The Private Man

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Woman Up

With the furor over William Bennett’s recent opinion piece decrying that men don’t voluntarily present their backs to master’s whip, it’s time to call upon women to Woman Up and deal with life like adults. This is not a call for women to act masculine. They do enough of that on the job and with the men in their life. This is the call for women to be more feminine.

Woman Up is the call for women to act like women, for them to embrace the positive elements of femininity. It’s hard to do after a long day at the office where feminine traits are not rewarded. Capitalism is a masculine endeavor with masculine traits rewarded the most. Read this post for the challenges that women face in this regard.

What is Woman Up? Those positive feminine characteristics?

  • A feminine appearance (yup, that was first, hooray feminine-looking women!)
  • Passionate (that means sexuality)
  • Nurturing
  • Soft
  • Supportive
  • Complimentary
  • Complementary
  • Pleasant
  • Not critical (huge!)
  • Flexible
  • Patient
  • Emotionally resilient (let go of the emotional manipulation, cupcake)

The most important element to woman up is the healthy willingness to accept the consequences of your actions and decisions with grace and maturity. No where in this list is strong and independent. In fact, none of the characteristics that lead to women being bossy and domineering are on that list.

It comes down to this – What a man wants in a woman is what he can’t get from his friends, his work, and his enthusiasms. Big secret for women: the feminine attracts the masculine.

Woman up.

You’re welcome.

See als0:

Woman Up, Reloaded

Woman Up, Revolutions

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70 thoughts on “Woman Up

  1. Wait a minute, “Strong and Independent” didn’t make the list here???

    • Excellent post and exactly what I’ve been telling women who ask. If you want a mutual “belonging scenario” with a guy, you’re going to have to stop pretending to be something you’re not – masculine-or kill off the part of your self that’s corrosive and poisonous. Shut your mouth unless you have something positive to say, don’t dump on your man, don’t expose him to your emotional roller coaster any more than necessary, be fit, be pretty and be stable. American women expect the world from men, but only a tiny percentage of them are worthy of whatever they get.

  2. Let them ‘women up’ completely and recognize the 80% of men they don’t recognize exist. Then they won’t ask, “Where are all the good men?”. They will say, “I only pursue and have sex with assholes.”

    • just visiting on said:

      If they women up, they wouldn’t pursue sex with assholes. That happens when women have too much masculine energy. I’ve never met a truly feminine woman who responded to asshole game. Alpha confidence and strength yes, asshole no.

      As for the 80%, display enough masculinity, and your odds increase. Though, it would be interesting to see how pua would change if women did embrace femininity.

      • Yes! Bingo!!

      • My son thinks I’m masculine enough and didn’t like my last girlfriend one bit. After a while, neither did I.

        I want women to recognize the mistakes they have made and acknowledge the things they have done wrong. I did it as offensively as possible because I am no longer concerned about their feelings and don’t believe they will change.

  3. Hey there PM!

    Thank you for what you wrote!
    I so appreciate to see, read and know you are doing your best to spread the word!

    I am a woman and truly believe in the art of femininity.
    However, I am a bit confused…it sounds as if there are some inconsistencies, or discrepancies in your post.
    If you do not mind, I want to ask you some questions and give you my thoughts behind them. 🙂 I hope this is ok..?

    What is nurturing, if not dominating? Like a mother to her child. She gives, protects and cherishes her child, even when the child would rather his/her own way, because mother knows things the child does not know. She teaches, preaches, corrects and disciplines.
    Does this not require some bossiness and some domination in a sense? Have ever been around children especially more than one?? It takes a firm hand or the children walk all over you.

    There is an enormous difference between nurturing a child and nurturing a grown man. Your words “admired, appreciated, and respected” are all part of nurturing a grown man. This question, however, is valuable in pointing out semantic differences regarding a word’s meaning and its connotations. As a writer, I need to constantly keep this in mind.

    How is one Emotionally Resilient if not on some level strong or independent? To truly be this a woman would have to be both because she would need to know how to control alls that goes on in her system. Women have a thicker bridge between brain lobes which causes her to mush her thoughts and feelings AND her body which has tons of oxytocin (a bonding hormone which men generally do not have much of until they are in their 50’s…when they are on estrogen.) Therefore they are more emotionally charged and so would have to use her left lobe more than her right lobe, left lobe logical & problem solving – masculine, right lobe emotional & creative – feminine.

    However, If you mean by not being run by her emotions or reactive and moreover not putting the responsibility for them on men, I suppose I can understand. But that would be more Emotionally Rational. And in being rational, she would first have to be aware of WHAT she is feeling. And then HOW to channel her feelings, rationally…which is what I teach women to do.

    But ultimately the two mentioned on your list sound more masculine to me than anything else and contradict the other items on your list.

    Read my post about “strong and independent” women. The problem lies in the ability to deal with emotions in a mature way. We expect this in all adults, no? Having the emotions is perfectly reasonable. Dealing with them becomes the challenge.

    A feminine woman is passive, patient and above all else, vulnerable, no?
    So then the problem women must have is this ongoing training that there is something WRONG with their emotions. So they join the boys; smoking pot, drinking, and experimenting with drugs. As you know, using anything makes everyone less inhibited. For women it knocks out their feelings and their emotions- which IS their radar for self-protection. Their emotions then would be necessary to help in the area of being “Emotionally Rational,” don’t you think?
    When they do not listen and are not present or clear to their emotions or feelings they just go with their hormones or other anxiety inducing chemicals which are not only misleading but are reactions.
    In every instant of my life I know where I have personally done this. And although not very romantic to be this scientific about things, the science has allowed for MORE romance.
    Total spontaneity produces chaos. Self-discipline allows for more spontaneity.
    Just ask anyone who has had shot gun wedding! 😉

    The other idea that women are supposed be nurturing to grown men, wreaks of problems as well. You cannot spell smother without mother.
    No, grown men do not need to be mothered/nurtured. Real men need to be admired, appreciated, and respected…and in doing so, they are given back to and their feelings are taken care of by their women.

    Again, it’s a semantic issue. See my comment above.

    Women just need to give back when a man gives to them. But not dollar for dollar ladies! Men give concretely, women give back abstractly.

    I concur.

