The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “March 16, 2012”

For Women – A Player Test

At the risk of incurring the wrath of my fellow Manosphere bloggers, I am going to give a method to women for determining if a man is a player or not. This only applies when a women meets a man out in the real world – bar, party, event, even on the street. Yes, it’s a test and Manosphere guys loathe these kinds of tests.

Here is the scenario…

A man starts a conversation with a woman who is single. It’s an innocuous chat but the woman is feeling an attraction for the guy. She can’t quite figure out why but there’s just something about this guy that sparks her interest. Perhaps it’s his witty comments, his confidence, his posture, his looks, even the tone of his voice. With the subtlety that only a woman can master, she notices that there is no wedding on his finger.

The conversation continues and gets just a bit more personal. They find out what each person does for a living, how many kids they each have, where they each were born. The man then asks for the woman’s phone number or suggests that they go have a drink. The woman is secretly thrilled yet shows nothing. She should be thinking “This guy started the conversation, What if he’s a player? Maybe he’s one of these pick-up artists who just wants a sexual encounter and nothing more?”

To any woman who finds herself in this situation (and who doesn’t just want a sexual encounter), here’s what she must ask, verbatim:

“What if I told you I was seeing someone?”

A man of good character will back off. He might apologize. He might just say “too bad”. He might even compliment the hypothetical boyfriend as “lucky fellow.” Regardless, he’s respecting the woman’s current, if mythical, relationship. This guy is a keeper.

The next phrase the woman must state is equally important:

“Well, I didn’t say I was seeing someone so here’s my phone number… What’s your number?”

If a woman finds a keeper, she has to make sure he’s not going to run away. Getting his number is crucial and sends the strongest of interest indicators.

In response to that question, the player will simply not care. He will continue on, not respecting that the woman might be seeing someone or is even in a relationship. “I’d still like your phone number.”, “Come on, it’s only a drink”. Players don’t understand boundaries.

Let’s go back to the original test question. It’s worded like that because it only implies she’s seeing someone and the woman can quickly backpeddle only slightly once the guy has passed the test. The “I have a boyfriend” test is too strong and a good guy will be put off when the woman tries to backpeddle from such a direct lie. Women of good character don’t lie so blatantly, good guys can recognize this.


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