The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Attention You Lurking Readers!

I know you’re out there. I get lots of page views and few comments. The view-to-comment ratio is about 1,500 to 1. Frankly, that’s not acceptable. The other Manosphere bloggers agree. We’ve met in secret to discuss it.

So, I invite the lurkers to post one comment, any comment. Just say hello or something. Tell me where you’re from and what you think about this whole Red Pill, Manosphere thing. Tell me your age, your sex, other blogs your read. Better yet, compliment my blog and the sage wisdom that I dispense. I could use some more fawning sycophants. Or, lay down some righteous hate on my lily white ass. I won’t refuse the comment (with exceptions).

There is a bonus, once I approve a comment from your IP address, all your comments automatically go through. No getting stuck in moderation while I’m walking the dog.

I won’t collect email addresses (I’m too lazy for that), I just want to see more damned comments. You regular commenters can sit this one out.

In fact, I’m going to put pressure on you lurkers. Until I get comments from at least 25 new people, I’m not going to update my blog. This post will just sit here.

This is where my blog buddies can help. Send traffic my way so the lurkers can see the terrible disruption they are causing to to my blog and the Manosphere at large.

Yup, it’s digital extortion. If you lurkers want new posts, you have to post comments, it’s just that simple. The regular readers and commenters will suffer terribly. The wailing and gnashing of teeth will be awful. Oh, the humanity!

It gets worse. I’ll still be writing up a storm. There will be a big backlog of fresh and tasty posts, just waiting for me to publish. There will also be an important and exciting announcement, perhaps even two announcements.

It’s up to you, lurking readers. Comment.


You’re welcome.

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75 thoughts on “Attention You Lurking Readers!

  1. Aren’t you just the little coquettish attention whore! If you were a woman, you would be a girly girl flirt in her tight skirt and high heels and flashing eyes for the alpha.

    And “modicum” rocks.

  2. IndianLibertarian on said:

    OK, I’ll bite. Hi. I live in NJ. I stumbled into the Manosphere thanks to blogger Vox Day and Neil Strauss’s book, “The Game”. These days I kick myself for not having discovered this stuff sooner.

  3. Willima on said:

    42, male. Love your blog! Great writing! I have really enjoyed getting an education in the manosphere but trying hard not too jaded.

  4. Darin Williams on said:

    no comment

  5. here’s your pity comment. much like pity sex, it’s not as good as a willing one.

  6. HA! This is going to be fun.

    I like to think this post isn’t aimed at me despite my youthful experience in the manosphere.

    I’m just a guy who learned about game and the truth about how women are just a mere 4 1/2 years into my marriage. Using game to keep my irons hot as a tool to build confidence within my marriage and when talking to other girls as a form of DHV and preselection.

  7. Rhahael on said:

    What? Will you play the attention whore like wiminz? I’ll tell you a secret: haters love to give (negative) feedback the most. The people who like usually nod in agreement and let it be.

  8. Good blog. I am male, 47 next month. I read Heartiste, Dalrock, Susan Walsh, Elusive Wapiti, One STDV, GLP, you. Oh Hell, red pill all the way . . . since I was a kid: by intuition; and now that I am old: by education.

  9. Ok, that’s a deal.
    I like this post, and want to see it each time I come here, so I won’t comment….

    47, reading manosphere stuff for 5 years, thinking manosphere stuff for 40 years.

  10. Ok, why not, I’m male, 21, couple of failed relationships, found manosphere through Strauss’s book initially (like many I think), I’m interested in learning from older guys talking more about how and why things have changed, because older guys I have broached subject with in ‘real life’ don’t seem to believe it has. A lot of good material here, I appreciate the time you spend on it.

  11. SethEng on said:

    Been hanging around the manosphere for the past year and a half, so far it’s been incredibly helpful in my personal development.

