I’ve been corresponding with a reader who is doing some good work on improving his dating skills. He was castigating himself for talking too much and revealing too much when on the phone with his current or potential dates. To help him limit his phone time, he now sets a timer (his workout timer) to remind him to not get carried away with the phone gabbing. That’s a great idea.
As I read that, I got to thinking about the timer that most of us already have – the stove timer. At the beginning of the call, set the kitchen timer for ten minutes or so. If the guy is smart, the one timer can kill three birds.
1. When the timer goes off, the guy knows when to wrap up the call. How he does that is up to him but setting up the date is the goal of the call. If no date, an opportunity has been sadly wasted.
2. If the timer is loud enough and the fellow stays in the kitchen during the call, the women will hear the buzz (or ding) when the ten minutes is up. This is beneficial because it sends the message that the guy knows how to cook and all men should be handy in the kitchen. If he’s clever, he’ll confirm it. “Oh, the [insert the name of the dish here] is ready, let’s set a date and time for our date.” Once done, he can exit the call gracefully.
3. If the fellow is even more clever, he’ll drop the line that he’s expecting company.
“I have people coming over for dinner, I have to get this out of the oven before they arrive.”
This is the man providing his own social proof. While I understand that this is most likely a white lie, but perhaps the fellow in question does have people over sometimes, just not exactly at the moment of that phone call.
While it might seem a bit rude to call a woman knowing he doesn’t have much time, consider also that a man who is busy is also a man with an active life, an attractive trait in a man. It sends the subtle message that the woman would be joining his life and not vice versa.