Her Reasons For Breaking Up
I have no TV.
I surf blogs.
I especially surf blogs written by young women claiming to give dating advice. It’s righteously funny stuff.
So, I run across this young woman’s blog and she has a list: “15 signs he really loves you”
No, this is a list of 15 signs of why she will break up with you.
Gentlemen, if you want to get your girlfriend to break up with you, do the things below:
1. Instead of texting, he actually calls.
2. He uses the pronoun “we” with regularity.
3. He takes allergy medication so he can hang with your cat.
4. He let’s you watch “Real Housewives” even when his team’s playing.
5. He knows your favorite flower.
6. He knows you secretly like Justin Bieber and he hasn’t told a soul.
7. He lets you have the aisle seat.
8. He likes looking at your baby pictures.
9. He remembers the dates of important occasions, like your birthday, the day you met, and when the newest season of “Mad Men” starts.
10. He puts up with your most annoying friends without complaining (too much).
11. He puts up with your crazy family without complaining (too much).
12. He talks about his feelings with you.
13. He introduces you to his mom and she already knows a lot about you.
14. He remembers stuff you said way back when you first started dating.
15. He says so (even when he doesn’t want something from you).
NEVER, EVER LISTEN TO DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM A WOMAN UNLESS SHE ACKNOWLEDGES THE UNIVERSAL FLAWS IN WOMEN.