The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The Choreography Of Attention

Sometimes it’s necessary to review old blog posts for new insights.

I walked over to the gourmet burger place for dinner this evening. Waiting in line behind me was a beautiful and stylishly dressed woman, though probably 10 years older than me. That would make her around 60, quite possibly older. She was arranging a newspaper in her hands so she could read an article.

β€œAnything good in the news?” I asked.

Let’s stop right there.

I first posted this over six months ago. It was a diary-like post to describe a simple encounter with a woman. In retrospect, the encounter requires further analysis.

1. I assumed that men could simply strike up a conversation with a woman. I was wrong and terribly so. Because I am in the Manosphere and the men that I know are of the same Manosphere mindsight, I made the false assumption that men can easily strike up a conversation, regardless of gender. Approach anxiety is real and, honestly, full of angst. I don’t have approach anxiety.

2. The woman in question, Eileen, was in an “attention transition moment”. This is an important concept. If a woman’s attention is drawn to something that requires her focus, approaching becomes very challenging and the risk of failure is high. But during a transition from one focus to another, there is a huge opportunity for an approach that is relatively risk-free. I’ll make it simple: if a woman has her ear buds firmly in place to listen to music, should a man attempt an approach? If she’s taking her ear buds off and re-arranging her electronics, should a man approach?

Dealing with women requires analysis and the ability to read the choreography of attention.

You’re welcome.

Single Post Navigation

9 thoughts on “The Choreography Of Attention

  1. Is this a parody?

    • Nope.

      So many guys are completely clueless about the right moment when to approach.

      • So can women be . . .

        I’m taking Bb’s fall challenge for women and trying to approach men more instead of waiting to be approached by them. In my case, the choreography of attention involved what looked to be a very absorbing novel.

  2. All this damned thought and work, and the payoff? Porking a 5 who “hit the wall with a rocketship”.

    MGTOW becomes appetizing for us men of a certain age; the work maybe not worth it.

  3. 108spirits on said:

    Choreography of attention – the moment you should approach a woman? Some time long before she turned 60 years old.


    Yes the art of timing is very important in approaches.

  4. I guess it comes down to calibration.

    Definitely don’t wanna be watching a girl for 5 minutes tryna decide whether she’s too occupied to be approached.

  5. AlekNovy on said:

    All this analysis for that?

    Here’s a much simpler answer.

    When do you approach? When she earns it.

    How does she earn it? By doing something and taking a risk on you, for example consistently hovering around you, (accidentally) bumping into you, occasionally glancing your way etc.

    Wtf are some of you doing spoiling these women who have not earned an approach in any way?

    • Because way too many women don’t know jack squat about being receptive to an approach. They are so risk-averse that they either put up the bitch shield or decide to be coy. Feh.

      • AlekNovy on said:

        So let them pay the price! πŸ™‚

        The reason so many women have so shitty social skills is because we never let them develop any.

        We reward risk-averse bitches instead of encouraging them to grow up.

        Besides, it’s not like there’s an actual decent return-on-investment in approaching (rewarding) risk-averse women.

        Think about it… You end up rewarding 99% spoiled bitches to maybe lay one – hardly a good ROI.

        If you think about it, most of your successes with women in life come with women who had invested at least some risk in the interaction. We have a duty to stop rewarding lazy ass behaviour in women – no excuses.

        A really wise man explained it really well here:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: