The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The Aspiring Alpha Orbiter

In the process of the transition from beta to aspiring alpha to alpha, men are constantly told to stop being an orbiter. An orbiter is usually a hapless beta (or average frustrated chump) who circles around a girl hoping to get in her good graces (her pants) by being the supportive white knight “friend”. For beta men, I continue giving the same advice: Don’t be the orbiter who simply gets exploited for heavy lifting, attention, and emotional support.

Once a man has taken the red pill of wisdom regarding women, I believe strongly there is value in being a type of orbiter. I am not suggesting the white knight behavior of the beta orbiter. I am suggesting that the aspiring alpha spends time with women in a platonic sense for two reasons – introductions to other women and the opportunity to continue the learning process about women in the context of dating and relationships.

To get introductions to other women and the likely preselection is common sense. Having a few women friends means access to different social circles. It really doesn’t matter if your goals are for short term or long term relationships, those female friends of friends represent a target rich environment. Even if you shag some of these dames and the word gets out that you’re a player, it’s simply a form of preselection and the other females will let you pursue them despite what other females might say about you. “He’s such a player” is a huge compliment to you and not at all off-putting to the other women. As well, being a savvy orbiter could very well get you some prequalification.

If you’re looking for a long term relationship, your female friends will likely be more honest about those other female friends. A female confident will be the first to state if one of her friends is a skank or a woman of quality. Just be aware of ulterior motives and hidden agendas. Your female friend might just be cockblocking. Being a good orbiter takes some knowledge.

Another good reason to be an aspiring alpha who orbits around certain women is the opportunity to learn. Consider this analogy: A visit to the monkey house in the zoo is entertaining but without real knowledge, you have no idea why the cute macaque is flinging poo. However, a man learning primatology might know why the monkeys fling poo. This would make his visit to the zoo more about learning than entertainment.

The aspiring alpha is the primatologist and the zoo is the circle of female friends that he orbits around. There is nothing more valuable to learning about female gender than a woman whose guard is down and is speaking freely. It’s a double value if a group of women are talking about men, dating, and relationships and you, as a safe orbiter who has red pill knowledge, can see women in a relative new (and accurate) light.

One of the downsides to being such an orbiter is that it’s very easy to fall back on beta habits. Resist those urges enough and you may find yourself being seen in a whole new way by those women around whom you orbit. You might find yourself in a hot, sweaty bedroom romp with one of them. Bonus!

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5 thoughts on “The Aspiring Alpha Orbiter

  1. Great article on orbiters.

    For the purpose of learning or being introduced to other girls,would be the only exception to being platonic friends.

    Social proofing and being introduced to a girl’s social circle is vital to social game.

    But Got damn I hate orbiters!

    They’re in the fuccing clubs,online(Facebook),bars,etc.

  2. The Quest For 50 on said:

    Great insight. I’ve had success with this, both practical and educational, as recently as this week.

  3. My Name Is Jim on said:

    Okay go ahead and listen to learn, but IME it’s tougher to do it correctly than it appears at first. You have to be sure you can stay in your own mental frame and understand them by reading what they say between the lines and observing their actions and behaviors. I.e., do not just treat it like most other kinds of taking in information and just take it at face value. The trouble is this for most guys is not easy to do, because staying in frame takes that much more mental skill and energy. Even a typical guy with some game knowledge will fall into letting their frame take up space in his head, if he listens to them for longer than a few minutes. Some of their assumptions and view of the world is bound to creep in and once you’ve let them do that, you’re slipping back into the beta vortex.

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