The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “December 20, 2011”

Helpful Hint For A Woman’s Online Dating Profile

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[This post has persistence. With that in mind, here are three other posts that directly addresses some of the dating challenges that women face: A Dating Exercise For Women, the Amazing Follow-up,  and A Huge Dating Secret For Women. Enjoy]

I read so many online dating profiles that I get dizzy. The vast majority of women’s online dating profiles are completely and utterly generic: Walks on the beach, shopping, I’m fabulous, I love my dog, no games, family and friends are important. This goes on ad infinitum and ad nauseam. Such generic text does not speak well of a woman’s sense of honest introspection.

Worse, the photos are simply awful. Bad photos tell men that the woman really isn’t making much of an effort. Advice? Professional photographs. I mean that. Who is telling women that men are not visual? Is Oprah or Dr. Phil telling those lies? Someone needs a clue-by-four upside the head.

It’s been said over and over again: Women must bring something to the dating and relationship table if they want something more than just a short-term fling. Women are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The flip side of that is that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. In the long run, men hold the relationship power (most of them just don’t know it).

With this in mind, a good online dating profile must clearly spell out what a woman offers to her potential paramour and candidate for a committed relationship. Here’s another huge mistake that a woman makes – she describes herself in terms of what she wants in a man. This is where the strong and independent fallacy takes shape. A woman wants a strong and independent man so she incorrectly believes that a man wants a strong and independent woman. That is completely wrong. Men want a feminine women but one who is resilient and self-reliant. The feminine attracts the masculine.

As men are rational and logical creatures regarding dating, a woman should specifically state what she offers in terms of what a man actually wants. A list is not the stuff of romance unicorns and rainbows. But a woman must consider her audience. Logic and reason are masculine qualities and a woman must communicate to such an audience with her profile.

I’ll make it easy for the women with an example and format to use. My comments are in brackets. These are only examples. If a woman wants to use this example, she best do a serious inventory of what she offers a man.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Would Be Your Best Girlfriend Ever:

10. You will see me wearing sexy lingerie more than “comfortable” undies. [I think this is fairly obvious.]

9. You won’t hear me nag and complain because I don’t sweat the small stuff. [Men loathe nagging and complaining. It’s sandpaper on our eardrums and on our brains.]

8. You will be proud to have me on your arm when we go out in public and your friends will probably be envious. [Dresses, skirts, high heels makeup, and good hair. A man wants to take pride in the woman on his arm.]

7. You will never, ever compete with me. [Men compete with each other, not the woman in his life. competitiveness is a masculine trait.]

6. You will be nicely surprised when I kiss you passionately at unexpected times and in unexpected places. [Affection helps to bond a man to you.]

5. You will never see me roll my eyes at you when you say something because I will respect you. [Men want respect and even small signs of disrespect will drive a man away from you. Try that shit in public and I advise the man to walk away immediately without regret.]

4. You will see my smile far more often than my frown. [Negative feelings are mostly unnecessary drama for men. As the Swedes say about a good woman – she should be happy, horny, and grateful]

3. You will find yourself thinking seriously about my observations on life and current events. [Many men won’t well tolerate a woman who only knows shopping and reality TV.]

2. You won’t be holding my purse at the shoe store. You won’t even BE at the shoe store with me. [Do you see that bored chump in the shoe store holding his girl’s purse? ‘Nuff said.]

1. You rarely, if ever, hear these awful words: “I’m not in the mood”. [Deny sex too often and he will deny or break his commitment. Go ahead ladies, try it. If he still sticks around anyway then you will quickly learn to loathe him.]

Notice how these statements are structured with the personal pronoun “you” leading each one. The emphasis is on the guy, not the gal. An entitlement princess would never write such things. This kind of list should lead the profile to show what the woman offers in the context of dating and relationships.

As for the rest of the profile, that advice will come later. Let’s just say it isn’t a list of demands but a more creative way of expressing a woman’s preferences in a man.

Final Note – Consider the services of a professional dating coach. Seriously, I mean that.

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