    Man takes a woman out to dinner, she gives back smiles “yes, please’s” and a “thank you for a lovely time.”
    Man takes woman out to dinner 2 – woman gives smiles, thank you, maybe even a hug this time or allows him to kiss her.
    Man takes woman out #3 to really nice dinner and a show – woman gives back smiles, thank you’s, yes please’s, I would love that, I really appreciate, and maybe a great make-out session if there is chemistry.
    And then if the two of you are lucky (prepared and see opportunity), it will go down a lovely road of wonderful sex and intimacy.

    I’m not a big fan of dinner dates, but you’ve got the right idea.

    Smiles, laughs, affection and appreciativeness go a very long way.

    Again, I concur.

    • just visiting on said:

      I’m ducking now. Yikes.

      Nurturing for children has to involve dominance. Men require nurturing, but it’s submissive. No mothering, no smothering. Yes, admiration,appreciation and respect come into it. Nurturing is more service and loving orientated.

      The men on these boards have a different definition of what is meant by strong and independant. They liken it to bossy and domineering. I liken it to adulthood, the ability to control your own inner weather and the self discipline to live your life in a directed manner.

      I suspect that the men on this board will have a fit over the dating scenario you paint. But then, that’s why I think PUA would have to change if women “womaned Up”. They want soft receptive women that are vulnerable, without putting in time, resources or commitment. Doesn’t work that way. Hard women will be turned on by it. Soft women will be repulsed, and over time, hardened.

      • I suspect that the men on this board will have a fit over the dating scenario you paint. But then, that’s why I think PUA would have to change if women “womaned Up”. They want soft receptive women that are vulnerable, without putting in time, resources or commitment. Doesn’t work that way. Hard women will be turned on by it. Soft women will be repulsed, and over time, hardened.

        Prediction – more men will learn Game long before women figure out how to woman up. But as men adapt quite well, Game will adapt accordingly. With a society full of feminine women, future PUA blogs will teach men about “respect Game”.

      • Oh! I did not realize these men on here were like that. Thank you. I appreciate your clarification. So we are dealing with Peter Pans..gotcha!

        You are right then! Loved the way you wrote what you wrote esp in the last paragraph. Too true!

        Except…it is the woman’s job to take care of herself and not take anything less.
        A grown woman who requires men to be giving, protecting and cherishing with her, does not get hardened.
        She does not take it personally when men are not this way with her because she also knows that there are some very sick women out there who will take whatever they can get. So these men have been trained that this is how to treat women.
        These men have every right to think this is the way to go…just not with her.

        Also, the definition of nurturing that you mention that men need is still giving back (servicing) cooking dinner, cleaning house, shoulder rubs, (loving) kisses on the cheek for no reason, etc.

        I make a distinction because ALL words mean something. If we as a culture do not have clear definitions it is too easy to con-fuse people and that is quite probably the reason we have men and women complaining so much.

      • Oh! I did not realize these men on here were like that. Thank you. I appreciate your clarification. So we are dealing with Peter Pans..gotcha!

        There are no Peter Pans here. That term is just the thinly veiled shame of “Man Up” to sacrifice our needs for unappreciative and spoiled women. We’re the Red Pill contingent, fully mature, fully wise, and quite comfortable in how we look at the world and actively deal with it, especially in regards to dating and relationships. The blue pill is still in your system.

      • BTW, PM, I’m confused… I did not condescend to you, did I? :0/
        I do not see where if I had!

        I am actually in agreement with you.

        Manning Up– is it because it was written by a woman? I am not going to go through all your blogs for some time, but am open to hearing your thoughts.
        🙂
        But you made no mention of your thoughts on the diminishing Y syndrome.

        I suspect what you have here are many men who are clearly pissed.
        I do not blame them. They are right. But this generation of women were led to believe something that is not so…

        You are also correct that men will likely get their game going more than women will become feminine…women do not listen.

        I do not know what you mean by red or blue pills, btw.

  4. just visiting on said:

    Agreed.

    • just visiting on said:

      Um. agreed with PM. Potent E….Lord help you.

      • May Lord help us all.
        Read into the diminishing Y syndrome.
        Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys

      • Using Kay S. Hymowitz as a serious source in the Manosphere? Tell ya what, cupcake, read all my blog posts. Then read all the blog posts in all the blogs in my blog roll. Then get back to us. While you’re doing that, us real men will be passing out Red Pills to men all over the Internet. “Man Up” from Hymowitz… best laugh I’ve had all day.

      • just visiting on said:

        Potent E , the manosphere is a harsh reality for the woman who first stumbles upon it. I understand the Peter Pan analagy, but, if you can suspend jumping to conclusions you’ll find a deeper context. There’s a lot of pain, bitterness, resentment, and sorrow that’s been handed out to them by women. Divorce comes with some very specific mens rights issues. If a deeper understanding is going to be reached between men and women, we need to take a closer look at that pain. We also need to take a look at how our behaviour is impacting the dating, marriage, and societal arenas. Take a look at the lack of incentive that men have for society’s version of manning up. Indentured servant might be one way of looking at it.

        The manosphere is not for the faint of heart, and lord knows, I’ve done my share of arguing. Go through it, take some time to digest, and then start processing.

      • Then “just visiting” what were YOU saying?

        What type of men would you call these, as YOU said, “want soft receptive women that are vulnerable, without putting in time, resources or commitment?”

        They are definitely not a monk..who does not care for sex or money.
        They are definitely not real men…it sounds as if you would agree that is not an adult way of thinking.

        So that leaves Peter Pan or SugarDaddys…but SugarDaddys spend resources cuz they have to buy love and sex…so it cancels them out.

        I did not mean to offend – I ‘m stating more of a fact.
        Just like there are women that are Wendy’s & gold-diggers. So what?
        2+2=4 and I do not get upset at it.

        This “manosphere” I realize may be quite shocking to you…is not shocking to me.

        In fact, I agree with most of what I have read so far, albeit that I am new here.

        But I will fight for standing that words have meaning! Even if the meaning is different from culture to culture.

        And you can debate me on this…however, it may be a waste of time. 🙂

      • A proper rebuttal to Hymowitz.
        WHY the manosphere never spread this, is unconscionable.

        You’re welcome.

        http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/austin_500/586_why-women-are-hypocrits.html
        Page 1: Where Have The Good Women Gone?

