The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “December 5, 2011”

Take His Side

There are times when a man – as a friend or close relative of several women – will be on the receiving end of her complaints about husbands and boyfriends. Women do love to wax eloquently and negatively about the men in their lives. It’s perfectly natural but can be tedious for the male friend or relative who has to listen to the whining. I found myself in this position recently when I was talking to the ex-girlfriend from whom I had acquired my dog.

The ex is one of those assertive, almost demanding kind of women who expects everyone to follow her wishes. Is it any wonder why she’s an ex girlfriend? She was quite frustrated that her new boyfriend wasn’t doing what she wanted regarding the pace of the relationship. It’s a bit complicated as there are his pre-teen daughters and an ex-wife who is possibly batshit crazy.

As the conversation progressed, I found myself talking Red Pill issues with the ex-girlfriend. I could see exactly what was going on and didn’t resort to my old, blue pill attitudes by defaulting to the “it’s always the man’s fault” . I was taking his side, not hers. Naturally, my ex became quite upset and was actually yelling with frustration. Her rationalization hamster was taking quite a beating, after all. I rather enjoyed the discussion.

In thinking about the interaction with the ex-girlfriend, I came to the realization that Red Pill men should almost universally support other men when women start complaining about their relationships. Many of you already do this so don’t change a thing. I strongly suspect that a large number of us still revert back to automatically supporting the woman’s side in relationship matters.

It’s easy to support an alpha man’s actions in regards to dating and relationships. There are exceptions, of course. Addictions, criminality, and poor mental health are the most obvious. I have started using this reply when a woman complains about her alpha man:

Well, he’s being a normal man and that’s what you find attractive, right?

Note the questioning nature of the comeback. It encourages the woman to consider why the man is attractive to her. Using the word “normal” serves to reinforce the point that alpha behavior is to be expected. If she continues on with her nattering complaints, shut her down with this:

You could always date women.

Unfortunately, it’s in a woman’s nature to complain. Having an ear for her to bend is not necessarily a bad thing, but only in very controlled moderation. Using the Red Pill mentality when dealing with her relationship complaints can actually have benefits:

1. Cupcake might actually learn a thing or two.

2. You probably won’t be on the receiving end of such future complaints because she knows that her feelings and actions won’t be automatically validated.

It’s a lot harder to defend some beta wuss who’s being a complete relationship chump. I hate hearing such stories because I remember all too well my previous life as that beta wuss. My empathy makes me reluctant to recommend dumping the chump yet that type of relationship is well doomed.

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