The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

A Bit Of Advice For Men Of A Certain Age

It’s astounding how sloppy our fashion has become. Here in South Florida, the men dress horribly. Teva-style sandals, baggy shorts, and ill-fitting t-shirts seem to be the general mode of dress for guys not on the job. They all look alike, no matter what the age. It’s embarrassing. It’s also a huge opportunity for the Red Pill man.

Here’s the advice: Dress better than the other guys around you, especially in social settings. This doesn’t mean parading about in a tuxedo, it simply means paying more attention to how you dress yourself. If all the guys are in shorts and t-shirts, go one level up to a nice polo shirt and khakis with some loafers. If all the other guys are wearing that, you should be wearing a crisp dress shirt and nicely tailored dress pants. Don’t forget some brief and elegant accessories like a good wrist watch and belt that matches your shoes.

As my own sartorial sense is not good, I sought out an expert in things fashion. I found myself a good tailor. There is some money involved for his services. It’s a worthy cost because my clothes fit so much better. Ill-fitting clothes are a curse worse than a Zombie infestation. If the clothes don’t fit well, don’t buy them or don’t wear them. No debate.

Here’s a quick tip for saving money on fancy man-clothes –  thrift/consignment stores and the dry cleaner. No one has to know the origin of that Italian suit. It just looks good on you. The elegant watch? Pawn shop. This takes a bit of shopping around. If you have a trusted female friend, bring her along because she can be extremely useful. Just makes sure to resist her impulse to dress you like a metro-sexual. And no pink shirts, seriously.

You should be dressing to your age and the social venue. Clothes for 20-somethings are not appropriate for a 40+ guy. Thankfully, some fashion styles are timeless and you should be going for that look. Be careful with men’s magazine fashion advice because it’s too often aimed at a much younger demographic. There is no such thing as a middle-aged hipster.

Once again, this is where the tailor comes in. He can also advise you of styles and cuts that flatter (or camouflage) your figure. Also, consult Brooks Brothers or similar online catalogs to get some ideas. Your wardrobe needn’t be vast, you just need a variety of sufficient options when you dress.

Oh, about your hair. Consult a barber or appropriate stylist for a fix. Again, your hairstyle should be age appropriate. Balding are you? Join the club. Go completely hairless or at least a buzz cut to the remaining hairs on your noggin. Bald is currently in fashion so take advantage of it. Facial hair must be neat and well-groomed.

For guys over 35, all this effort about appearance is the equivalent of Mystery’s peacocking. A confident man stands out from the crowd. As we are a bit too mature for a fuzzy hat and black nail polish, the street clothes will demonstrate your willingness to stand out. There is also something confidence-building about dressing better. You’ll likely find yourself walking with a better posture and sitting more upright. You’re showing off and there’s not a damned thing wrong with that.

Note that I didn’t mention anything about being more attractive to women. Your fashion style is for your confidence, not eye-candy for dames admiring your well-polished shoes or expensive (pawn shop) watch. The good clothes, accessories, and grooming is, ironically, inner Game. It’s also good motivation to work on your overall physique. If you’re shopping at the big and tall store and you’re not that tall, there’s your sign for shrinking that gut. Thankfully, it’s much easier for men to lose weight than women. Get to it, fatty. If you’re dieting successfully, your tailor should be regularly taking in your pants and your sport coats.

You’re welcome.

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14 thoughts on “A Bit Of Advice For Men Of A Certain Age

  1. Im in agreement about using thrift stores. I have good luck for shirts at Goodwill: I can get a 100% cotton shirt that looks like new (no stains or tears, good color) for $2.50. Pants are trickier to find at Goodwill because they don’t organize them by size. Also, my town has about 8 Goodwill stores, and some are in good neighborhood; those are a better bet than the ones in the more run down neighborhoods.

    As much as I like a well dressed woman, I dont really care about where she gets her clothes. If she gets them from Goodwill and looks hot wearing them, I amethrilled. With woman, this is not true. She does care where you get them and most women are label whores. I recall a post where Hailey with the Halo complained about most men are satisfited to get their clothes a Kohl’s. That comment depressed me for about two days, and is emblematic of the true materialistic nature of women.

    That men can go to Goodwill and get a shirt that may appear to have come from Express is a nice form of Batesian mimicry.

  2. Ian Ironwood on said:

    Even better bet: find out where the local doctors and lawyers pass their suits on to (locally, an association of Doctor’s wives has a charity to recycle their old clothes and get a tax write-off) and they regularly have drives for that sort of thing. Get on their e-mail list and find out when the good stuff is coming through. I’ve picked up $700 suits for $35 before. Another $20 for tailoring, and the effect is perfect: I feel like a Mafia don.