        Why Men Don’t Want A Modern Woman
        At AskMen, we strive to be experts on all topics of concern to men. But sometimes expertise is no substitute for experience, which is when we turn to our readers. Do you have advice to help your fellow men become better men? Do you have unique knowledge or perspective that we should share with our 15 million monthly readers? Send us an email at editorial@askmen.com, and we may do just that.

        This week’s user submission is from Ian Lang, author of the ShitJayCutlerSays blog.

        In her Wall Street Journal article “Where Have the Good Men Gone,” Kay S. Hymowitz bemoans the “pre-adulthood” state of modern men in their 20s, characterizing them as aging frat boys who seek to indefinitely extend the college drinking and hookup culture. She attributes our reluctance to grow up to the uncertainty of men’s position in society brought on by (what else?) the rise in female socioeconomic status. According to Hymowitz, we’re spending our time playing video games and jamming with our band mates rather than buying houses and getting married, because with all of these driven, successful women around, we don’t have the incentive to be the providers society once groomed us to be. We responded to this hate-mongering and defended a man’s choice not to get married. What’s more, as a man who loosely meets her definition of a “pre-adult,” I have a question of my own: Where the hell have all the good women gone?
        Finding a good woman
        Gentlemen, once you’ve graduated from college and are well into your 20s, I encourage you to hit the singles scene and try to find a woman your age who can cook, manage her personal finances and has both the know-how and motivation to properly maintain a household. You’ll have better luck (and probably more fun) searching for nickels on a busy interstate. Now, before any female readers shout “misogynist,” think for a moment — the standard I’m imposing is no more sexist than the one being mourned by Hymowitz. Women, for all of their successes and achievements in the last 40 years, still want a man who’s ambitious, driven and capable of taking charge of his life and his relationships, because that’s what women have looked for in a man since the dawn of time. Well, guess what? What we look for in a woman hasn’t changed a whole lot either. We want someone who can support us emotionally, be a mother to our children and can keep the cave tidy while we’re out hunting woolly mammoths. Spending my free time drinking and playing Wii isn’t going to make me president any sooner than being chained to a desk 80 hours a week is going to allot you the necessary time to help our kids learn how to read.
        Traditional gender roles don’t apply
        The point is, we’re both doing the same thing. We’re taking advantage of the system to do things that our genders were unable to do before. The move towards a knowledge-based economy has affected both sexes equally, though in different ways. Our $60k+ diplomas give us a relatively high degree of clout, and as young professionals, we often find ourselves living in relative affluence far younger than our parents did.

        Discover why men don’t need women…

        Page 2: Men And Modern Women

        Whereas men once worked their lives away in factories with little to show for it, we now have the means (both in terms of money and time) to pursue our dreams and hobbies. We’ve learned how to feed ourselves, dress nicely and are taking the time to catch up on the childish things that being a successful student just didn’t allow for. Modern men in their 20s are finally free to define themselves through their interests and pursuits rather than through their jobs — or their marriages. Our fathers did not have the same luxury. For women, it’s an entirely different story. Going out and starting a demanding, high-paying career is the new luxury. The same way men are no longer stuck making car parts for pennies an hour, women are no longer relegated to the kitchen or, at best, the typing pool. Modern young women are quick to define themselves through their careers because they were defined by the tastiness of their pound cake recipes for so long.
        Have another beer
        Hymowitz ends her essay with the following: [referring to young men] “Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There’s nothing they have to do. They might as well just have another beer.”

        I will, thanks.

        Look at it this way: If our lifestyles seem self-indulgent or selfish, so do women’s. If women want to define “growing up” for men as moving on to the next milestone in life and starting a family, we’re going to go ahead and define “growing up” for women as actually taking the time to learn some life skills that complement, rather than just multiply, our own and lend themselves to being part of a well-rounded rounded family unit. By that standard, women aren’t “growing up” any quicker than we are. Before women lament the lack of “good” men, they should consider that maybe the “good” ones don’t want them any more than they want the guy who spends his time screaming into an Xbox headset. Why should a man with his life together sacrifice his freedom for hard-driving women who seem so unwilling to sacrifice their materialistic demands? These women are enabling the very lifestyle among men that they decry.
        Separate but equal
        So, successful women of the world, go ahead and stay an hour later at the office. Drop off that grad school application on your way to the 24-hour gym. Why shouldn’t you? You have nothing else you need to worry about — no boyfriend or a social life. We don’t want you anyway.

      • Thank you, thank you, thank you P Ray!!
        I really appreciate the time you took to write that.
        I realize you did not have to. 🙂

        You are totally right!
        I completely agree with you.

  5. “There is an enormous difference between nurturing a child and nurturing a grown man. Your words “admired, appreciated, and respected” are all part of nurturing a grown man. This question, however, is valuable in pointing out semantic differences regarding a word’s meaning and its connotations. As a writer, I need to constantly keep this in mind.”

    Words ALL have meaning though. When a WOMAN hears nurture- she thinks of being a mother…I am telling you as a woman who has been what I thought was nurturing and who teaches women on this subject, they ALL think nurturing as in mothering. They do not know HOW to be without it.

    “Again, it’s a semantic issue. See my comment above.”

    Yes! But we are not saying potato (po-TAy-to), potato (po-tah-to), which are two different ways of saying the same thing!

    We are saying “nurture” (which is to give, protect and cherish FIRST without condition, but in hopes to get back) and then to “give back” (which is to give, protect and cherish in return, which is conditional, but does so in appreciation of the generousness.)

    I realize for men, being the logical ones, this is not a big deal…but I am telling you…for women, they need CLEAR definitions or everything gets mushed.
    🙂

  6. Strip8Tom on said:

    You mean “sassy”, “smart alecky”, and “tells it like it is” arent on the list?

  7. Where’s sarcastic and tomboyish? Just saying those words gets me all tingly thinking about women.

  8. just visiting on said:

    Potent E, I’d say that you’re dealing with red pill men. Peter Pan’s exist, but they haven’t come into their own power. That’s why they need Wendy’s to look after them. What you are observing are men who are very aware of their own power, and have worked toward developing that power. And they have no interest in handing that power over to women or society. At the very least, they’re going to ask what’s in it for them. As it stands, not much.

    If women are demanding hard alpha traits in the dating world, well, that’s what they’ve got. Not a lot of feminine women out there. Will PUA ‘s change their tactics if they come across such a creature. I suspect they’d have to. The thing is, the tactics they use work for the majority of the women out there. And that’s not saying much for women when assholery works over being the romantic nice guy.

