to add lipstick and fix her hair,
    while the 53 year old did not.
    To my systems-oriented mind, that seems to indicate that the wall is smacked sometime between those ages.

  5. (r)Evoluzione on said:

    P Ray–no, the wall is struck much earlier than that. It’s simply then when a woman *recognizes* that she’s post-wall. For the interim period, the hamster goes on, doing vigorous damage control in the form of rationalization.

  6. Miss_Fu on said:

    Funny story. The fact that the fat blonde fixed her hair suggests that, subconsciously, she didn’t believe the words coming out of her own mouth. Is it possible that she continued her rambling in order to deceive her friend into thinking that femininity doesn’t matter? Especially since you said that the brunette was a bit above average?

  7. Hamster Tamer on said:

    We raise a glass, and salute TPM, who “took the grenade” (i.e. actually grabbed a table with these two hamster ranchers), in his quest to bring us blog-worthy material. It takes a straight-faced non-chalance I’m not sure I could muster… even if they were paying… and I’m sure they weren’t.

    Fortunately, this sad scene of delusion plays out only in the Anglosphere. Most women in the rest of the world pride themselves on being NOT like this.

    • DC Phil on said:

      This is very true and I’ve seen this for myself. In Romania, I met two 20-something 8s who were sweethearts. The first was a bit high-energy and prickly, but fun to be with. The second, when I told her that she was gorgeous, demurred and said she wasn’t. She thought she was “average.”

  8. I do like how you see it straight, tell it straight.

  9. Leftatforty on said:

    Fat, blond, jeans and sweatshirts wearing very red lipstick?? Where do you find these people?

  10. Being unfeminine is separate from being older. I’ve been with lots of girls in their early 20s who were frumpy, “plain”, and the “jeans-and-T-shirt” kind. I didn’t like them at all even though their age was supposed to make them attractive. In contrast I’ve seen women in their 40s and even 50s who were very feminine and glamorously dressed – slim, stylish, and wearing heels and jewelry.

    • P Ray on said:

      Maybe the women became feminine in their older age to secure a relationship,
      and the younger ones weren’t because they didn’t have to try too hard.

      Plus the older women had somebody elses’ money to play with.

    • I wear skirts and dresses now although I didn’t really when I was younger. Its only when I started wearing them and got positive feedback that I began to realise that men even noticed and had a view on what I wore. I thought it was just women that did that.

  11. William on said:

    I think woman want the choice of being feminine or un-feminine to not hinder them in finding a mate.

    • P Ray on said:

      I’m willing to bet they’ll be unfeminine to guys they’re not attracted to, and
      VERY feminine to guys they are.
      Therefore the jealousy plotline will work very well on such women.

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