The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “October 17, 2011”

Some Texting Charisma

Note: I’m going to back away from the word Game and start replacing it with the word Charisma (with an uppercase C). After all, what better personality characteristic can a man learn?

Last week I had a date with the belly dancer who very recently moved here from Nebraska to pursue her post-divorce/kids grown up fantasy of living on the beach here in South Florida. She ended up about five miles inland in a somewhat sketchy neighborhood. No matter, she’s pursuing her dream. She’s a bit of an odd duck but not unattractive. She’s rather broad in the beam. Just a solid corn-fed Nebraskan gal, that’s all.

At the conclusion of our first date (it went very well), she did indicate that she would love to meet up with me again. Availability has been something of an issue for her as she was looking for a job (she’s a nurse, she found a job quickly) and exploring the scene here.  She’s not being flaky, just busy.

I’ve been using some Facebook Charisma with funny comments on her many posts. I’m not making too many comments, just a few excellent zingers here and there. We’ve also been doing the text thing.

Yesterday (a Sunday) we did a bit of back forth texting in the early afternoon. I made her laugh. I’m good at that. So with her laughing, I pitched the date idea:

Me: Come visit me in the village later today. [Never ask, just tell her what she should do!]

Her: I have plans at 3PM but maybe later? How late do you stay up on Sunday? [Counter offer, she’s doing it right]

Me: I have been known to be awake past 11PM, but tell no one.

Her: My lips are sealed!

Me: Text me after your plans. I will make a point to practice some hygiene. I am getting pretty good at it.

Fast forward to 7PM to this exchange of texts that occurred over a three-hour period. I wasn’t responding immediately as I was busy tending to  blog and Manosphere duties. She wasn’t responding immediately, either.

Her: Hey… hey… I am soaked [rain]… think I am going to pass on driving over to the village tonight. How about a rain check for Friday? [Ladies, this is how it’s done.]

Me: Friday works.

Her: Awesome!

Me: We’ll throw rocks at tourists. If we can find any rocks.

Her: Oh, you are such a little hooligan. Tourists are GOOD for our economy!

Me: Big hooligan. Get it right.

Her: Big ego, maybe! [shit test volley to me]

Me: Big? Massive, actually. [shit test volley back to her]

Her: Gargantuan!!!! [volley back to me]

Me: There are insufficient adjectives to describe my ego. I am comfortable with this. [Match point, Private Man]

It was late at this point so I went to bed. It turns out that she didn’t respond to my last text. Likely she was tired as well.

The take away lesson from this text exchange in the context of Charisma is that a man should never back down from a shit test. Keep amplifying. It should be noted that this vaguely hippie (and hippy), alt-culture woman stated very clearly during our first communications that she liked a man with swagger.

The other take away is that Nebraska belly dancer made good with the counter offers. This is an incredibly obvious way of showing interest towards a man. It’s so patently obvious and absurdly easy that a failure to counter should be viewed as disinterest. The man with Charisma knows to move on.

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The Vicious Cycle Of Misinformation And Lies

It goes something like this:

1. A new social expectation arises where women are suddenly supposed to be “strong and independent” (cough, feminism, cough). Some individual woman transform themselves into the StrongIndependentWoman™. This, of course, goes against their biological imperative.

2. Many men, in order to make themselves more attractive to women, proclaim their desire for a StrongIndependentWoman™. This, of course, goes against their biological imperative.

3. Other women, seeing those men proclaim their desire for a StrongIndependentWoman™, try to transform themselves to become a StrongIndependentWoman™. Biological imperative? ha!

4. Dating and mating ensues. Men are put off by the StrongIndependentWoman because she’s actually bossy and domineering. Women are simply confused. “Where are all the good men?”

By reviewing online dating profiles of both men and women, it’s easy to see this vicious circle in operation. It’s also a very sad thing to see.

This scenario can also apply to the social expectation for a man to be a Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG). Are women really attracted to this type of guys? Sure, as plantonic friends. As passionate and sexy lovers? Yeah, right.

If we allowed men to be men and women to be women, perhaps the gender war would be a mild skirmish. Men and women might be able to find happy and fulfilling relationships.

Woman Up.

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