    Marriage theft is a whole area of sexism that needs to be addressed. Seems women want to be treated like equals. Except when we don’t. Two thirds of divorce instigated by women. Hey, why not, sounds like a good deal. The house, kids, car, alimony, child support. Hey, I’m not happy. I think I’ll trade up. And yeah, I’ve seen this with my own two eyes. The disconnect. One woman I know accussed her husband of abuse because when he and the kids were playing with a ball , he bounced off her head. I’d like to say that such stories are rare, but you know and I know, they’re not. One only has to sit around with a bunch of women, friends or not, to start hearing how bloody victimized they are by the men in their lives.

    What you are seeing are men who are no longer willing to foot the bills of society if society does not value them.

    What you are seeing are men who have changed tactics to improve their odds in the dating world.

    What you are seeing are men who are unwilling to commit to marriage until the laws are equitable

    What you are seeing are men who wont dance monkey dance to give up their time resources and energy just because they’re men, and are expected to do so. And if they choose to do so, there had better be something worthwhile in return

    What you are seeing are men taking their power back. And they don’t need anybody’s permission to do so.

    • Look, to say this is all women’s fault would mean that it does not take two to tango.
      Just like a lot of really great men get over looked, there are a ton of women who do too because they are not pretty or sexy enough, or the right proportions.

      That is also not to say that there are not plenty of women that are all of these things that still cannot be happy…that is their plight…may God be with them and whoever marries them.

      But you men, I am assuming are looking for the diamonds, no?

      I do my best to help shape these lump of coals; these angry, hardened women to become diamonds.

      What about some personal responsibility for making a bad choice?

      This site would never let a woman off the hook for choosing an A-hole over you, right?

      I’ve chosen poorly in the past. I have just learned from it.

      I do not make my man whom I am with now pay the bill for the last guy.

      4 types of women:

      *The nun- nun money nun sex. Usually very fat or very thin. Any physical pleasure is a mortal sin/immoral.

      *The Wendy- she is nurturing, gives and protects and cherishes men. She works on overdrive for her relationship. She is over-giving and puts on weight after you marry her… and stops dressing pretty. What she does not understand is that you get your complement. So if she is doing all of the giving or cherishing, who is doing the receiving?

      *The Claw women – you know here, she knows the major sex organ of a man is his eyes. She lays you so fast both heads spin. She gets you addicted to her sex and then turns around and with her claw out says “gimme more” usually money. You deserved her!

      *The Anchor Woman – she is anchored in what is right or good for her. She says “no” to anything immoral, unethical or illegal. She does not give, protect or cherish any abled bodied human being over the age of 10 with her money or her sex, unless she gets what she wants and needs first. So no children over 10 get any money or hang out with friends unless they have done their homework and their chores. . No man gets any sex unless he is cherishing to her, not kissing her ass, just loving it!
      She also knows to be receptive, available to receive and respecting by following her man and keeping her mouth shut unless it is immoral, unethical or illegal.

      You may not like all of it…but we ALL have to take the good with the bad…so which poison do you want?

      • just visiting on said:

        Nope, I don’t buy into the “it’s all women’s fault ” either.
        Out of curiosity, what does your anchor woman bring to the table? You’ve told us what she ahem deserves. What does she bring?

      • What anonymous x says basically.

        The anchor woman, truly feminine, does not deserve anything.
        The feminine is worthy. The feminine is love-able because she exists. She has self worth and knows what her worth is. So, she does not put out for just anyone…he, ALL he’s, have to earn it. And there are women like this. (Note: I did not say every woman is an anchor woman.)

        If you do not think she is worth it, as bummed as she may be for a bit, because she really likes you, it is no matter. She will get over it. You clearly are not her man..thats is all.
        She respectfully accepts your decision. She will not chase you or try to convince you.

        She treats herself the way she expects to be treated…and takes nothing less.
        She IS sensual and sexual, but not just sexually.
        Sensual & sexual, meaning all of the senses – she looks, smells, sounds, feels and finally tastes good.
        She is passive, patient and vulnerable. So she does know to leave her man alone unless she direly needs something. (Needs not wants..)
        She is receptive, available and respectful even when she is not impressed, even if she is upset.
        She is respectful because SHE is a respectful person…not because the other person does anything respectable. Therefore, she is cherish-able and WORTHY of being loved, given to and protected.

        She respects the man she is with even when she knows she is smarter, and could do things better, if she wanted to…therefore she does not get into TP or have a BM session…teach, preach, bitch or moan, unless she has made appointment to do so with her man.

      • “The Anchor Woman – she is anchored in what is right or good for her.”

        So she’s expedient, and grabby? A woman who has no conception of doing right by the man she is with, isn’t very grateful to have him around.

        “She does not give, protect or cherish any abled bodied human being over the age of 10 with her money or her sex, unless she gets what she wants and needs first.”

        I’m finding it difficult to see the difference between her and a streetwalker. Wait … she gives sex to people aged older than 10? That’s a felony almost everywhere. On the other hand she may help the disabled with their sexual dysfunctions, so maybe that cancels things out?

        “No man gets any sex unless he is cherishing to her, not kissing her ass, just loving it!”

        You haven’t mentioned whether she actually _communicates_ with her man. Or respects him. Does “I love your ass” in public count?

        “following her man and keeping her mouth shut unless it is immoral, unethical or illegal.”

        It’s illegal to raise your voice against your spouse in France. Does her behaviour vary based on local laws? Has she downloaded music before, but hypocritically bashes her man for doing the same thing?

        You’ve provided a very interesting template, would you care to comment on some of these very vague assertions?

      • I would never fault a woman for dating assholes, as long as she is honest about what she likes instead of dating a jerk while lamenting the lack of good, nice men.

    • P Ray….

      It took me a long time to write what I wrote. If you do not mind…go back and read it again in it’s entirety, please.

      I do not even know where you got that an anchor woman would be expedient and grabby. I specifically said she is passive, patient and vulnerable. Now I am annoyed–this is business– read the business.

      The type of woman who is expedient and grabby is either a Wendy or a Claw woman.
      Wendy’s do it in hopes to deserve your love. The Claw does it in hopes to get your money.
      These women ARE masculine.
      Women who have to deserve, earn, win, seduce, intimidate or get you ARE MASCULINE.

