The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “September 21, 2011”

Expressing Irrational Self-Confidence

One of the Game axioms for men is that they be ridiculously self-confident. This is sage advice for men who have been saturated with the utterly toxic “be nice, be yourself” advice. It’s necessary to heave the self-confidence pendulum back in the other direction with a mighty shove.

Manifesting this self-confidence requires some canned lines and a wickedly confident presence and frame. It’s not easy but can be achieved with practice and a changed attitude.

Start small. When friends and acquaintances extend an informal greeting, it’s usually in the form of “How ya doing?” Most of us revert to the standard “doing well”. Such a greeting is a perfect way to express some ridiculous self-confidence.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m doing incredibly well!” Stated with a firm tone of voice. That’s some strong presence and frame, right there.

Take it up notch.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m spectacular!” Note the use of the adjective instead of the adverb. This response becomes a boast. It’s over the top for a reason because there is an element of humor in the response.

Such responses call attention to you and the nature of informal greetings and how no one really listens to the response. Using such self-confident responses takes you out of the masses. That’s always a good thing for men. It takes practice and a new state of mind. When a man consistently uses expressions of self-confidence in simple greetings responses, it’s a huge sign that the Red Pill is at work.

For interactions that occur on a regular basis outside of work, being humorously assholish occasionally works well for the nice guys. It must be pulled off with good humor, however. For example, the sushi bar where I often go has one particular bartender, a cute 20-something chick, to whom I am usually polite… usually.

I walked in yesterday evening and sat down at the bar. The cute bartender looked at me expectantly.

“Beer me.”

“That’s it? No ‘Hello’, no ‘how are you doing’?” For a brief instant she seemed serious. I knew better because of my familiarity with her.

“Kirin Ichiban.” (It’s a nice, dry beer.)

“Not even a ‘please’?”

“Nope” But I was smirking at this point. That’s crucial.

“You’re so rude, Private Man!” She had a huge smile on her face.

“And be quick about it.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

At this point, everyone in the place cracked up, especially the cute bartender. I received my beer with a huge smirk on my face, knowing that I’ve mastered the scene and scored big with general humorous uproar. It all took a great deal of self-confidence and being comfortable with the people and atmosphere at a regular hang-out.

Self-confidence can also be quite well expressed non-verbally. It’s been posted on other Manosphere sites so the details are not necessary. Just consider posture and physical presence when sitting and walking. Consider the upturn of the head and not the eyes cast down. When I walk around the office, I make a point never to look down when I walk past other people. Women, in particular, will note and non-verbal expression of confidence.

Here’s the take away for guys: You actually want people to notice you. Not shying away from attention is a confident move. Mystery has his furry hat and black fingernail polish. For a man over a certain age, that’s not necessary. What is necessary is that he carries himself in such a way that he is noticed when he enters the room. While being the most interesting man in the world would be the zenith of Game, just standing out from the crowd is a good start.

You’re welcome.

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