The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The Accidental Entertainer – Don’t Be Him

Women hate being bored. They hate boredom almost as much as they hate beta NiceGuys™. This goes doubly for young women enthralled with the freedoms of post college/university and prior to baby rabies. This cohort of women is seeking constant entertainment through socializing, shopping, concerts, alpha cock, etc. There is no downtime for these sassy young things because downtime might result in that dreaded boredom. Queue the scary music: Dum dum…. DUM!!!!

A fellow with Charisma must be aware of this so he can avoid becoming the accidental entertainer. This is when a girl is paying attention to him merely because she’s being entertained. There is no attraction to the guy, there is just some girl who doesn’t want to be bored and is presented with a funny and interesting guy who can help her kill some time.

This is strongly related to the “Dance, monkey, dance” concept that has sometimes (not enough) been raised in Manosphere, PUA blogs. Keeping a girl entertained does not necessarily mean she’s attracted to the entertainer. It helps, to be sure. But a constant stream of words just to keep her entertained is a supplicating thing to do. Yes, she’ll tell all her friends about the really funny or interesting guy she met and yes, she’ll likely enjoy being in the accidental entertainer’s company. Just know that she will always think of him as the entertainer and nothing more. Being the accidental entertainer is often as sexless and intimacy-free as the FriendZone™.

A man with Charisma will know to throttle back on the entertainment and shift over to confident aloofness. This sends the strong message to the girl(s) in question that the man is not simply about cheap and convenient entertainment.

In the presence of women, a man shouldn’t be a wretched clown all the time. It’s demeaning to the man and sets him up to be the accidental entertainer.

Here’s the biggest challenge to men learning Charisma – that confident aloofness must be a completely natural expression and not done as a step from some instruction manual. What the anti-gamers have rightfully pointed out is that when something regarding Charisma doesn’t come across as completely natural, it becomes an awkward choreography of feigned dominance that ultimately comes across as devastating supplication. In other words, “pussy-begging”.

PUt directly, a man has to work on himself before he can go forth into the dark, savage lands of the modern, feminine landscape.

And for you dames…Woman Up!

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13 thoughts on “The Accidental Entertainer – Don’t Be Him

  1. So true, and being FriendZoned is the worst of all female insults, – being accused of being a bastard is really a compliment: means she is interested – indeed when a woman claims that Johnny or Freddie is her friend it is usually the case (assuming that she is not hiding a fuck-buddy) that she has no interest in him at all. But boredom, the dreaded boredom, – showing that a woman is quite unable to entertain herself and is thus as maleable as a five year old, is to be avoided. Amuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, is quite literally what one ex used to say. She was bored, and with me – well I am only human – and I guess my interests, outside of sex, that is, meant nothing to her. She went on to greener or at least less boring pastures – thank god.

    • I think the worst of female insults is to be told that you are a social misfit, or something that suggests that you are socially inept.

      • You mean ‘creep’ don’t you, or even better, ‘weirdo and freak’; but these are the only insults a woman seems to have. Doesn’t mean she is not interested though. I am sure Salome would have described John the Baptist in those terms, but she could not get enough of him. As you say below, most women are boring and most seem to lack a sense of humour. Insult is their last card to play, and is the equivalent of a male lapsing into obscenities.

  2. I had not developed any kind of sense of humor in HS and was considered boring. Then I figured out women love a sense of humor, so I went overboard in college, trying to make women laugh like a trained monkey. It made me look weak.

    At this point, because I’m not so interested in woman’s attention, I really don’t care if I’m funny or not anymore. I use humor to lighten a social situation or as a tool to open up conversation because I think maybe someone wants to chat, but not as a tool to amuse women.

    Women really do act like 5 year olds when they insist that a man amuse them; these women need to be ignored. Besides, most women have no sense of humor to speak of, and are incredibly boring themselves. Why should a man entertain a dull women if she wont entertain back? If you are young, you entertain her mind so that she will entertain your body, but when you are older the later becomes less interesting as it is not entertaining to see a nude hefer hovering over you in bed.

  3. just visiting on said:

    I wish you’d written this post yesterday. I’m taking some heat at Rollo’s for suggesting something similar.

  4. This rings true. Every bar, every party, every gathering seems to have the court jester, the minstrel, the funny guy flapping his gums. He’s humorous but talks way too much and usually drinks too much. He’s also going home alone.

  5. Jester on said:

    I make a point of mailing women who have gone to the trouble of listing they want to be entertained (or similar idea) on their profile. Something like…
    “I would have liked to get to know you, but your expectation for me to perform in order to amuse you throughout a date is a complete turn-off. (FYI, most men do not find this attractive) You may want to consider the idea that if you get bored on dates, maybe it’s not the men you’re dating that are the issue.”
    50% of the time I get a scathing response. Big shocker there from the EP’s of the world
    10% of the time I get an “Oh, I wasn’t aware I was coming across that way.”
    The other 40% is complaints that men are boring and they’re not responsible for that. Why am I not surprised? lol

  6. You can entertain her (I usually do), but you must escalate quickly to gauge attraction. If I don’t see IOI’s in under 5 minutes….I’m gone.

  7. Dirt Man on said:

    Good stuff man, right on. One question though, you wrote,

    “A man with Charisma will know to throttle back on the entertainment and shift over to confident aloofness. This sends the strong message to the girl(s) in question that the man is not simply about “,

    but it looks like you didn’t finish that sentence, just curious what the rest of the thought was.

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