The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Thanks Lurking Readers! (And Another Request)

Yesterday’s post received the response I was hoping for and for this I am very appreciative. All blogs have a high lurk rate. It’s the nature of reading blogs. I also appreciate the compliments I have received. Such good words inspire me to keep posting.

For today’s post, I have another request.

Bring others to the Manosphere and, more importantly, start actively discussing Red Pill issues in the real world, especially regarding dating and relationships. Discussing such Red Pill things is socially risky. There are still way too many Blue Pill people who cling desperately to old, outdated modes of thinking regarding social issues. Better yet, ask questions that will bring out Red Pill answers. If you really want to stir things up, ask your married friends (seperately), “How do you like being married?” The Socratic method is a fine way of getting people to think.

The Blue Pill gang will likely shame you. Just know that when you are shamed, you have effectively won the debate. Take pride in that and just move on to the next person. Shamers lack the intellectual horsepower to understand the Red Pill. You’re just a smarter individual.

In particular, refer your single, male friends to the Manosphere. It doesn’t matter if it’s my blog or not. My blog roll has quite a few Red Pill links in it and I have yet to add more. There is no central, organized Manosphere landing page but there is some discussion amongst bloggers to create one, maybe someday. Gmac does have a blog post that introduces some of the Manosphere’s central characters. I’m flattered to be on that list.

If anyone feels ambitious, report back on your discussion efforts out in the real world. I am intensely interested in the response to the Red Pill outside of the Manosphere. Whether the experience be positive or negative, it would be fascinating to read.

Let’s face facts, the mainstream media is very unlikely to find the Manosphere and report on it. That’s likely out of fear. So, to introduce the Red Pill requires your voices to spread the word.

Now it’s my turn to say thanks.

Teaser – Big news coming this week!

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18 thoughts on “Thanks Lurking Readers! (And Another Request)

  1. 108spirits on said:

    You’re advising people to risk their social reputation to win some meaningless debates. Why? Besides, taking the Red Pill is not something one does after losing a debate, you know.

  2. SethEng on said:

    I’ve talked to some friends about it, but speaking from personal experience it can take awhile before things start to sink in. That they’ve seen my life change for the better helps. It’s a long, hard road that requires giving up a lot of comfortable, if harmful, ideas.

    It’s just easier to be “beta” or “omega” and trapped in endless reacting to the system and not move towards great independence from it.

  3. Rhahael on said:

    But if the thing is to openly discuss people clinging to old, outdated modes of thinking regarding social issues we will have to revise civilization as a whole.

    I mean… relationships nowadays are anti-natural, but people don’t notice that almost everything you do is also anti-natural. We have too much of the things we used to search long distances for to eat for cheap causing obesity; we have workplaces rewarding personal instability instead of skills to manage and improve, and hiring people from how they can adapt to the company and not how well they can do the job; we have a political hierarchy with people who can do too much, and doesn’t show why the hell are they suited for such authority position but with vague promisses and a lot of social dominance posing coaching…

    We forget that: women are fucked up, yes they are, but it’s the enviroment that changed and allowed them to be. Its like if anthelopes start appearing out of nowhere like magic, well feed and with broken legs for them not to escape; the lions will start to get lazy and fat and will like it.

  4. “If you really want to stir things up, ask your married friends (seperately), “How do you like being married?” ”

    Seperately? Hell with that. I’ve had a lot of fun bringing up concepts from Roissy’s/Heartiste’s page more than once around married friends. By the time I finished explaining a few theories on why women do some of the things they do, and successful strategies for relationships, a few of the wives definitely did not like me. But once one of them said “that’s the best explanation for my cousin that I’ve ever heard”, most of them were won over pretty quickly. Hell, some of them even started trying to fix me up with their hot, single friends after that.

    The funniest part is that I’m now essentially seen as the relationship guru by most of them now, both husbands and wives. Needless to say, the intial reaction to this concept ( was a bit ugly, though I modified it a little to “Be thin, be pretty, and be nice”. My logic being that husbands will work around a lot as long as his spouse maintains those, or at least is showing an honest effort to maintain those. No one is jealous of a guy if his wife plumped up and treats him like a bitch in public. Conversely, no woman is jealous of another woman if her husband just sits on his fat ass watching tv every night after work.

    • I’ve gone to my wife with red pill concepts and said, “The reason you do this is _________________ [insert redpill explanation].”

      The response? Alternatively “No it’s not! That’s a bunch of sexist crap”


      “Yeah, that’s true! How did you know that?”

  5. “The Blue Pill gang will likely shame you.” So true. On another forum (featuring men and women) I introduced the Red Pill idea that, until intimacy, a woman is actively looking for reasons to reject a man. I was subsequently pelted with rocks and garbage.

