The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “August 8, 2011”

A Woman’s Unspoken Rule On Intimacy

Men should know this: Before a woman is intimate (physically or emotionally) with a man she is actively looking for reasons to reject him.

Note the emphasis on actively.

She’s making a mental note of a man’s physical, emotional, intellectual, and other qualities in order to find a reason to reject him. Many of those reasons might seem quite ridiculous to men who haven’t taken the red pill.

What women fail to understand is that by actively looking for reasons to reject most often ends with finding a reason for rejection. Consider the OKCupid statistic that women find more than 80% of men unattractive and that’s based on merely a photo. From an evolutionary psychology point of few, this makes sense. Women must really seek the best DNA for their offspring and life was damned difficult for hunter gatherers. Weakness, physical or mental, usually lead to an early death.

Before the rise of agriculture, it’s very likely that the few men who fit the bill had their pick of the women. Even in our contemporary industrial civilization, women still look to the few men who meet all the requirements. Hypergamy has been unleashed so that women are free to mate with only the selected few men. What Red Pill men know is that mating has little to do with committing. Women conveniently forget this when doing the mating.

Here comes another dilemma that women face should the man have enough positive things about him that allow the woman to accept intimacy. Her first instinct (and it does seem to be instinctual, no?) is to try to “fix” the man. Whatever bad habits he might have are the target for “civilizing” through the woman’s influence – complaining, nagging, and withholding of sex. Woe be unto the man who is successfully repaired by the woman in his life. A successful fix results in her loss of respect for him.

Normally, a woman would screech “NAWALT!” (Not All women Are Like That) when faced with this type of discussion. And while she might not be like that, the vast majority of women are indeed like that, especially regarding the almost always negative evaluation of men. As a counter to this prevailing attitude, the dating coach business has developed. Given the merciless nature of capitalism, the approach of those dating coaches must be successful or there won’t be any further business. Any dating coach who advises clients to “be nice and be yourself” (for men) and “be strong and independent” (for women) will be out of business quite soon.

The good dating coach must carefully deflate a female client’s ego to get her to be more open to meeting different types of men and stop the generally negative evaluation of men. But such a deflation must be done with great care and with many empty words of praise for the client. A fat, entitled, bossy, and domineering woman over 45 years old must be a terrible challenge for a dating coach.

Online dating makes the situation worse. With so many profiles of men (all of them being generic) it becomes so easy for a woman to say “next, next, next” when perusing profiles. These two young women perfectly display the internal thoughts of most women looking at online dating websites. [update – the video is now private, sorry guys. It showed two not-so-attractive women “evaluating” profiles on Plenty of Fish. It was quite alarming in how they quickly went from profile to profile, heaping scorn and derision on what they were seeing on the computer monitor.]

What women should be doing instead of finding reasons for rejecting is finding reasons for accepting. Of course, that would put a lot of dating coaches out of business. Frankly, I like dating coaches and I wish all them success because dating coaches are dispensing a lot of Red Pill advice.

Blue pill men will likely fail at online dating because they don’t know this unspoken rule that women employ.

Post Navigation