The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “August 16, 2011”

The Broken Gender Social Contract

The Hooking Up Smart blog and subsequent comments always yields wisdom in regards to the gender dynamic in the context of dating and relationships. To wit:

Just like women are supposed to look thin and pretty, men have to show status and good character.

In that simple quote, the commenter has nicely summarized the working social contract between the sexes. But that contract is seriously broken. Women are no longer expected to act in a feminine manner. I don’t really care who broke that contract (cough, feminism, cough) it’s the reality of the situation. With such a broken contract, we have Marriage 2.0 and Dating 2.0 (Sometimes called Darwin Dating or Combat Dating).

The worst part is that men are still expected to perform their responsibilities as defined by that broken social contract. Work hard, be a provider, sacrifice for women and family, blah, blah, blah… Most men still labor under the terms of the contract. Yet there are increasing numbers of men who understand that the contract is broken and these are the men turning to Game and Pick Up Artistry (PUA) and the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) strategy. Others are simply going ghost and expatriating. These are the Red Pill men.

Looking at a bit of social history, there was an attempt to change the man’s side of the social contract. Back in the 70s and on into the the 90s, there was a lot of media blather regarding men becoming more sensitive. We had prominent men – Alan Alda and Phil Donohue, for example – extolling men to be more in touch with their feelings. Many women complained (and still do) that men need to find their softer sides. The logic behind such changing expectations made perverse sense. If women were liberated to be more masculine, men should be liberated to be more feminine.

We all know how well that went. “Where are all the real men?” the women shouted from the rooftops when they realized that a generation of girlie-men had been created. For a decade or more we had men trying to be touchy-feely new age sensitive guys. Even now, there are legions of men still trying (and often succeeding) to emasculate themselves in order uphold a social expectation in order to rewrite the man’s side of the social contract. The Good Men Project is a perfect example of this. The worst video ever is another great example.

It’s not going to work. The masculine attracts the feminine. The feminine attracts the masculine. Red Pill men know this. It’s biology. It can’t be washed over with social expectations. This is highly annoying to the blank-slaters who still cling to the notion that practically every gender-based behavior is a social construct.

In today’s times of Marriage 2.0 and Dating 2.0, we’re left with three groups of men responding to the broken social contract.

1. Red Pill men who know the contract is broken and have responded accordingly (PUA, MGTOW, etc.)

2. Blue Pill men who know the contract is broken and have responded by attempting to become more feminine (manginas) or who continue to pedastalize women (white knights)

3. All the others (the majority) who sense something is broken in the social contract but can’t quite figure out how to respond.

It’s the last group of men who are in need of some simple education. They need to be taken aside, away from women and Blue Bill men, and told some basic truths that everyone in the Manosphere knows.

I strongly believe that Red Pill men have a moral duty to spread the word and educate the men – especially the younger men – who haven’t quite figured out that the social contract is broken. Sure, there are blogs to read but face to face conversations work the best for men. Personally, I am still working on a class for men to teach them the realities of women versus the lies and misconceptions as told by social expectations. If I can ever figure out the marketing angle, it will be a funny, entertaining, and profoundly educational class.

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