    To quote the Mahatma: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

  6. just visiting on said:

    It’s already going to non manosphere blogs.(That’s how I found you guys) In my case, political blogs,written by,gasp, women.

  7. I’m bringing up the Red Pill with the guys that are new to the dating game.
    They’re observing its truth daily.

  8. Richard on said:

    I first started mentioning Red Pill concepts to my wife about a year ago as I was working to implement them. I think she was skeptical at first. But just last week she was describing those same concepts to her girlfriend (and the gf’s mother) who is 30+ and wondering why she can’t find a ‘good man’ after riding the carousel for the last decade. The gf said she was being too harsh, though I think she’s coming around to accepting the cold, hard truth of the matter. The mother was shocked but ultimately agreed with what was said. The future is looking brighter my friends.

    As a side note, it’s nice to have a wife that speaks Red Pill concepts from a woman’s POV when we both see a situation. I may have laid the ground work for her, but sometimes I wonder if she understands more than I do. For instance, I’ll say “That dude’s beta to the core. He looks like a puppy with a new owner.” And she’ll reply “Well yeah. I mean HUGE PIECE OF INSIGHT YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT COULD HAVE COME OUT OF ROISSY’S MOUTH”. Curious stuff now that I think about it. Did she know the fundamentals before but just not the terms we use? Or did understanding come more quickly as now she has a solid male POV of relationships?

    Also, hello PrivateMan from a few-months-old lurker.

    • One thing I have learned: never mention “red pill” concepts to women while you are courting them. The few times I did this the women ended the relationship with me (although it could have been for other reasons).

      I think women either don’t understand these concepts because women are not self aware enough to understand that what they are feeling is what you are describing, or they understand them but wont admit it, because it goes against the feminist notion of equality that they want to say they live by (which they don’t)

  9. 1lettuce on said:

    Ha! I’d prefer to share red pill info to myself in real life. Why let others in on the secret?

    Though, when people talk to me about dating, I am frank: trying to date (and not just hook up) is a bum deal for the modern man. He’s got to be very choosey and on the watch for bad signs.

    Or he can just fuck around. It’s not a bad option… But Im looking for more personally at 26. (but would I tell my 20 year old self just to focus on hook ups? Hell yeah!)

  10. I’ll be following suit tomorrow or Friday with a “lurker” outing of my own. Or better yet, a call to arms… Great idea.

  11. Red Pill Woman on said:

    I’m gonna put my ‘lurker’ stats here rather than on your call for comments post:
    Female, 53, mostly raised in the south, by very strict reformed liberal parents. Married
    to a seemingly alpha guy when we were but children, we watched the destruction of his parents’ marriage by his alpha mother. And then ours followed suit. I was told more than once that my belief that the man should be the head of the household was my desire to duck my fair share of the responsibility. After 32 years we divorced. I am now with a very male MAN, who is also very much the leader and head of our household. He was devastated twice by selfish twits who decided that since every waking moment wasn’t thrilling, they were entitled to take his money, his children, and his home away from him. He completely lost contact with one child, and has been separated from that child for over 25 years. He’s talked about marriage, but honestly, I can’t see how it would improve things, and I can feel (I know, shut it LOL) how anxious that whole minefield makes him. I don’t blame him. He got a shitty deal.

    RE: Talking about ‘red pill’ issues out in the general public – the things we’re discovering and delighting in by allowing each other to me the best representation of our genders we can be is nothing short of shattering.

    I think these concepts are more prevalent out in the wild than you might realize. However, we have to keep quiet about it, to (a) prevent the barrage from well-meaning friends and family and (b) to avoid tainting what we’ve discovered.

    I do have issue with the idea that a truly feminine woman isn’t a strong woman. It takes strength, and self-knowledge, and trust, and courage … a whole lot of courage … to give yourself fully to your man, and live it every moment.

    And as to the nurture/mother conflict: the one area where I have been given express permission (direction even) to pull rank (he’s former military) is in the area of his health or care, and I have used that card a couple of times, when I thought he was suffering from heat stroke, and when he was coming down with the flu. That wasn’t being domineering, that was caretaking when he was not himself and not able to do so for himself. When he’s feeling well enough to buck up to me again, I know he’s getting well!

    • It is not pulling rank if he delegated the duty to you. He told you what to do…you did it. He is still the leader.

      • Red Pill Woman on said:

        That’s our joke about it, that I’m pulling rank. But the serious statement underneath is, someone has to step in and make the decision when he’s impaired in some way. And weakness would preclude that. I don’t submit to him because I’m weak, but because he is the leader.

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