The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

I See How This Works – Part 1

A middle-aged fellow is having a libation at an upscale bar and restaurant in a big city. It’s about an hour or so after work and the place is rather full with a white collar, professional crowd in attendance. The protagonist is sitting at the corner of the bar.

A reasonably attractive, early 40s-looking woman sits next to the protagonist but as the bar has a corner, she’s 90 degrees to him. She orders a cosmopolitan and then proceeds to dig her cell phone from her purse to look at it with a hopeful expression on her face. Then a brief and darker look crosses her face.

Our protagonist, an observant fellow, notices that the woman isn’t wearing a wedding or engagement ring. He also notices that her hair is down and her very red lipstick is quite fresh. He glances down and sees high heels that are too tall for work and a skirt that ends just above the knee. Her well-cut jacket covers her blouse so he can’t see what she might be wearing there.

The woman looks up from her cell phone and sips her pink drink and then sighs almost imperceptibly while looking away from the protagonist. She looks back to her drink and the phone.

He finally speaks to her.


The woman looks up at him, almost puzzled.

“Oh… cheers” She raises her drink glass and has a sip.

“Pity about your date being cancelled.” He says flatly.

“Do I know you?” The woman has an expression of surprise and wariness.

“Not at all, but I can tell your date cancelled.”

The woman regards him carefully for just a moment, as if assessing a threat.

“How did you know I was even supposed to have a date?”

The protagonist sips his drink – an imported draft beer – as a way of pausing. He then looks at her directly.

“Your heels and skirt are too high for work, your lipstick is also too red for work and it’s fresh. You’re not wearing a wedding or engagement ring, that means you’re single. You were supposed to have a date.”

The woman leans back to look at the protagonist. She raises one eyebrow.

“I could be here to pick up men, did you ever think of that?”

The protagonist smiles wryly.

“We both know there are better places in town for that.”

The woman crosses her arms in front of her and almost glares at the protagonist.

“OK smart guy, how did you know my date was cancelled?”

The protagonist continues.

“You checked your phone as soon as you got here. You had a hopeful look at your face and then you saw something you didn’t like. Probably you got a text just as you entered this place and waited to sit down before you checked it. Also, it’s five minutes past 7:00 so it’s likely you had plans to meet at 7:00. He’s not standing you up because you would be looking like you were anticipating something.”

The woman glares at him.

“What are you, Sherlock Holmes? I don’t think I like this conversation and I think you’re kind of rude.”

She looks around the bar and sees that no empty seats are available. The protagonist calmly takes a sip of his beer.

“I know I’m rude, I’m actually rather good at it.”

“You know you’re rude?” This remark surprises her. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Should I continue?”

“You might as well.” The woman lets out an exasperated breath of air.

“OK…you’re not here to meet friends or colleagues because you would have tried to get a table or they would have already been here. I’ll even go out on a limb here… this was supposed to have been your fourth, no, your fifth date with this guy.”

As the protagonist talks, the woman leans in and opens her mouth slightly. Her stare at him is unblinking.

“Fifth date and have you been following me or something? This is really creepy.”

The protagonist sips his drink again.

“Nope, not following you. I have better things to do.”

The woman leans back and opens her eyes widely. The protagonist doesn’t react to her expression. He reaches his hand towards her.

“I’m Douglas.”

The woman reluctantly extends her hand.


“Well, now that we’re not total strangers, should I go on?”

“No, I think you should stop.”

“Fair enough. Pity about your date.”

“Yeah, I know.” Claire turned and sipped at her drink and then turned back to Douglas. “He didn’t even say he’d contact me later, just said he couldn’t make it tonight. He didn’t even apologize. I was about to text him back.”

“It won’t do any good.”

“No? Why is that?” She looks both surprised and crestfallen.

“If he were serious about seeing you again, he would have texted that he would call later or for you to call him, or something like that.”

Clair looks at her drink pensively.

“I had high hopes.”

Douglas smiles thinly.

“We all do, even at our age.”

“Why do men do that?”

