The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Her Reasons For Breaking Up

I have no TV.

I surf blogs.

I especially surf blogs written by young women claiming to give dating advice. It’s righteously funny stuff.

So, I run across this young woman’s blog and she has a list: “15 signs he really loves you”

Huh?!?!

No, this is a list of 15 signs of why she will break up with you.

Gentlemen, if you want to get your girlfriend to break up with you, do the things below:

1. Instead of texting, he actually calls.

2. He uses the pronoun “we” with regularity.

3. He takes allergy medication so he can hang with your cat.

4. He let’s you watch “Real Housewives” even when his team’s playing.

5. He knows your favorite flower.

6. He knows you secretly like Justin Bieber and he hasn’t told a soul.

7. He lets you have the aisle seat.

8. He likes looking at your baby pictures.

9. He remembers the dates of important occasions, like your birthday, the day you met, and when the newest season of “Mad Men” starts.

10. He puts up with your most annoying friends without complaining (too much).

11. He puts up with your crazy family without complaining (too much).

12. He talks about his feelings with you.

13. He introduces you to his mom and she already knows a lot about you.

14. He remembers stuff you said way back when you first started dating.

15. He says so (even when he doesn’t want something from you).

NEVER, EVER LISTEN TO DATING AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM A WOMAN UNLESS SHE ACKNOWLEDGES THE UNIVERSAL FLAWS IN WOMEN.

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21 thoughts on “Her Reasons For Breaking Up

  1. Looking Glass on said:

    I think #5 would be just solid information to have, in the event you actually do want to buy her flowers (and could save you 30 bucks too, as you need just 1).

    A few are neutral, most are bad signs. I think #8 is kind of creepy. #14 just implies is bad to have a memory? Odd thing to say. #13 actually could be horribly, horribly negative, she didn’t say that the parents liked you, lol.

    • Castle on said:

      So now looking at baby pictures is creepy too. For fucks sake, this word needs to be retired, it’s the most overused word on the internet right now.

  2. Ellen on said:

    Actually, assuming that he’s, oh, maybe a present day James Bond, all those things are great. 😉

  3. johnnymilfquest on said:

    Yes, there is a massive disconnect between what women honestly believe that they want romantically or sexually and what they actually respond to in real life.

    The romantic part is hard to study scientifically, but psychologists have discovered that while men are physically aroused by the things they actually report being aroused by, there is very little connection between reported arousal and actual arousal in females.

    I should have bookmarked that study. I’ll try to track it down on Google.

    • I’d love to read that study. I’ll bet that Roissy has already mentioned it. If not, it would make a great scoop for my blog. Or yours.

    • superenigma on said:

      It is strange. You would think that there was something horribly immoral about what women find attractive by the way the facts are hidden (and some manosphere commenters really seem to think this, but I don’t). I always thought of women as more in touch with their feelings, but are they just lacking in self-awareness?

  4. 1lettuce on said:

    Ugh, god…

    I remember going to dating sites run by gals trying to get advice. I’d read through shit like this, and wonder why I was single and not getting laid.

    For any guy who wants dating advice, I’d send them to Game sites (and have). For the quick version though, I’d take this list and tell guys to do the exact opposite of these rules. Don’t put up with her shitty friends, crazy family, and her bossiness. the only rule I could really agree with would be Number 9 for Birthdays.

  5. Ms_Fu on said:

    OH MY GOD.

    I’m speechless. What a terrible woman. May no man be cursed with her. To think that she may marry an alpha who softens and wants to do kind things for her once in a while.

    Honestly, I wouldn’t expect most of these things from a potential husband, though they would be nice.

  6. robertson on said:

    I dunno. Some of these are a bit much, but I have several of these down, and my wife appreciates them, and I get laid plenty. I agree with Athol about mixing some of the beta with the alpha. Knowing her favorite flower or remembering key dates are point-getters that don’t lower your status in any way.

  7. wingman on said:

    I would add to the list: you gotta love the poor bastards at a bar, holding a purse as their GF goes to ladies room. Guys – never hold a purse. Ever.

  8. superenigma on said:

    What is the point of refusing to hold your long-term girlfriend’s purse?

    • While holding a purse might seem innocuous to you, it’s a vague shit test in order to see if the long-term boyfriend (or husband) will do something not so masculine. If he refuses, the “you’re just being silly” or, “don’t be ridiculous” responses are given but she’ll unconsciously ratchet up her level of respect for him . If he takes the purse, she’s pulled a dominant maneuver and the respect for him is unconsciously ratcheted down.

  9. robertson on said:

    I think that’s a fair point. superenigma makes. I understand what you are saying, Privateman, but at the same time isn’t there some overlap between a reasonable request and a shit test. They’re not always shit tests. I think something like that can be a shit test if done early on and if there’s a pattern. But if my wife has her hands full and needs to do something, I don’t overthink it. I think one can get a bit obsessed looking at everything as a possible shit test.

  10. wingman on said:

    Sorry guys – the holding the purse thing is one of the lamest and most enduring of shit tests. You mean when they left the house with the purse, they’re thinking they have to find someone to watch it every time they go to the loo? They’re not thinking that. They assume they bring their purse with them at all times. It is literally a shit test, and I’ve seen plenty of lame-assed dudes actually holding a purse, looking rather emasculated.

    Worst case scenario, if you must, put it on the floor under the table, but make a remark – “sure sweetie pie, but give me a second… since you’re going over there, maybe you could bring my jockstrap and give it a rinse”.

    • The worst part when she is shoe shopping or clothes and the guy is requested to hold the purse. It’s the “my man’s a beta” double down. Why the fuck is he with her when she’s shopping for shoes or clothes?

      • Well, the shopping part makes a bit more sense – I will go shopping with my fashion-retarded wife to pick clothes for her that *I* like. Otherwise it would be capris, flip-flops, and baggy sweatshirts.

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