The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “February 11, 2012”

A Huge Dating Secret For Women

While I’m not exactly sure what “successful” dating is for women, I do know that many women simply loathe the dating process, that they have to “kiss so many frogs in order to find my prince”. Well, I loathe that analogy because it smacks of emotional pornography but I’ll play along for now.

A comment (from P Ray) on one of my posts led me to this secret for women who hate the dating process. Here’s the comment:

When you date a woman, you are also dating her friends, since they will spill all the details to them before they get the “go-ahead” for date #2.

Approval by committee, basically.

This is a huge reason why women don’t do well with dating and keeps going through men. Not only is she looking for reasons to reject the guy, her friends are doing the same on her supposed behalf. There is a whole panel of judges with gavels poised, all too ready to give the guy the verdict of “dump him!” This does not apply to family because, in theory, family is looking out for you. Exceptions to family apply, of course.

With this in mind, here is the huge secret:

Ladies, never speak to your female friends about your dating endeavors. Don’t mention a good date. Don’t mention a bad date. For all they know, you’re just a busy single woman. This is extremely important. Your friends – especially your single friends – are not likely looking out for your best interests. Those female friends are tending to their own emotional needs first and seek that your dating failures simply validate their own failures. “Oh, he’s not right for you, you deserve only the best.”

The urge to tell dating stories is strong. Even if your friends pester you mercilessly, it will take ferocious will power to clam up about meeting a potential paramour and how great it was. It will take even more will power to remain silent about disastrous date with the nerdy accountant who didn’t create any vagina tingles because he brought you flowers on the first date. Oh, and don’t even think about blogging about it or writing to a blue pill dating advice “expert”.

In short, as in Fight Club, don’t talk about dating. The scenario should be that your female friends are shocked when you introduce them to your new man. Now the real strength comes into play. Those friends may try to sabotage the new relationship.

So in addition to finding the good in men, a woman must have the resolve to be utterly discreet about dating. Here’s a hint to help: pretend that every date was a scandalous one night stand that you couldn’t even tell your closest friend.

You’re welcome.

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