The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

“You Can Do Better”

Remember this post of video of the two girls commenting on the online dating profiles of men? It is disturbing and unpleasant but every red-pill man who is single needs to revisit that video on a regular basis.

A woman recently responded to a message I had sent her on plenty on PoF. Her response was quite enthusiastic. There is more here.

We had a brief chat on the phone to set up an ice cream date. In the course of the phone conversation she revealed that she and her friends often went through online dating profiles and the messages that she received from guys like me.

Suddenly, it occurred to me. Online dating for women can be a social experience. The woman with the profile invites her coterie of friends over and they all go through the incoming messages and review profiles together. It’s a gab-fest, laugh-fest, bitch-fest complete with drinks and appetizers.

Consider the feminine social dynamic of such an event – call it the “profile review session” – and the thought of a group of slightly drunk and likely bitter group of women. One woman is looking for love, sex, excitement, whatever and the Greek chorus is right there with her with this constant refrain:

“You can do better.”

Another profile pops up. Laughter ensues. By the way guys, this is your profile they are all laughing at. Again, the four words.

“You can do better.”

This happens over and over and over. It’s negative reinforcement on an 80 proof scale. With a group of women all finding reasons to reject a profile, then no profile is approved.

(Basic rule about woman and dating applies here – before she’s intimate with a man, she’s looking for reasons to reject him.)

Then the escalation occurs.

“You deserve better.”

Such a wretched, miserable word, “deserve”. It’s the word that infects dating and courtship like flesh-eating bacteria. Yet the word is tossed around more than a hacky-sack at a Phish concert (hey, I’m old, sue me).

The women continue on, the alcohol having its affect. The man-bashing commences with earnest and their attention is diverted to something more meaningful, like those awesome cupcakes in the kitchen. This is where the diet rationalization hamster gets to spinning its wheel with vigor.

What the boozy broads haven’t realized is that they’ve run out of profiles. Every man was rejected, every… single… one. As the cupcakes are consumed a general consensus is reached. Being single, fat, and unhappy is somehow empowering.

Advice for women doing the online dating thing: Don’t invite your friends over while you review messages and profiles.

Dalrock has some similar commentary on this issue, here.


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8 thoughts on ““You Can Do Better”

  1. Thanks for the linkage. They even have commercials for online dating where the woman evaluates men with her girlfriends present. Just more judging the performance instead of recognizing that the process is mutual.


  2. anonymous on said:

    they can do better, until they can’t. housing and internet stocks always go up, until they don’t.

  3. Martini on said:

    Sounds like harmless fun to me…but aren’t you doing the same thing as the girls?

    Every date, every woman, every ad is analyzed here and high-fived or nayed by the dudes.
    Each woman you date gets a number assigned to her face and body and you try to get phone numbers from other women while you’re on dates because “you can do better.”

    You’re just having a good time with all of this…so are they.

    (when the hen party breaks up, I wouldn’t doubt that they in fact, do, respond to a few of the ads)

    • I think the point is that women are just as superficial and evil as men. No need to put them on pedestals.

    • Mark on said:

      I don’t think most guys are trying to get dates with other women when they already have a woman because they want to do better than what they currently have. I think it’s more that a lot of guys just like variety and would like to have sexual access to several women at once. That’s a little different than a woman who remains celibate for long periods of time while rejecting guy after guy as not good enough. The average guy who tries to have a personal harem and the average woman who sits around waiting for Mr. Perfect are probably both being unrealistic, just in different ways.

  4. Mark on said:

    I’ve been on Match for a couple years. Several of the women who went out with me one time when I first went on and decided I wasn’t good enough to see again are still sitting out there a couple years later waiting for Mr. Perfect to come along. I wonder how many guys have they rejected as not being good enough? One woman I remained friends with after she decided she didn’t want to date. She still doesn’t have a guy two years later. She told me recently she emailed a hundred men on Match and didn’t get a single response. Out of a thousand guys, I bet she probably emailed the hundred handsomest ones even though she’s a plain Jane herself and had no chance with any of them. I’m beginning to think a lot of women are just delusional about who they can get. They are never going to get the guy they want unless it’s for a one night stand and then after he dumps them they’ll complain on their profile that they are “tired of games” and “players”. I think these women are really quite funny and I’m very much entertained by them.

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