      Sperm goes after the egg!!!

      “I’m finding it difficult to see the difference between her and a streetwalker. Wait … she gives sex to people aged older than 10? That’s a felony almost everywhere. On the other hand she may help the disabled with their sexual dysfunctions, so maybe that cancels things out?”

      You know what…sometimes the only difference between a wife and a prostitute is a blessing! And the prostitute gets a cleaner, more specific deal! She gets to go home, doesn’t have to clean up after you or kids.

      “You haven’t mentioned whether she actually _communicates_ with her man. Or respects him. Does “I love your ass” in public count?” – (Sure why not!)

      Helllllooo– yes I did! He loves her because she does communicate…respectfully. Copied & pasted from my post:
      “She is passive, patient and vulnerable. So she does know to leave her man alone unless she direly needs something. (Needs not wants..)
      She is receptive, available and respectful even when she is not impressed, even if she is upset.
      She is respectful because SHE is a respectful person…not because the other person does anything RESPECTABLE. Therefore, she is cherish-able and WORTHY of being loved, given to and protected.”

      I do not think I was vague at all…maybe not specific to YOUR life situations. But of course, I do not know what you are dealing with..

      P Ray– who have you been dating??
      We are always attracted to OUR complement.
      I would look at myself first if I thought I was with a hypocrite. Who am I being to cause this person to manifest in my life?

      I would never make an excuse for a woman being a hypocrite…but I also wouldn’t be too condemning. She too is human.

      Men sauter women’s sins on metastasized metal. While women write mens with magic marker on toilet paper.

      That is the problem with human beings… no one seems to want to make a change in themselves.
      It is easier to put the blame outside of yourself than do the work internally. It goes back to it being an inside job.

      Once you start doing work on yourself inside…taking responsibility..you will longer deal with individuals most of all, women, who do not. The price is too high…you have spent too much time and possibly money developing your core self. Which it seems to be what a lot of these men are saying…kind of…albeit in a bitter, jaded and vengeful SOUNDING way.

      • The idea that a man has to be “DATING” those types of women, is a huge myth.

        You have two eyes, you can observe OTHER men dating those types of women.

        I consider the woman I want to date, worthy of not having had the bad experience of dealing with a man who had to deal with such emotional fallout in person.

        First, the man is told he should date plenty.
        Then he gets blamed for having the unfortunate luck to be in touch with the deranged.
        Then he gets told it’s his problem.
        Hence why I observe. I DIDN’T date those women.
        So… what’s your “out” now, Ms. Freud? “You have to date to be sure”?

  9. anonymous x on said:

    In the keep it simple department, IMO, women just need to know at least these 3 things to be able to make a relationship with a man work. To the women:

    1) Know when to leave your man alone. This means allowing him his work, friends, family, hobbies, house projects, reading, websurfing, kids from previous marriage, etc., when done in moderation. It also means do not cut a man off from his friends or his family just because you are jealous of his time.

    2) Never nag, criticize or demean your man. This grates on his nerves like very few other things do and if it happens often enough, you will turn him against you. That is not to say let him roll over you, not at all. What that says is you can let him know how you feel and you can certainly encourage him toward better conduct. Just try not to nag him into it.

    3) Be physical with your man. This includes both affection and sex. A man will tolerate a lot in a woman if she is sexing him up often enough.

    • wingwoman on said:

      kids from previous marriage…OH hell no. I don’t need any of that. Never criticize etc…um no if you do something janky it behooves a person to say something instead of passively stewing over it. Don’t take it so personal when someone doesn’t like something minor and that’s a two way street. No one should be above reproach when they do irritating or disgusting things.Men often take everything as nagging because they stop listening . Thanks for the vague unhelpful advice dude. I don’t want a dude to tolerate me. I want to be loved , respected, and appreciated as a person not just because I have a snapper and a nice rack but dude better love that too.

  10. just visiting on said:

    @ Potent E

    Sounds good to me. Now, some background. You stumbled across a hornets nest with the man up peter pan thing. It’s been a media issue, and one sparking debate on some blogs. There are deeper complexities surrounding the issue than the assumed idea that men wont grow up.

    Todays post is a play on that, but it also deals with another issue that has come up in the manosphere. A challenge was issued. One that certain blogs and their readers have taken seriously. Women were asked what do they bring to the table besides a certain attractiveness and sex. The qualities had to be ones that men found attractive. Sounds easy enough, but the feed back was eye opening.

    Interestingly, if women in large number took to heart what PM is suggesting, I suspect alphas would be eating the dust of greater betas. If alphas truly want such women, then one has to ask what they bring to the table besides a certain attractiveness(Alpha) and sex. (And trust me, asking the manosphere what they bring can get you put on a spit and roasted. )They’ve been exposed to “The List” of entitlement far to many times. Though women with red pill exposure and a list of feminine and desirable traits will probably find that they can do better than pump and dump or harems. Is there enough incentive to change the game. Perhaps , but we’ll have to see a large number of women change first.

    Now if we can find enough incentive to get them involved in being the back bone of society, western civilization might not fall after all.

    • Thank you for providing this information.
      I realize it is difficult.
      Although there are some women, and I do include myself in this, that are willing to do so…unfortunately I see other women who are not…far too many.

      Part of it, I think, is that as well know…bad habits die hard.
      I am hoping to lead some of these women to change.
      But it is not easy…I need to raise my rates.

      They do not KNOW (think) that it is them.

      aristophanes lysistrata

  11. PM’s “woman up” challenge brings up an important point.

    For decades, men were led to believe that before anything else in a budding relationship happened, they had to prove themselves worthy of women. Before a woman did or gave anything, a man was expected to offer proof in the form of his ability and willingness to invest. This was usually in the form of money, gifts, dinners, dates. A man’s occupation, position or earning power was also a form of proof of worthiness. Another was his looks, still another his social position or pedigree. Women considered themselves entitled to a man’s jumping through hoops, all to prove himself and his good faith, and to check off some of the items on her 463 bullet point checklist.

    By contrast, all a woman had to do was show up with a functioning set of genitals.

    The tables are turning.