  12. OldDog Newtricks on said:

    Been married 29 years. Found the manosphere this summer. Started on marriedmansexlife. Find if funny that at 50 years old, I am just now starting to figure out my wife. More sex in the last few months than last year. Plus a much improved relationship with the wife. What’s not to like.

  13. Pingback: what i bring to the table | BbSezMore

  14. JustSomeGuy on said:

    OK, I’ll bite.

    I live somewhere on the border between the northeast and the midwest. I’m in my mid-30s, was married briefly but for far too long and like a number of folks my age took the red pill and found the manosphere as a result of, and an attempt to learn from that disaster.

    I don’t really frequent any particular sites as much as I jump around depending on how I’m feeling about life at any given moment, and would say that I lean more towards going my own way than getting back into (or staying in) the game. That said, I do know that if I jump back in I’ll do so with a much different outlook…

  15. Man, 33, been a long time reader of the ‘sphere’ -pook, roissy, etc.
    I enjoy your writing and I think what drew me in was your online dating articles.

  16. I’m not lurking, I’m skulking….

  17. 44, male from Phoenix, Arizona – I read Rational Male, Chateau Heartiste, Kane, Dalrock and DangerAndPlay. I appreciate the info in your post “The Power of the Manosphere”. I use Google Reader but presume that there are still far too many people who don’t use an RSS tool to stay current on great blog sites. I like your blog module with all your post titles.

  18. White. 40. Toronto. Alpha. Single. Lurker.

  19. Sorry if I’m not new (I’ve posted at least one comment so far) 🙂 Just saying hello.

    Great blog!!!!

  20. Oops, sorry: 50, single, Houston. 🙂

  21. Only just found this blog.
    Working my way through nomoremrniceguy book at the moment

  22. njartist49 on said:


  23. centerbound on said:

    Hey privateman, its Justin from working together last spring, love the blog and your sage wisdom, haven’t had much time to read other blogs, email me a list and I would definitely sign up but I enjoy getting your blog posts on my phone, I will be sure to contribute more!

  24. I’d comment if there was something to comment about 🙂

  25. Do i count as “new”?

  26. Lunchmeat on said:

    We can’t lurk effectively if you call us all out.

    36, northwest, discovered the sphere through Roissy, and then the Game, Mystery Method and God is a Woman (a great, funny book that should be the first thing you offer a blue-pill guy.) Now I read the less angry stuff. I’m more interested in human social dynamics and how all this is playing out.

    Before I learned “game” I had it naturally. . . then my marriage killed it, and of course ended. In the last five years my girlfriends have all been drawn to the same things that I now recognize as game/social dominance. I didn’t know what it was before, it was just how I was raised. And I’ve always had a mission (projects, business) that made chasing women a secondary concern for me.

    You’ve got got a great blog and you do a good public service. I appreciate a perspective a bit farther along than mine (I’ve learned a lot from senior men.) Keep it up!

  27. Monica on said:

    Okay, if you’re going to be like that then I’ll stop in and say hi. I haven’t before because I don’t think I’m really your intended audience (36 year old married woman) & don’t feel like I have much to add re: the red pill, dating & hooking up. But, I do enjoy reading your blog 🙂

  28. I completely disagree with the point of this article!

    … and thanks for sharing.

  29. Been lurking here awhile. Heard you on an AVfM podcast recently. Good show.

  30. Another lurker. You are doing fine work here, your posts are food for thought for the modern system of relationships which are rarely talked about.

  31. The Lurker on said:

    Seething lurker, drawn out of the shadows … Aghh! Bright light! Burns! Age 47 and married, unhappily (is there any other way?). Been absorbing and experimenting with game for the past few months. The stuff works! Who’d a thunk it? Great blog, I read it along with the usual suspects. I enjoy your (ahem!) mature man’s perspective on game and the Manoshere. Just my two cents, stop stalking Johnny Milfquest, its unseemly and a little creepy in a NAMBLAesque sort of way. And keep raging against the fatification of women! It seems everyone is too complacent on this issue, drives me batty. Keep up the good fight. Now get your lily white fingers to blogg’n, you attention whore terrorist!

  32. I don’t know if I count as new, but I appreciate all the helpful comments you’ve left on my blog and am gladly delurking at your request. 🙂

  33. Abydos on said:

    Yet another lurker reporting in. Found the site through Dalrock’s site.

    Details: Early-30s, single, never married, no kids. I suppose I’ve been a MGHOW for years without knowing it. I’ve had far too many fellow men warning me about the pitfalls of marriage…”it’s too late for me, but save yourself young man.”

    As they say, a wise man learns from his mistakes…an even wiser one learns from the mistakes of others. I heeded the advice of others.

    Keep up the good work!

  34. How much detail do you want?

    Right now, I am a 24 year old virgin who lives with his parents because the economy is horrible. This makes me sound worse than I am: I’ve had a dozen girls that wanted to start something and I rejected them, including a model and girls in LTRs. I’m just pretty damn socially conservative.

    I’m dating a girl right now, going on a couple months. Game works, right? She has a lot of positive attributes. Almost reminds me of a perfect girl next door.

    Except her sexual record. It’s bigger than I’d like (possibly double digits?). And eagerly given. It’s not alpha-filled, and she cut the men out of her lives first. I am, supposedly, the most alpha of the bunch. But, still. It’s off-putting.

    Can I get past that?

    Fuck if I know.

    If you want more details, feel free to ask.

  35. Ok – Female, 47, west coast. Found your blog and most of the others by chance nine months ago. Very helpful in understanding all social relationships and behaviors, both mine and in others; male and female.

  36. 108spirits on said:

    I never commented but read this blog from time to time, as I didn’t know that people that old still have sex.

  37. lemmiwinks on said:

    36 year old male from Vancouver, in the past I’ve had some success with women initially because of my looks but because of my beta nature I could never keep them long (other then one 7 year relationship). Up until In the past year I’ve never understood why I can’t keep a woman long or get ones who I know are giving strong me IOIs but since finding the manosphere I completely understand now. My game is not quite where I want it to be yet and I do actually want to have a ltr again but I’ve had sex with more women in the last year then I have in the rest of my life combined. My friends make fun of me for being a manwhore now and I guess there are worse things to be made fun of for. Any way I read most of the game blogs and like everything 90% of it is crap but it’s worth it for the 10%. I check this blog regularly.

    The saddest thing for me since taking the red pill is that I use to be such a nice guy.

  38. Johnycomelately on said:

    From down under, 35 years old, introduced to Roissy and the rest of the manosphere 4 years ago by a 19 year old trying to teach me how to get a threesome.
    Went through all the stages of grief typical of a beta taking the red pill, now just kicking back, cruising and enjoying the ride.

  39. My Name Is Jim on said:

    Off topic, there is a bar in my town that posts separate drink prices for men and women (yes, really, right on the menu). No need to say who pays more. I would go back and get pictures of the menu but didn’t exactly leave the impression I’d be back. I’m not normally the type to complain about the pussy pass in real life (it’s beta) but that’s a little blatant. When I noticed it, I handled it as a shit test. I told them I wanted them to bring me a drink at the female price or hand me the check, they of course did the latter. Place is always empty anyway, hope it goes under.

  40. Thanks everyone for posting comments so I didn’t have to make a bunch of fake ones by bouncing browsers off free proxies around North America.

    Or…did I?


  41. Pingback: Thanks Lurking Readers! (And Another Request) « The Private Man

  42. I find this blog to be a welcome source of affirmation and vindication. And I’d like to throw out a topic for feedback. It has to do with online dating and profiles. I live about an hour’s drive from the outer ring suburbs of a major metropolitan area. I’m continually baffled by women who bang on in their profiles about how they’ve ridden camels in the Sahara, skied in the Alps, hiked across the Brazilian rain forests. But they can’t POSSIBLY journey a half-hour north of the metro to meet someone for coffee. For, you see, that would involve TRAVEL. Idoan geddit.

  43. 1lettuce on said:

    Well PM, you know me: 26 and in Georgia. First took a dive into the manosphere last year, and appreciative of the newly gained knowledge. (and I’d blog more if I had any damn down time: grading 80 papers on social studies near damn tends to sap you)

  44. johnnymilfquest on said:

    I’m glad to see that you got your comment quota there Privateman.

  45. LostSailor on said:

    Okay, I’ll bite.

    51 in New York City, divorced for 3 years. Found the Red Pill via Roissy and then Roosh about a 1 1/2 years ago; read Susan Walsh, Badger Hut, and CollegeSlacker, till he disappeared.

    Your take on Game is much needed in the Manosphere, since some Game tactics for older guys are going to be different than for the youngsters.

    Since splitting with the ex (with whom I’m actually still friendly), and reading the Game blogs, I’ve realized that I used to practice it in my 20s without really knowing that I was doing it. Not that I didn’t have plenty of Beta tendencies, but I had just enough Game that they didn’t seem to matter. That continued for many married years, but gradually the Beta took over, the wife and I both grew fat, and I became disinterested. So much for nearly 18 years of marriage.

    Now, I’m 45 lbs lighter, dress better, and am enjoying as much female company as I have the time and inclination for. Had I discovered you and Roissy 5 or 6 years ago, it might have actually saved the marriage. Day Game is what I go in for (not that I’ve turned down the results of night Game in a bar or two). If calibrated correctly, it can work very well here in NYC. Some successful locations have been biking on Governor’s Island and Sunday’s at the Metropolitan Museum.

    Keep up the good work PrivateMan. It even sounds like a superhero name. (I’m assuming you don’t wear tights and a cape when you ride…)

  46. “Some Game tactics for older guys are going to be different than for the youngsters.”

    True that. And I agree with your comment about having practiced Game in your 20s without realizing it. As Rod Stewart sang: “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.” Grammatically ghastly, but you get the point.

    • LostSailor on said:

      As an older guy, I find I have to tone it down a bit when approaching. Roosh has come up with the perfect description of it: Don’t Scare the Cat…

  47. Celeste on said:

    22-year-old recently married female. Better wife as a result of reading so many blogs in the manosphere. Helping husband become a bit more alpha, results good for both of us.

  48. Hello,
    Foreigner, travel alot, got here via Roissy. Don’t like the terms RedPill/BluePill because they sound like codenames for Viagra.
    Ive got your blog in my blackberry feed reader so to open a webbrowser and post this is alot of work. Keep posting.

  49. Dammit almost missed it! …Was away on an awesome hiking trip.
    I’m, 30, single, from South Africa, discovered the ‘sphere/Game and took the red pill middle of last year after looking for a reason why my fiancee left me. (Cause I backslid into betaness, duhh)

    Enjoying the blog, it’s cool to see that when one gets older you don’t have to stop having fun/messing with the ladies.

  50. Pingback: Hey Lurkers! Yeah, I’m Talking To You… | Gmac's Black Book

  51. Dude, didn’t know you had a picture… I think…

  52. Hey Private Man – you actually reached out to me a few weeks back. I’m grateful. Yes, the red pill was in my hand. It has been ever since I was young(er). I swallowed it. The manosphere is my reward.

  53. Jimmy_Dean on said:

    Hello Private Man – I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your blog and the wisdom it dispenses. I have taken the red pill however, I find that it hasn’t fully digested yet. Nonetheless, I find reading your blog to be incredibly satisfying and look forward to your next post.

  54. Jimmy_Dean on said:

    Oh, btw, I’m 25, single, in Lubbock, TX.

  55. even though my concept is that “i write for myself”, i like the idea behind this post. we should all encourage each other, inspire each other, and seek to connect.

    congrats on all the comments!

  56. Pingback: Is this chick for real? « Rivelino in Spain

  57. Germany here. Working on mental reprogramming. Thanks for your efforts!

  58. I’m from the Northeast, I am an alpha male, my father is most certainly an alpha, I date an NFL cheerleader (yeah, I’m pretty cool) and I swallowed the red pill about 4 years ago. I was always alpha (athletic, charming, funny/sarcastic, outgoing, not afraid to go against the norm, etc.) but had some beta tendencies due to my public school/fem-centric rearing.

    Public schools are castrating males as we speak. I work in one now and cannot believe the shit these teachers (mostly female…especially in the young grades) force down these boys throats. In fact, if this sort of stuff interests you, read or youtube anything by John Taylor Gatto. Former NYC and NY state teacher of the year and critic of public schooling. He never refers to feminism in his writing but he talks A LOT about the obedience training that school really is. When you swallow the red pill, you start to wake up to a lot of this and see how it stunts the growth of boys and keeps them from ever becoming men. We have become a nation of obedient and predictable workers/consumers and it wasn’t an accident. Instead of being self driven and independent, we have a nation of young men who are utterly dependent on “experts” and who are scared to take any risks.

    I have really enjoyed your blog and appreciate the other links to different manosphere websites. I’d say my favorties include RooshV, Heartiste, Rationalmale, TheAlphaPersona, Delusion Damage and yours. Each guy sort of has his own specialty and some writing styles are better than others. Yours seems to come from a place of wisdom and practicality, which I definitely enjoy. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.

  59. P.S. I have yet to come across ANYONE in the manosphere criticizing schools and think it’s a huge part of why the men of our country are so pussified. Learn me something!

  60. Seething Lurker on said:

    Ha! Public schools! Try 12 years of Catholic schools. Thirty years later and I’m still putting my balls back together!

  61. Hi Private Man,

    A friend and I came across your blog a couple of weeks ago and we’ve been poring over it ever since. You and your crew of commenters have put together some insightful material. It’s top quality stuff!

    My name’s Chewie and I’m in my mid 20s. This is my first dispatch to you and to the Manosphere. It’s coming to you from a small town in South Korea. Despite the rural area, it has two bus lines to Seoul; I’ve gone there more times than I can count now. I’m an English teacher from the States who came over here for what would have been one year, but will be two years or longer. The people, the food, and especially the women are quite nice here. To those of you who have talked about going overseas, I say DO IT. Unlike where I’m from in the States, the women still have class and femininity. Skirts and stockings still hold sway over Pink sweatpants and hoodies. I’ve gotten more compliments and dates here than in the States. The Saturday night women in Seoul look more together than any of the girls I used to see in the States. And after reading/reviewing the excellent advice here, I think life is only going to get better. The Charisma’s been working well, but improvements can be made. Keep up the good work!

  62. an observer on said:

    Happily married, high gamma.

    Game the wife to stay in leadership.

  63. YetAnotherLurker on said:

    44-year-old male. Had one extremely LTR that was like a marriage, (but without a legal hassles), been single for several years since.

    Have really enjoyed reading this blog and various others, especially the comments by other readers. It’s always useful to try and learn from other people’s experiences, and hopefully save time by not making similar mistakes.

    Interesting topics, GREAT feedback and sharing of what others have learned. Rather hard to tear myself away from, honestly.

    Trying to absorb as much of the useful stuff as I can, without letting the occasional spumes of bitterness and misogyny (from some commenters who were obviously very badly burned) soak in too deeply.

    Enjoying the reading quite a bit, overall!

  64. Giantstepp on said:

    Fair enough so here is my comment. Single Black male, 44 from the DC area. Love the blog and I can relate to most of it’s content. Your writing style, the way you form your ideas come across as fair and seasoned experience, not emotionalism which I’ve gathered from some other blogs. I’ve read most of the archives and have caught up for the most part.

    Definitely a new fan …

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