The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

What Are You Really Good At?

This is my shortest blog post to date.

It’s a bit disappointing that my post about the confidence sub-routine hasn’t gotten more attention. You men looking to learn Charisma should read it. Read it again. When you’re done, answer the following question:

 What are you are really good at?

 If you don’t have a clear and brief answer, you’re not ready to learn Charisma with women. Please go away until you have mastered an activity that gives you pride and a true sense of accomplishment.

That activity must be something that you are truly passionate about and have nothing directly to do with attracting women or impressing anyone else but yourself.

You’re welcome.


Single Post Navigation

23 thoughts on “What Are You Really Good At?

  1. johnnymilfquest on said:


    • You wouldn’t know a dangling participle from a gerund. Tosser.

      But you’re a Twitter madman, dang. Put the cell phone down and go chase some skirts.

      • johnnymilfquest on said:

        Ha ha! That’s grammar privateman.

        Good grammarian =/= good writer.

        FWIW, I don’t even possess a smartphone. I’m just glued to my laptop.

        Telling me to chase some skirt is all very well, but you said.

        “That activity must be something that you are truly passionate about and have nothing directly to do with attracting women or impressing anyone else but yourself.”

        If you hadn’t added that caveat, I would have said “club dancing”.

      • There’s an interesting feedback loop once a guy practices and is successful with his Charisma with women. It seriously strengthens the confidence sub-routine to the point where a guy can answer the question with “I’m really good with women.”

        I’m not addressing those guys.

      • johnnymilfquest on said:

        Ahhh okay.

        But I still consider myself very much a noob with the ladies. I make rookie mistakes all the time.

  2. Lol I think this’ the shortest post I seen from you.

    This is a good question for many guys to ask themselves.

  3. I am really good at making people laugh, whether as a raconteur or in my writing. I love to write, and posted over 240 essays over at One Bronco nation until I got pissed because the are a bunch of pussies.I now post at complete with videos of the movies, fights, historical figures I reference.You’ve gotten a taste of it here, but it ain’t nothing. When the mood strikes, I love to dance, but I need just the right chemical balance to do it. I love to read ‘cuz you can’t write if you don’t read.

  4. I could not give 5 shits about charisma with women. I have been married for 30 years, monogamous with her for 3 more; she is the only woman I want, need, am aware of. I write here because I believe it is the tip of a new era, bold but not yet formed, and I want to be a part of it. I am admittedly drawn to the meretricious and this satisfies a certain element of that. Finally, and most importantly, I am the sworn enemy of ANYTHING that promotes, directly or indirectly, the selling of furniture and believe I have found like spirits here and by joining with them we can bring about my ultimate goal which is nothing less than the complete and total collapse of Western Civilization and, should there be any other civilizations worthy enough to be considered for destruction, them too.

    I am not aware of any, unless you count shit like Native American tom-tom music, with inane words like “come little bird come”, which people with perfectly straight faces compare with Mozart and Beethoven (horseshit). Or any other one for that matter. Why do people want to pretend that assholes that hadn’t even invented the wheel are on a par with a culture that went from internal combustion engines to the moon in less than a century and a half?

    Have I made myself clear?

    BTW this is what I’m good at or at least passionate about; I don’t know what the fuck it is,but it sure impresses me, and I doubt a single scum bucket bitch would have a clue or would even pay attention: once she heard the word “furniture” she’d drift off thinking about some fucking Black Friday sale, the miserable cock sucking whores.

  5. just visiting on said:

    I’ve been suggesting that post to a friend of mine to read. (Yes, I realize that you had men in mind when writing it, but it might get through to her in a way that I can’t.)

    She has notes stuck all over the place as daily affirmations. This is supposedly to help her gain confidence. She constantly complains of low self esteem due to a bad relationship with her mother. She starts things but never finishes.

    I told her to forget about self esteem, it’s something that happens to you. (eg. I have low self esteem because my mother hated me.) It’s passive. Concentrate on self respect. It’s active and something that you can build through discipline and application. You can’t build confidence with sticky notes. Real world application and mastery is the only way.

    She’s not too happy with me right now. Probably should have shown her the post and kept my big mouth shut.

