The Private Man

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Attractive Women Approached More During the Day?

Big Debate! Comment Now!

Now that Roosh has released his latest book (buy it!) an old debate has resurfaced. Roosh’s book is focused on day Game in which men approach women in a non-bar or non-nightclub setting. For the specific tactics, you’ll need to read the book. Personally, I think day Game is great for guys over nightclub age. I am two full decades past nightclub shenanigans and pretty much rely on day Game, however it’s mostly in the evenings.

Roissy (Heartiste) reviewed the book and immediately the debate began. “Hot women get approached all the time.” is met with “Most men won’t approach hot women precisely because of the perception that hot women are approached all the time.” Or words to that effect. It’s an interesting debate because day Game is so qualitatively different from night Game.

I think that hot women are indeed approached quite often during the day but none of those approaches are serious. A catcall or “hey pretty lady!” is not an approach, it’s just a ham-fisted compliment delivered by the neanderthal class of men. Us cro-magnons are quite sophisticated, thankyouverymuch.

so I throw this to the readers – are hot women approached often during the day? This is one where anecdotal testimony from my female readers might actually be useful. Just bear in mind that anecdotes must be accompanied with: honest assessment of value in the sexual marketplace, demographic, and geographical location.

The Comment Lounge is officially open.


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21 thoughts on “Attractive Women Approached More During the Day?

  1. This is a loaded question, i think it would depend on many different factors, such as sobriety and what a person considers an actual approach.
    Say creeping a girl on the dance floor at a bar then dancing a bit with her. Is that considered an approach?
    Is striking a conversation with a pretty brunette in line at the DMV an approach? To the guy maybe, to the girl maybe not.

    I think an approach constitutes actually trying to close (phone number minimum). So opening a small conversation with a girl during the day can’t be considered an approach unless you attempt to close with her. And its more daunting trying to close in broad daylight when you’re both sober, because of the mentality that people will “see you” trying to pick up. And trying to close is way more frequent in the bar, especially at 1-2am when everyone is drunk off their ass and desperate.

    The guy who hits on 20 girls a night with his big brass balls may be more of a beta/timid once he’s sober, therefore needs the setting for the dim light and copious amounts of booze in order to gain the self confidence he needs.

    But anyways i’m repeating myself, i’d say the bar gets girls approached more often then in broad daylight.

    This coming from a guy who 90% of the time practices day game.

  2. Dannyfrom504 on said:

    Yes, of course they do. Cashiers, waitress’s…etc. They’re usually working and/or out and about.

    Opening is EASY, just throw out any throw away comment. If she responds keep at it and escalate when you can (though lightly….I know when I can). If you make a comment to her and she just smiles and says nothing… have one more shot. If the second volley fails: BAIL.

    Nothing hard about that.

  3. I learned a while ago that you are already halfway in if an attractive woman makes eye contact with you. The reason being that they’re “approached” so often that they have to work hard to avoid giving any hint of interest where it’s not wanted.

    One of the women I am dating was commenting on that exact thing the other night. Guys pacing her car at stop lights to try to get her attention and ham-handed attempts to talk to her on the street are commonplace things for her.

    The hot blond that tried to pick her up at a stoplight the other day did catch her off-guard though. I still give her shit about not considering my needs at all before blowing the girl off.

    BTW, I did enjoy your post a while back on situational openers. That’s played well for me. Hopefully Roosh’s book will do even more.

  4. Hot girls get approached all the time, all the time, even from other hot girls. It’s merely the good looking people get opened more, because the better looking and more pleasant looking you are, the more people want to talk to you.
    The miss-perception of being approached or not is hot girls will lack the understanding that any guy, and some girls, approaching them are ‘opening them’.
    Being good looking, even as a guy, you get more random chats and smiles, and flirtations on your day to day life then lesser attractive people get. It’s so common place that they don’t realize when they’re being approached, unless it’s an overt pick up attempt, which may happen less frequently for a hot girl going about her business during the day because of the perception of unattainability.
    I’ve been out with hot girls, and trust me, they get ‘hit’ on and propositioned, even with stupid head gestures and winks, even if she’s clearly with a man.
    Again, when girls say they aren’t approached because guys think they’re approached all the time, means, the guys THEY WANT to approach aren’t approaching them. The creeps and aggressive chumps with weak game aren’t considered approaches, but something to immediately forget because it frightens them or creeps them out.
    It’s the aloof cute guy going about his business and not eye stalking her or pacing (like the above example) that she wants to notice her and come talk to her.

    There is sometimes a case where you have the no guy asks me out because he assumes I’m so popular, but that’s usually just from the guys she wants to ask her out. This is why it’s important to learn game, stop the stalking, pacing, creepy vibing, nervousness, beauty worshipping, and learn to approach hot girls properly.

  5. just visiting on said:

    Well, up until 2 years ago, I’d say I was a solid 8. I’m a very young looking Scandanavian type. 42-28- 36(My economic situation hasn’t allowed for the maitenance required to keep up an 8 appearance so I’ve dropped to a 7) That’s by Canadian standards. Went to vegas 6 years ago and found out what celebrity status must feel like. Entourages formed.

    Canadian men are not as forward as American men, but I get approached. Not counting cat calls, approaches to actually try to get a number from me at one encounter are rare, but they happen. Usually it’s worked up to by men who encounter me a few times in the area. (I have a dog).

    Grocery stores and convenience stores would be next. For some reason, men are bolder in these venues.

    What I’ve found is that a lot of men will approach but start getting nervous and flustered. Back when I was married, I felt badly for them, but couldn’t offer encouragement. As a single person, I’ll try to smooth it over, but they seem to lose all confidence once they get flustered and give up. Which is too bad, because if a woman is trying to smooth it over and put you at ease, recovery is possible.

  6. johnnymilfquest on said:

    At the risk of sounding like a philosopher, what constitutes “an approach”?

    The genius of Roosh’s model is that you can have perfectly plausible conversations with women about trivia that don’t come off as romantic or sexual approaches at all.

    If she doesn’t dig you, neither one of you is embarrassed.
    If she does dig you, then you can ask her out for drinks.

    • Good point there is a good margin of safety in this method but I got to imagine it could conceal true intentions a lot and maybe make escalation or the true goal harder. All about finding a balance and what works for an individual.

    • If you don’t ask for a number, then it’s not an approach. It’s flirtation, or a cowardly way of saying, “I gave it a shot.”

      She’s gotta be able to say, “Yes or no” to the request for digits, or it doesn’t count.

  7. I have lived in huge cities for the past decades. I’ve been in huge shopping malls, large convention centers, and planes, trains, and automobiles. I have never seen a man try number closing a woman during the day.

    As with so many arguments had on the Internet, I can only ask: Where are the bodies? When is the last time you personally saw a man try number closing a girl he just met on public transportation? If you’re not seeing men trying to close women left-and-right, then what’s that say about Internet argument being at at Heartise?

  8. I’m with dangerandplay. I’ve never seen anyone do a legitimate cold approach on the street during the day.

    I did an informal Facebook poll among my female friends about how often they get hit on. The hotter girls (7+) seemed to get approached just as often as less attractive girls (5s and 6s). The party sluts were the ones that got approached the most. The “wholesome” girls reported getting approached the least.

    Seemed to me that how often a girl gets approached is more about the vibe a girl puts out than how hot she is. Of course, this was a very small sample size (maybe 20 girls), so I’m not sure if this is representative of the population at large.

  9. I think hot women receive a lot of sexual interest during the day. That doesn’t necessarily equal an approach though. Guys looking to get her number – no I do not think that happens to women much during the day. Guys acting extra nice to her to win her attention, and sexually validating her in one way or another – yes that is her constant reality.

  10. Haven’t seen the book, but if you hang out at any Starbucks you will have plenty of opportunities. You will also notice the quantity of bozo attempts on the attractive women bearing schoolbooks or laptops.

  11. Johnycomelately on said:

    What Donlak said.

    My cousin (SMV 9.9) used to be my wing and she’d get hit on ALL THE TIME but when I’d ask her about an approach, if the guy wasn’t in her field of vision she’d take it that he was just being ‘friendly’, whatever that means.

  12. I’m with D&P.

    I’ve never seen a cold approach on the street/train/grocery store/coffee shop/uni campus in my life.

    I’ve seen tons of guys smile, wink, nod and maybe a few who squeaked out a sentence or two before getting too nervous and walking away, but I have never seen a guy blatantly hit on a girl or ask for her number.

    I’ve been a waiter for 4 year, only once have I ever heard of a guy straight up hitting on one of the girls I’ve worked with.

    Now, I’ve seen lots of guys chatting up girls where they cross paths often, ie. university class together, dorm residences, working together, gym, common social circle, rec coed sports league, etc.

    But never through a straight cold approach.

  13. My short answer is I’ve stopped caring whether hot women get approached during the day. I approach women I’m interested in, day or night, and like Danny, see if they are interested in at least responding to me and take it from there.

    It helps that I have a slightly offbeat taste in women, so the women society tells me to be intimidated about approaching often aren’t the women I want to approach.

    “A catcall or “hey pretty lady!” is not an approach”

    Exactly, that’s the point I keep making to guys! Women get approached all the time day and night, but so few of those approaches are credible – and it’s sooo easy to make your approach credible and stand out.

  14. “The party sluts were the ones that got approached the most. The “wholesome” girls reported getting approached the least.”

    There’s this huge debate at Hooking Up Smart about why slutty women have boyfriends and wholesome girls play Scrabble on Saturday nights. I’ve made the point time and time again that it’s not as simple as the sluts are down for sex – the sluts are fun, happy, approachable, friendly, they reward men for spending time with them – not just with sex, but with a fun overall experience.

    And the “good girls” cry that they won’t dress nicer or be more flirty, because that’s what the “sluts” do and they want a man to “like them for them,” without realizing that alpha/dopamine behavior doesn’t make you a slut, even though sluts exhibit that behavior.

    • “I’ve made the point time and time again that it’s not as simple as the sluts are down for sex – the sluts are fun, happy, approachable, friendly, they reward men for spending time with them – not just with sex, but with a fun overall experience.”

      Good observation, as always.

    • just visiting on said:

      You’re a wise man badger, and I agree with you. I also understand the dillema of the women being cautious about how they present themselves. If you’re fun and sociable as well as attractive, there can be tendency to be cautious about how you dress. Other women might be hesitant to be sociable and play up their assets to send the message that they’re not sluts as well. Its counter productive, but it’s the times we live in.

  15. You’re right Badger.
    I talk to girls day/night all the time, doesn’t necessarily mean i’m approaching them, often i just want to chit chat, practice new things and what not.

  16. i really think guys over think this. an “open” is simply inviting a woman (or ANYONE) to have a chat with you. i don’t see it as a “pick up”. i see it as talking to some douche while getting through my day. i might successfully start a conversation and i might fail (it doesn’t really matter either way) and i might be happy i initiated the conversation and vice versa.

    again….ANY throw-away comment to the other person works. think of it like this……you’re at a sport’s bar, watching a football game. you comment on the game, some dude comments to your comment (or vice versa). a conversation will either happen or it won’t. sometimes you may regret starting the conversation…..sometimes you might make a friend.

    apply this SAME idea with women. you’re in line at the supermarket… look over what she’s buying, you say……”nutella, what is that exactly?” 99% of the time she’ll respond.

    you take it from there tiger (GEAUX TIGERS!!!!!!)

  17. AlekNovy on said:

    Roissy is a keyboard jockey, while Roosh is the real deal, this is why Roosh has real-world beliefs based on real world experience.

    The real world truth is that daytime is 10x easier, more efficient and productive. Aside from stroking ones ego, there really is no logic to night-time pickup. The only function it serves is impressing nerds.

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