    Men are no longer willing to jump through hoops. Now men are expecting women to prove their worthiness. Men are saying “Before I’m going to show you anything, you must prove yourself worthy to me. Show me why you’re worthy of my time and money. Show me why I should invest anything in you. Show me the attributes listed above — appearance, pleasant personality, kind, soft, caring, etc. Then, and only then, I will consider investment.”

    • This, in spades. It’s a difficult concept for women to grasp if they’ve been spoon-fed the entitled princess attitude.

    • Women have a checklist for the men they intend to marry.
      They don’t have a checklist for the men they have sex with.

      Now, the problem is that the man with the checklist to live up to, feels undervalued.

      And why shouldn’t he be feeling that way? She is likely going to tell him to wait on what the “men they have sex with” had instantly.

      The guy they get married to is simply getting a raw deal in terms of honesty – he will not know “what’s your number”.

      But of course he’ll be told that it’s rude to ask, while she pesters him for personal details “so that I can get to know you better”.

      • Whhhaattt?? Yo say whhhat??
        You kwazzy!!
        Talk about a laugh of all time!

        So men today…now have a checklist for their sex partners and will NOT have sex with just anything???
        LOL LOl LOL lol lol lol

        Since when??
        You are so full of it!!
        That is what “The Game” is about….getting laid, not getting the right partner.
        Ha ha ha!!

        Men will have sex with anything and will only marry certain women.

        But YOU get to call it compatibility or incompatibility.
        While women are whore-ables & picky.

        It is not rude to ask for sex…those women are just being lame.

        But lets just be straight, in arranged marriages, the fathers all know the financial business before consummation.

        “Time, Sex, and Power” Dr Leonard Shlain.
        “The Natural History of the Rich” Richard Conniff
        “The Evolution of Desire” by David Buss

        There!! ALL men! 🙂

      • You want a good approach, vs a good man.

        Here’s the thing lady…
        The moment men can flawlessly approach…
        Is when they’ve been practicing on your sisters plenty.
        You actually want a player – but you’re too smart to say it.

      • PotentE:

        Are you really that naive and clueless? Ignoring the fact that most “red-pill” men realized they needed to improve themselves mentally & physically, even the AVERAGE man has standards.

        “The game” (poor word choice, closer to circa 2007 — “player lifestyle” is more suiting) is most certainly about getting laid, but not with just anyone. Even if we were to reference Mystery’s book, it’s about bedding “hot” women, not ugly fat social rejects. Give me a fucking break.

        Big difference between occasionally lowering your physical standards (women do this more often because they’re even less concerned with looks) and “having sex with anything.”

        Red Pill men may not always be too picky when it comes to sex, but they are definitely picky when it comes to serious relationships and (Zeus forbid) marriage. Why? Because men, unlike women, don’t need any form of emotional connection or attachment with a woman to sleep with her. It’s “almost” purely physical: Femininity/sexiness (not common American women traits), flat stomach, youthful appearance & body characteristics (i.e. lacking crows feet, stretch marks, wrinkles).

        “Just like a lot of really great men get over looked, there are a ton of women who do too because they are not pretty or sexy enough, or the right proportions.

        That is also not to say that there are not plenty of women that are all of these things that still cannot be happy…that is their plight…may God be with them and whoever marries them.

        But you men, I am assuming are looking for the diamonds, no?”

        Yes, “quality” women are going to get overlooked, a sad consequence of the state of the world today. That is what today’s times have done to us. We’re sick of being pigeon-holed into a lifestyle we don’t want, where men keep getting the short end of the stick (unfair laws, spousal inequality, wives’ quickly declining beauty, unhealthy sexual relationships, female bias in the media, etc.)

        I’m not looking for the diamonds. I don’t want marriage or the “perfect” woman for me, that’s the difference between men and women (a concept you guys never seem to be able to grasp). Women dream about their wedding day, guys could not care less. Women wait for the man of their dreams, men just want to get their dicks wet. MANY women still want a man to take care of them, men want to enjoy a life where they aren’t shackled in an unhappy marriage for the rest of their lives.

        We don’t care if we get married or not, society tells us we have to. No thanks.

        Good thing, because more and more men are slowly waking up… the manosphere is proof of that.

      • GMAC-

        I am the one who said THE GAME was about getting LAID and NOT committing.
        The guy before that post was saying women did not have a checklist for guys they had sex with but did for guys they would marry…he was WHINING about it.

        I merely pointed out the hypocrisy to him…but I wasn’t whining about it. I had to remind him what he was on here for.
        I think this site is good for men who need to…gain some confidence.

        But keep in mind, that those type of women he was referring to, are not feminine women, they are MASCULINE.
        Duhhhh!!

        Ok. I’ll be the master of the obvious:
        Men who have REAL GAME…don’t lie. They don’t have to. Because they know they are not going to win them all. And they are not whining about it.
        They certainly are not on these posts. They are out there getting laid and making money.
        He knows he will be getting laid…sometime…this week.
        They are just not attached to whom.
        WOMEN on the WHOLE (no matter what type of woman) are attracted to the MASCULINE. Masculine is DIRECTED. Knows the direction he is going.
        PERIOD.
        EVEN if it is just a one night stand.
        But a truly feminine woman- will not be into this.

        In fact I have reached out to other women who call themselves dating coaches for women, to make sure they are aware of this…marriage is not a man’s game.
        It is a woman’s.
        AND casual sex is not a woman’s game.
        It is a mans.
        A woman who participates in casual sex is being MASCULINE.

        Of course these women are unwell and reactive.
        Therefore they degrade any rational statements too. 🙂

        And although YOU do not want to mate/marry, there are men here who may…they just call themselves red pill when they really are just faking it to learn some new techniques.
        If you read their posts,you can hear it…they flip flop.

        One moment whining and complaining how upset they are that women aren’t feminine today.
        And the next moment getting angry at feminine women for having needs that need to be met.

        Has it ever really crossed your mind the reason you needed something like “The Game” in the first place?
        It is not JUST because of women.
        Just like women have their own game “becoming feminine” they need these days. it is not because of the men they date.
        They too were taught incorrectly all sorts of crazy stuff.

        Grown adults, male and female ones, no longer blame their parents, or the opposite sex.
        Instead they seek to do something about their upsets and do their best to take accountability.
        That is the reason I am NOT opposed to this site…even if I do not agree with all if its content.

        This CANNOT only be about getting laid for some of these men. PR requires women who contribute to this blog post to read:
        http://bbsezmore.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/femininity-field-report-1/

        I don’t gather he is asking us to read this to be more sexually available to all men like YOUR game teaches you to get.
        In fact the opposite.
        Or if he is…then none of us on here are getting “It.”

        Some of these men here are fighting themselves.
        They are pissed, for very good reason.

        I agree…it is not fair that women can choose between the life and death of a child and the father has no say in it.
        Of course, I am sure you could care less about that right?
        Cuz, you do not want the responsibility anyway.
        So that law is ok…let her deal with it…as long as no one can come after you for money.

        Or maybe you do care…again the narcissism abounds.
        So it really is difficult to tell what you men, here, actually want.(Major part of your problems btw. You all really are all over the place…just an observation.)

        Laws and religion were created by man.
        Men to be specific- not women. They were created by GOOD men to protect women, children, animals and the planet from BAD men who because of their badness, would leave these beings for the rest of the world to take care of….
        Unfortunately it does not protect good men or people who get the shaft.
        IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE are a DRAIN on a civilizations resources and system.
        “Time, Sex and Power” Dr. Leonard Shlain

        When a man falls in love…he falls outside of himself and his innate nature.
        He is willing to be monogamous and give everything for a woman he loves.
        So if the woman a man loves leaves him…his heart LITERALLY breaks.

        We women will be upset and go through a detox for a while, but we can become whole pretty quickly with a new boyfriend..or even a new wardrobe. WE really are quite resilient.

        SOME of the men here sound like they BLOCK this though, by choosing women they cannot truly ever love and will be easy for them to LEAVE.

        Again, it is easier to blame the women in their lives then to see how they are responsible for the shit they helped create and change.
        (I know, I know.. you guys are changing- you are pissed I get it. It too is tired.)
        Just like it is easier for some women to blame men than to make changes in themselves.

        Read the post he sent us—if it is convenient.

        That is the irony in all of this.

        You, GMAC, do not want a feminine woman.
        You are happy with the masculine women that you get so you can call women desperate, dumb, sluts and gold-diggers instead of actually risking yourself.

        YOU enjoy HURTing other human beings.

        Which is a completely different conversation altogether.
        And some of these “red pill” men may be the same.
        In fact, this red pill thing is beginning to sound more anti-feminine and more about causing pain to a human being.

        So if you are accurate, and the “it” I did not get before is in fact THAT…then this site and the definition of “red pill” should at least be called exactly what it is.
        Say it loud and proud!

        Say it “We are here because we want to hurt another human being!! A female human being.”

      • PotentE
        It’s only a whine if it’s something most women can’t fulfil – to be a helpmate to a man who loves her.

        It’s only a whine if the man has the moral high ground – and is concerned that the person he spends the rest of his life with … has disrespected his values by previously catting around.

        Female dis-satisfaction, with valid male concerns.

        Then, all the man’s concerns become whines.

        You sure you’re not one of those cafeteria feminists, PotentE?
        The ones who want equality when it comes to jobs, but won’t take the first step when it comes to dates or initiating anything?

        ‘Cause what you said about whining, sounds a lot like making out that YOU are a prize to be won …
        Without actually saying what it is you bring to the table.

        In effect, you are saying: If a relationship fails, the man chose wrongly, or he didn’t lead enough.
        Can you tell that many here are tired of hearing that?

        When are women going to be equal enough to take responsibility for the failure of relationships and their own bad characters?

        Or is “t3h patriarchy” stealing that responsibility from them?

      • @P Ray

        Not what I am saying at all.
        As any one knows, relationships fail for a myriad of reasons.
        Many fail for mere incompatibilities…no fault of anyone’s.

        I am saying, if the women ya’ll have been with were that TERRIBLE…(I only put in all caps cuz I can’t underline or blod btw) than there must have been someTHING behind that….that stems from you.
        That is not to say you will not find a someone who really is a crappy bitch here and there. But you would dump her ass so quick so it wouldn’t matter.

        I would say the same thing to women- whom is my niche with which I work. Look to see how they played a hand. (I teach Virtue through science, for those who religion is not resonating.)

        Yes, we are breaking down the pathology…the thought process…that got you there in the first place.

        And the first question always is, since you asked the Frued in me ” My daddy was…?”
        So answer the question” My mommy was…??”

        The first time you answer you may have nothing bad.
        I didn’t. My dad has always been in my life. He didn’t drink, smoke, play poker. He read to me every night and shooshed me to sleep while stroking my forehead. He was the breadwinner, he was 6’0 tall, strong, muscular. He would kill anyone who laid a hair on my head. He had been a player who became a real man with my mothers help. He was very openly affectionate towards my mother in front of us.
        I truly had to many, a fairytale childhood.

        But the more you focus and look at your life, things get clearer.

        Bb’s husband said- she is breaking down a swing- like in golf-or whatever..

        It is only the things you are WILLING to look at that you will see.

        I do date players…who wouldn’t?? They have a lot to offer!
        But that is not to say I do not date men who may not be players.

        But I am not going to date someone who repulses me…would you want a woman who was repulsed by you?
        I am not going to date someone whom sounds like we want different things or with whom I have NO chemistry….that would be misleading and using. (Again, these are the CLAW women I mentioned earlier, that do this.)

        And I have dated several players that have tried to get in..anywhere they can get in…without a contract that I could agree on. They never got it in. They are “dated” for a reason.

        My current love went out of his way to let me know he wasn’t a player, which means he was, at least in a former life. And he knows I am a prize. (Even if you do not…I am not for everyone.) He knows it because I would not have intercourse with him…of all people! And he makes money and has major game. He knows I can be with someone else very quickly if I wanted to do. Or even be alone…very quickly if I wanted to. And so could he. So he has to keep up his end of the bargain. But so do I.
        We are NOT compatible in every way…we have had, albeit painful, respectful, sensitive, open conversations about it. We are working on the incompatibilities.
        And we will go for as long as we can…but we may not make it due to these incompatibilities.

        I do initiate. But to initiate in a feminine way is quite different than most people realize. A feminine person initiates by giving a lengthy look in the eyes and smile. An indicator, THAT is her initiating. It is never being the one to approach a man at a bar..that would be masculine.

