The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “October 6, 2011”

Man Talk

Back in my blue pill days, I was under the erroneous impression that women wanted me to open up to them emotionally. I worked hard to not be a macho, stoic kind of guy. Emotions were my friend and I was more than happy to share them copiously with women in my life. Hilarity and sexuality were not common themes in my blonde wife marital administration. Women actually loathe guys like that. So men, don’t be like that. You’re welcome.

Recently, a woman I am seeing has been attempting to get me to talk more about my feelings. What this means is that she wants me to talk about my feelings for her. The first time this happened about a month ago, I was caught completely off guard. It’s been years since a woman asked me questions about my emotions. Latina wife never asked such questions, she just made statements like “Hijo de puta!” and other fun, Spanish phrases.

Being caught so off guard, I said something I thought I would never say:

“I’m a man. We don’t talk about this stuff.”

After decades of being bombarded with the narrative that men are bad, women are good, using the “I’m a man” logic was a very surprising response from me in the context of discussing feelings for a woman.

Naturally, she protested and prodded me further. “You men are so frustrating! Can’t you just tell me how you feel about us?”

As I have taken the Red Pill, I understand that actions are far more important than silly words that describe feelings.

I kissed her long and hard and when I pulled away, I said this:

“Actions over words. I’m a man, after all.” I rather impressed myself with that statement.

She had to change her panties after that. Seriously.

When I’m with her or communicate with her, I never talk about my feelings for her. She has tested me since then but now I always use the “I’m a man…” rationale. It makes her tingle to know that I am confident in my masculinity and would rather use actions over words. Rollo recently wrote an excellent and relevant post on this theme.

Saying “I’m a man” in a statement is definitely confidence and attraction material. Just don’t overuse it.

There is an important nuance when using this approach. Avoid weakness in your words and phrases. Compare the following two statements:

“I’m a man. We don’t talk about this stuff.”

“Um… I’m a guy and we’re not really that good at talking about this kind of stuff.”

The second statement is weaker – the “Um” introduction – and implies that there’s something wrong with not talking about this kind of stuff. There are also too many words.

Also, don’t say “guy”, it’s too informal. Say “man” and be damned proud of it. Stand your ground, too. There’s no good reason to have those touchy-feeling conversations with a woman who is new in your life.

Naturally, many women will make scoffing noises and likely roll their eyes. Expect it. Those are just noises and are to be thoroughly ignored. If you’re dating her or in a relationship with her, kiss her right then and there and do it well. If you’re Gaming her, look her straight in the eye and smirk knowingly. Then change the subject of the conversation. The smirk is vital.

Additionally, using your masculinity to specifically avoid awkward conversations about emotions has a great result, you don’t have to have awkward conversations about emotions. Amazing, isn’t it? This technique can also be used to ward off the “we need to talk” conversations.

If you are emotionally committed to a woman, it’s OK to tell her you love her and have the mushy, emotional discussions (to a point, dammit). Hell, that’s important in any long-term relationship. The “I’m a man” conversational approach is used for the women who may or may not become serious for you. It’s a way for men to get some breathing room in the beginning of a potential relationship.

More on speech stuff.

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