    Also, never underestimate the power of shoes.

    Really, most of us could care less . . . but women care a LOT. Way too much, of course. I’ve seen men get pre-rejected just because they were sporting Pic-N-Pay BOGO specials. Keep your eyes open for nice Italian shoes that fit, and then have them professionally repaired and shined. If they’re a little worn, that’s OK — it implies you’ve worn them a lot.

    Lastly: shoes and belt must match. Brown belt, brown shoes. Black belt, black shoes. White belt, not-getting-laid. It’s just that simple.

    • Any suggestions on how you get an inexpensive pair of slightly worn expensive shoes, other than the one above?

      Needless to say, the superficiality of women in this area is over the top. But alas….

      • Ian Ironwood on said:

        Make friends with a lawyer or cardiologist with the same size feet. Conversely, find a shoe-repair shop with a high-end clientele and see if they’ve had any leftovers (customers who didn’t pick up their orders, died, whatever). Often they’ll let those go for the cost of the repair. And there is always Ebay.

      • Dude: what kind of brands do you wear to impress the porno chicks? Today I am wearing my Florsheim’s that I bought after graduating from college in 1985. What are good Italian brands?

        If I wear good shoes, then I guess I can insist that a woman wear very high heels. All the time.

      • Ian Ironwood on said:

        Heh. I don’t need to impress porno chicks, nor would I want to. That’s like going to see the actor Hugh Jackman and wanting him to actually bare-knuckle fight a big beefy guy to the death. They’re performers, and while some of them are nice girls, impressing them isn’t on my list.

        Besides, believe it or not, I’m happily married. I just hang out here to dispense advise and get my kicks.

    • In the midwest where I live, white belt means you’re either gay or a Christian fundie preacher. (And I am NOT being redundant.)

    • just visiting on said:

      white belt,not -getting-laid

      Herb from WKRP just flashed before my eyes.

  3. “Dress better than the other guys around you, especially in social settings.”

    Yes. This right here.

  4. In my town, damn near every guy in his 40s is a complete herb. Just cutting out the socks/sandals combo is a game changer.

  5. wingman on said:

    My father was in his day, a true alpha role model and an extremely successful operator. He was old school all the way, but man did it work. His 2 credos: always be a gentleman and always dress well. He paid up for good clothes and was always sure of himself for doing it.

  6. Great advice!
    I also live in Florida and know exactly what you’re talking about. In our defense, it is easy to get stuck in the shorts/flip flops/Guy Harvey T-shirt wardrobe rut.

    I actually have to think about it to put on a polo shirt…

  7. good advise bro’ but I actually thought guys in FL were quite fashionable.

    Good point though about dressing your age.

    I know this guy we call Cuban:he’s like 60 but dresses like a 20 year old.Pretty taccy.

  8. DC Phil on said:

    Yep, I know about how dressing well comes off. I have this to report from this weekend:

    I was up in Baltimore attending a party at a very nice bar/restaurant. After ringing in the New Year, half of our party decided to head down to the Inner Harbor for some bar hopping. At our third bar (which was a dive in a working-class neighborhood, with plenty of drunk chicks walking about in their party dresses), I stayed sober (I was the designated driver for my friend) and just people-watched. I was dressed in black pants, a black jacket, and a burgundy shirt — and I clearly stood out from many of the people at the bar.

    Three times that night, this one guy in a striped shirt and jeans comments about how smartly dressed I was, how I was sitting at the bar in a calm and collected manner, and that I should be “slaying the bitches” there, and about how they’re not going to make the first move. I thanked him for his comments, but still sat there people-watching because I was looking for some IOI’s from the girls there (and got none since, as I figured, there were too many groups there as well as not-too-good-looking girls anyways). It also didn’t help that one of the girls, a 26 yr old redhead with a nice ass, we met at the second bar was trashed and wouldn’t let up trying to make out with the other woman with us, an early 30-something tattooed former biker chick who looked damn fine in her short dress. The two of them going at it attracted a lot of unwanted attention (including two groups of guys taking pics and filming), so that put a damper on any kind of game I could have done. That and my one female friend, being trashed herself, wanting me to make out with her. Simply put, the logistics and the situation were bad. I wanted to get with the redhead, but she was more interested in making out with the other girl, and her boyfriend. Ah, well . . .

    In any event, I thought the one guy’s comments were funny — especially coming from a guy who I didn’t know. I guess I stood out. Too bad that I didn’t get much interest from the girls there. And, as it was late and I was feeling a little tired, I wasn’t up for approaching them, either.

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