The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

My New Dog – The Game Changer

Through some interesting turns of events involving an ex-girlfriend, I have very recently come into the possession of a dog. It’s a medium/small female mutt about three years old. She has a good personality and is extremely well trained. The dog, “Lucy”, is on long-term loan or perhaps a permanent acquisition. The ex-girlfriend in question is an extremely conscientious dog owner and took very good care of Lucy. I also knew Lucy from when we were dating and I really do like this dog.

So now I have a well-trained canine to assist in my day/night Game efforts in the village. I took Lucy for a walk just now and it took a matter of seconds for a couple of milfs with kids in tow to approach me while waiting to cross a busy street. As the dog is a mix of breeds with a unique, brindle coloration, she does get attention. But there is one problem.

Lucy is an ugly dog.

She’s not hideously ugly, but she’s not an attractive at all. But as I am good with words, I have already learned how to turn this to my advantage during my one short walk alone with her.

“Oh, your dog is so cute!”

[Pause, look away]. “No, Lucy is, well, [pause again]. Lucy is ugly [depressed and disappointed tone of voice].

Holy crap, those milfs were laughing hard.

A half hour later, I walk past them again.

“Here’s that cute dog again.”

As I pass them, I yell over my shoulder, “No, she’s ugly!”

I could still hear one of the milfs laughing above the sounds of traffic as Lucy and I walked on.

As I was sitting on the famous bench in the Village, I got to thinking of some humorous commands to give to my new canine companion in order to get some laughs from the women who will stop to “admire” this not-so-attractive dog:

Lucy, vote! Vote for a viable Republican presidential candidate!

Raise the debt ceiling!

Pay my bar tab!

[Ricky Ricardo voice] Lucy, you got some ‘splaining to do. (Hey, I’m off a certain age to remember that TV show)

Dang, this could be more fun than online dating.

A dog is better than a fuzzy, black hat for day and night Game peacocking. This goes double for an ugly dog.

I may not be blogging as much.

Update from my South African friend… “so now you have golf handicap”

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5 thoughts on “My New Dog – The Game Changer

  1. Gorbachev on said:

    Dogs are pickup gold. It doesn’t get better.

    Especially if it’s an interesting-looking dog that behaves well.

  2. johnnymilfquest on said:

    Dogs are fantastic conversation starters. Humans are wary of other humans, but a significant proprtion of us love dogs. Instant icebreaker. I miss my exes dogs and I’m considering getting a staffie when my finances improve a bit.

    Good point about the debt ceiling btw. Politicians can be relied upon to raise it every year as sure sure as puppies have accidents.

  3. my dog will actually pee when he gets excited (he only does this with girls). and EVERY girl he’s pee’d on will brush off the fact of what he’s done. “oooooh, he’s just excited, don’t worry about it.” REALLY. lol.

  4. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Something Something Edition

  5. Pingback: My Dog Is Ugly « The Private Man

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