    • This is interesting as the posts on confidence were written specifically for men. I really don’t know how mastery of an activity would affect a woman’s confidence. Being only partially tongue in cheek, I would recommend that your friend master femininity. Hmmmm, “master femininity”… getting close to a funny oxymoron.

      • just visiting on said:

        For a lot of women, unless they get real core confidence in order, they can’t even begin to be feminine. They default to the masculine. They see this as being strong, and if they have key areas where they are not feeling strong, these masculine traits become exagerated. Seriously, some of the most damaged women you will ever meet are hard core feminists. Not suprisingly, they view the feminine as weak and powerless.

        The self esteem vs self respect is particularly important for women because they seem to fall into victim hood mentality easier than men. For many, it’s a built in excuse for problems but it can become an identity. For men, this would be embarrassing and unacceptable. For women, it becomes attention. In some cases, the only attention they will get. Reframing things from passive self esteem to active self respect weans them away from becoming addicted to victim hood. It also gets them to put things into their own hands, including their own happieness. Mastering something also requires discipline, which is usually in short supply with someone with victim mentality. This is probably the key. Though I’m not a shrink, I’ve received enough late night tearful calls to form my own opinions. YMMV.

      • just visiting on said:

        I should also add that it’s not the accomplishment that’s important. It’s too easy to start filling the holes and gaps with such thing. It’s the frame of mind that comes with it.

  6. What am I good at? Uuhhh…..Uuuuuhhhh…….

  7. This sort of questions depress me because I’m forced to admit that I’ve been such a slacker most of my life that I haven’t become good at anything, even though I’ve tried tons of things (music, dancing, arts, you name it)

    Thankfully, I’m good at something: languages. I speak four, and I learned them effortlessly. At least I have that. If I didn’t I’d be going crazy right now. Besides, I learned to speak all these languages almost by accident.

    But anyways, your post has made think deeply about the state of my life. I’m quite young -22- and it’s now or never to really become good at something.

    • You’re only 22?!

      Shit, you have a whole lifetime to master some seriously interesting things. Languages, by the way, are a good start. But as you are in Europe, that’s not so much of a big deal as it would be here in the United States.

      Stop slacking, go do something.

      • Thomas V. Munson on said:

        You said should post in other blogs? Like who? Plus I’m wondering about the hookingup blog. When i read theprivateman, all the entries appear legit. Some are a little prolix, but it seems straight. Over at hook, a lot read liek those bullshit letters in Playboy forum etc where professional staff writers amke up all this lurid, welll written, basic soft porn that they pawn off as real. It read that way. If you say they’re on the up and up tpm, I’ll buy it-you’ve got cred. Has anyone else ever noticed this?

      • Hooking Up Smart is 100% completely legit and the vast majority of comments are also legit.

        As for other places to read and comment, look at my blog home page, you’ll see a list of list of links under the name of Evil Patriarchy. ALL those blogs/websites are 100% completely legit. Under the Evil Patriarchy list is an even longer list of Other Good Blogs and those are worth looking at.

        Just remember that you need to practice some law to keep the money flowing in. The Manosphere is addictive.

      • Thomas V. Munson on said:

        BTW tpm I ma already a little famous. Look up “munson’d” At urban Dictionary and you’ll see the ref to my OBNUG days; I posted until the became pussies.

  8. AnonymousDog on said:


    I have to question whether there is/can be any direct link between being “being really good” at one or more particular thing(s), and the kind of social confidence that you are asserting to be a component of “charisma”.

    Over the years, I’ve mastered a number of different skills, but I’ve noticed that regardless how important to my livelihood they were, or how passionate I was about them, if they weren’t the kind of skill that could be “performed” in the presence of others, they didn’t add much to my “charisma”. In other words, if I have to point out my mastery of those skills to others, it’s tough to use them as confidence builders.

  9. Lavazza on said:

    I am really good at sitting still meditating in the lotus position and doing yogic breathing exercises.;-)

  10. Solving problems.

  11. Writing.
    Sex. (Yes, I don’t just want it, I’m good at it.)
    Brilliant insights on complicated systems

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: