The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “September 22, 2011”

A Woman’s Unique Online Dating Arbitrage Opportunity

Badger clued me in to this one via a comment over at Rollo’s blog. I heap major compliments on both of them for their excellent observations and keen writing skills.

I got email from (among others) a young woman who had a very dynamic, interesting [online dating] profile. The only thing I could add was, “put a statement about what you have to offer a man in a relationship.”

She pushed back, saying it sounded too “50′s housewife” or something like that. I repeated the advice and then went quiet. Modern women of all stripes have been steeped in feminism and “don’t take any shit from a man,” and are very averse to giving off any perception they are willing to humble themselves for men despite the fact they are by and large hungry for male attention.

It’s a major arbitrage opportunity for women who can swallow their pride for five minutes and actually play to men.

What he means by arbitrage in this context is that a woman can more easily sell herself to a high value bidder in the relationship marketplace, specifically the online dating relationship marketplace. A few sentences on why a woman would make a man’s life better, of what she offers, would vault her over the competition by leaps and bounds.

There are three huge challenges to overcome regarding this issue. Badger has already highlighted one. Feminism has created an awful expectation that women should never be humble to men that they should be strong and independent (code phrase for bossy and domineering). The sad irony is that the same women truly desire a man’s affection and attention. They just won’t allow themselves to

The second huge challenge is that a woman must have enough self-awareness to actually know what she offers in the context of dating and relationships. This is a tall order because outside of just being a woman, women have little understanding of what they should offer a man. The social expectation tells them one thing, a man’s biological imperative reacts to something completely different.

The last huge challenge is the men. We have at least two generations of men who have been socially conditioned to believe that StrongIndependentWomen™ are the most desirable. Worse, many men let the social expectation overrule their biological imperative that tells them to be more attracted to feminine women. In effect, many men must allow themselves to pursue feminine women.

Overcoming these challenges is not turning back the social expectation clock, it’s a matter of recognizing the power of the biological imperative and giving it more access to our conscious decisions regarding dating and relationships.

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