“Because we can.”

At this, Claire looks almost angry.

“This conversation is making me uncomfortable. I don’t even know you except for your name.”

Douglas leans back on his bar stool. He crosses his arms.

“Do you want the truth about men and women? I figured out your situation in about minute, I have more to say.”

Claire looks away. Then she looks back at Douglas.

“This is going to be uncomfortable.”

Douglas doesn’t smile.


[For Part 2, click here]


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11 thoughts on “I See How This Works – Part 1

  1. Good shit. You’re up even later than I am. Manosphere insomnia.

  2. blazefrazier on said:

    Absolutely captivating writing.

  3. flyfreshandyoung on said:

    And douglas aka @man_private gets the bang yaaa??????

    Her tingles could be felt here in bumfuck

  4. Never give women dating advice: they think they are the masters of that, and will make trouble for men who point out they are being stood up, or won’t deal further with them:
    Somewhere on heartiste:
    “True story. Just happened last week. I was in a Seattle bar having a conversation with an attractive petite woman. 15 minutes into the conversation I asked her if she had children, she answered back that she had two but was not married. I told her that I was single with no children and only felt comfortable dating women with those qualities. I thanked her for the conversation and excused myself. Ten minutes later the doormen/bouncers of the club asked me to leave because I was harassing a female patron (the woman I politely excused myself from). God only knows what she told them- I just left as there were not any good prospects in the bar anyways- I was out to meet women for dating – and found a bar with a better selection.

    Not only should one not date single mothers- but be sure to have a witness available for ANY exchanges you might have with one. They are a particularly venomous lot.”

  5. I don’t hesitate to give women dating advice. Nine times out of ten they don’t hesitate to dismiss me as a cretin and a misogynist who doesn’t know the first thing about women, what they want, or how they want to be treated. I couldn’t possibly have any clue about women.

    Then I point out to them that I’ve been happily married for fourteen years to a woman who literally cannot shut up about how great I am, while they’ve gone through a succession of failed relationships and doomed hook-ups with an assortment of men, and I agree that yes, I have NO IDEA how to treat a woman, how to attract a woman, how to keep a woman happy. I’m merely male, after all.

    But the other one-out-of-ten, the one who’s just desperate enough to actually pay attention to what I say and listen to my advice? They profit from it greatly and often end up in good, stable long-term relationships with decent guys. Maybe not Prince Charming material, but it’s better than not having a date for Valentine’s day.

    I have to admit — it’s more fun expounding words of wisdom to the jaded and cynical, have them snort in derision, and then repeat the same fracking mistakes over and over again, but it’s almost as much fun as explaining Birds and the Bees – Red Pill Edition — to a hopelessly romantic woman who still thinks her fading looks and “strong, independent” personality are going to attract that perfect rich handsome Alpha. Either they stomp off in disgust or they wise up and take a second look at their failed strategies and start repairing the damage.

    Guys, on the other hand . . . I believe we have an obligation to help younger men with their Game, to pass on the nuggets of wisdom and life strategies that have made our lives better. Once we had tribal elders who disseminated this information in a ritualistic manner to prepare a youth for manhood. Now we throw him the car keys and a condom and hope for the best. Just imagine a whole new young generation of smart, savvy men who understand Game and the intricacies of feminine psychology. It’d be like having superpowers.

  6. The Geographer on said:


  7. Simon Rierdon on said:

    Good stuff PM, I hope that this scenario really happened. Can’t wait for the conclusion.

  8. quarterlifedc on said:

    I started taking dating advice from men after a hard breakup. I don’t think women naturally gravitate toward straight men for dating advice, it’s usually something that comes as a result of some event like a breakup.

    I wanted to better understand what happened, without becoming bitter or making myself out to be a victim.

    And that is how I found this blog and others like it…I stuck around because the ideas actually made sense.

  9. Aarrgghh! I hope there is only 1 more part. Too interesting to forget but waiting for the end drives me nuts.

  10. Yea agreed.This plot has me intrigued.

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