The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Greatest First Date Question Ever

By way of an introduction to this post, I once again salute the Manosphere and its many and varied bloggers, commenters, and readers. The collective wisdom of men is vast and with the ‘Net, information is shared quickly.

While reading the Badger’s blog, I found a cross post from a blog by a fellow named VK. VK is obviously a younger guy but his first date question suggestion is so perfectly, fantastically brilliant that it shows the wisdom of a man much older.

This first date question – and the rationale behind it – should be spread around the Manosphere widely and quickly.

“So what do you think about the other guys you’ve dated in [your town] so far?”

The question seems relatively innocuous until you read the follow up behind it. I’m quoting VK mostly but with a few edits to make it more readable:

If you listen closely enough to her answer, she’ll basically tell you a list of traits of the guys that have dicked her over have. If she say’s something like, “most of the guys I’ve dated are needy and insecure or too clingy” this lets you know to be the opposite and be a detached alpha. If she says that most of the guys she’s dated are “too macho, arrogant, and full of themselves”, this allows you to fall back and try not to brag too much about your accomplishments and even show a more feminine side.

The point is to use this information to appear “different” from all the other guys she’s dated. Nothing turns a girl on more than dating a type of guy thats new or she thinks she’s never dated before. Even if you are like all the other guys she’s dated, you can put on something of a front.”

(By the way, it’s your own business if you want to put up a front just to pitch some successful woo.)

There is also another benefit to this question. I won’t give that away. Consider it an intellectual exercise for the savvy man to work through.

VK’s wisdom gets better with some further analysis. Naturally, the woman will ask you the same question. Your response must be something like this:

“I’ve been really lucky, I’ve met a lot of cool, interesting and smart women. I’m even friends with some of them still. But I’ve heard some horror stories from my friends, it seems that a lot of girls out there like to play games or are just crazy”

As VK says quite accurately – “It’s not your turn to list the traits of all the stuck up girls that have screwed you over. Guys complaining about other women on dates give off the possible serial killer, probable date rape vibe.” This is key. NEVER complain about the women you have dated. Never, ever, ever. Use the mythical “friends” as a sockpuppet.

Why such a question? Read the reason and let the epiphany wash over you:

This answer again does two things. It makes you appear to date a lot of hot, cool chicks while giving off the impression that some of them were good enough to keep around and still are. This will bring up the competition juice in your date to check herself and see if she measures up to the women of your pass. You bring in the comment about your friend though as a way of letting her know all the undesirable traits you don’t expect her to have. Flaking on dates, returning texts in an unreasonable amount of time, playing games… whatever you can think of.

VK gets serious credit for his logic and reason regarding this.


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8 thoughts on “Greatest First Date Question Ever

  1. Thanks for the linkage. This is choice stuff by VK.

  2. Nice question, one I was even asking before I learnt Game as a conscious art form.

    Mental exercise? See if she’s bitchy about exes, happy to talk about them, how much she talks about them, or not talk about them but in an evasive manner etc etc
    A lot can be learnt from it once you know what to read into

  3. Steve on said:

    I would do this:
    Me: “So, what are some of the opposite characteristics you really would love to see in a guy you date”
    Her: “Well, I would like a guy who is loyal…”
    Me: “You mean like me! What else would you love?” (cocky funny and I would use the word “love” so she would use it)
    Her: “Well, I would love a guy who is confident.”
    Me: “Me! again What else!”
    Her “I would love a guy who is not too full of himself”
    Me: “Me again, I am not TOO sure of myself! Just kind of sure of myself!” (she is saying “I would love” and you are saying “me”. This has to make her smile and give her a tingle.)

  4. Centerbound on said:

    Private man, Justin here! (I think it’ll give my user name of Centerbound, and for you to know why I picked that, it means I am bound toward the center of the legs!!! lol , fyi 🙂 Good post I think, I will be calling you in a bit to find out that second reason for the question. As you know, I’ve been reading a lot to give you reviews of the extensive collection of books I have…. and also, I have been sharing your blog with other PUA communities, so I am sure you’ll get 100,000 hits sooner than later, we’ll have a beer together when that happens, how bout that? I love the idea of turning it around when she ask you the same question. I think it’s a something every novice should know, but we all need reminding now and again about simple things like this to create instant attraction. Complicated stuff will come, but get this simple stuff and novices should be fine and well on their way!

  5. Meinin on said:

    Wow. Good tactic, wrong direction.

    You guys must be REALLY young.

    That IS a good first date question. The answers you SHOULD be listening for are : does she have Daddy Issues (Run). Has she sent anyone to prison, or attempted to, or (ha-ha) have “a friend” that did? (Run. Fast) . Does her break up history include any police involvement or money issues? Does she have a rape story?(Do I REALLY need to comment?) Are her parents divorced, and did her mother really screw over her dad?

    Seriously, you guys should be looking six steps ahead with your back covered at all times. I don’t want to throw cold water on anyone’s good time…but if I don’t, SOMEone else will…and SHE won’t be nice about it.

    Signed, My Brother’s In Prison On A False Accusation

  6. Michel on said:

    How do you guys go about the dynamic between her parents?

    It’s tough to filter out any red flag because you see the parents for only a brief time, if you ever do, and that short period of time wouldn’t be enough to observe whether the mother bosses around the father or not.

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