        To initiate sex in a feminine way is not a way that most women think either. Women go for the overt sexual, get naked and get in his face thing. Which with most men, actually turns them off. It does not work…esp if hey are masculine. (If it turns you on you are more in your feminine…period. Not a judgement, just what is so.)
        Then we feel embarrassed from the rejection. And will never initiate again.
        No. It is subtle. It is showing a little nakedness walking from the bathroom to the bedroom…just so he can see the outline of your toosh or tata’s.
        It is a kiss on the neck, a peck on the cheek, a lengthy look in the eyes. The look in the eyes really works for some reason. Non verbal usually out weighs the verbal ones.

        And I have been dumped by someone I was in love with whom I would not give it up to. He said we were not compatible because I wasn’t Jewish and he would never celebrate xmas. (And I am half Jewish!) HE even told me in his eyes I was a 10. Especially in the area of chemistry. I respected his decision…even though I had plenty of opinions. I kept them to myself. Well he found his compatible partner, who got pregnant within 5 months of knowing her. He is miserable now. I know because I have ran into him a month after the had wed. HE had put on 15 – 20 pounds and hid the ring from me. (People put on weight hen they cannot be themselves in their lives.) She did what she had to do to get him to commit. (Again, did not turn out to be the person he had hoped for.) So instead of exploring the possibility with me, HIS chemical partner, and someone whom was open to negotiating the incompatibility, he is married to a women he does not love, that also does not get him turned on enough. He will cheat. Chose out of a pathology that will let him rationalize any infidelity down the road. What he did not understand is THAT and because of THAT, SHE is his match. At least for now. We ALWAYS get our complement.

        Choices…based out of a pathology so deeply engrained that if you had to choose RATIONALLY…would you? Especially knowing how much pain, time and money you could be spending?

      • BTW- The Feminine IS a prize to be won.
        In fact, it is the LACK of the feminine that has brought about this red pill thing. Sounds like women they had been trained by wether it was there mothers or not, were either wendy’s or claws. Not their fault..they did not know either.

        “When are women going to be equal enough to take responsibility for the failure of relationships and their own bad characters?”

        Again, once you start doing so in your own life. You will not deal with ANYONE, woman or man, who does not do the same in theirs…nor will you be attracted to it.

        I have stated repeatedly what the feminine is, and what she brings to the table.

        You just don’t get “it” because you have never experienced it…for probably good reason.

      • “You just don’t get “it” because you have never experienced it…for probably good reason.”
        Again – you keep trying to say I dated those women.
        PotentE,
        are you daft?

        I only say that because you ignore the fact that I OBSERVED OTHER MEN DATING THOSE WOMEN. The so-called feminine women, that cut men to the quick, used them for what they could, and then pretended they didn’t exist! I didn’t date them.
        Once more: I didn’t date those women. I used my eyes and observed how they behaved. Their bad behaviour, disqualified them from my interest.

        Well, of course, I haven’t had that “true love” … because I don’t date – since the women around me now, are neither arousing, interesting or attractive!

  12. *sigh* PotentE… You’re simply not getting it. I agree, you still have way too much blue pill in you. I’m almost at a loss for how to explain it to you.

    “This “manosphere” I realize may be quite shocking to you…is not shocking to me”… That’s because you don’t quite get it yet… And you may not.

    I’ll let my man Morpheus explain… “You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

    Don’t be offended or feel we are ganging up on you here… We’re not. Red pill men are not woman haters.

    If I had to sum it up, I’d say that we’re men that have simply seen the light and refuse to put up with the bad behavior (dominating, entitlement issues, princess moments, whinny bitchiness just because you can, belittling behavior, etc.) of women any longer. Society created this… Feminism blew it out of proportion… Hell, my own mother put beta ideals in my head about how women wanted me to act and what was acceptable. You need only turn on the TV to any number of shows to see the bad behavior of women I am referring to. (Raymond, King of Queens, ect) However, men are doing only what is expected of them because this is what women have told us they want… They lied and we swallowed it. Blame falls on both sides.

    If women can not differentiate between nurturing a man and a child then where does the onus really lie? “Respect” is not a word that leaps to mind when used in the definition of nurturing a child. While yes, I think respect for a child is important, it is not just important, it’s absolutely crucial in nurturing a man. The problem with your thinking is that all words have a definition, true, but words also have many definitions or uses in context. For example, the word “clean” may describe an act as a verb, but there are many ways to carry out that act of “cleaning” to achieve the goal. If nurturing a child is to clean a mud patch and nurturing a man is to clean a window, then using the same tactic (a mop in this case) will have very different and consequential results. “You cannot spell smother without mother.” completely reinforces my point. The problem lies in the definition. How women can confuse “Nurturing” with “Smothering” is beyond me.
    Red Pill men want women to be women without all the garbage that society has told them they are entitled to or is acceptable in a relationship. When we want women to “Woman up”, we’re asking them to change their way of thinking about themselves and what men want from them.

    I recently had a date with a woman who decided she was going to have a little freak-out princess moment in a restaurant with the waiter. (She was brutal with this poor guy and even went so far as to belittle his occupation) Long story short, I leaned across the table (after the waiter left) and in a polite but firm manner told her if I ever see her disrespect another human being like that again she would be committing relationship homicide. While she did try to push back a bit in a freak-out typical fashion, I simply glared at her to reinforce my position. She now (hopefully) understands that I will not put up with her little freak-out moments and we both ended up having a pretty great evening after all. She even asked me out again before I had the chance to offer. Women need to understand this behavior is ugly, juvenile and Red Pill men won’t put up with it anymore. We want all the glorious traits that we love about you women… But you have to lose these “learned” behaviors and ideals that are dragging your personalities down.

    I hope this hasn’t “muddied” the waters for you further. The best advice I can give you is read the blogs, responses and conflicts with an open mind. It really is a huge eye opener.

    • well done Jester. I saw something similar recently. At a restaurant at an adjacent table, a man’s date started freaking out at the waiter, quite loudly and publicly. It looked like a first or second date. The man asked for the check, paid it, then tossed a bill across the table and said testily “That’s for cab fare.” He then got up and strode out of the restaurant with her moving quickly after him. Man, did I smile at that.

      I don’t know if they made up or not. Had a woman done that to me now, I don’t even know if I would have paid for the fare. Most certainly, that would have been the last date.

  13. Women up!

    I like the concept Privateman.

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  33. The Truth on said:

    where are the good women today that we had years ago? and now they are nothing like that.

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