The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “June 12, 2011”

The Aspiring Alpha Orbiter

In the process of the transition from beta to aspiring alpha to alpha, men are constantly told to stop being an orbiter. An orbiter is usually a hapless beta (or average frustrated chump) who circles around a girl hoping to get in her good graces (her pants) by being the supportive white knight “friend”. For beta men, I continue giving the same advice: Don’t be the orbiter who simply gets exploited for heavy lifting, attention, and emotional support.

Once a man has taken the red pill of wisdom regarding women, I believe strongly there is value in being a type of orbiter. I am not suggesting the white knight behavior of the beta orbiter. I am suggesting that the aspiring alpha spends time with women in a platonic sense for two reasons – introductions to other women and the opportunity to continue the learning process about women in the context of dating and relationships.

To get introductions to other women and the likely preselection is common sense. Having a few women friends means access to different social circles. It really doesn’t matter if your goals are for short term or long term relationships, those female friends of friends represent a target rich environment. Even if you shag some of these dames and the word gets out that you’re a player, it’s simply a form of preselection and the other females will let you pursue them despite what other females might say about you. “He’s such a player” is a huge compliment to you and not at all off-putting to the other women. As well, being a savvy orbiter could very well get you some prequalification.

If you’re looking for a long term relationship, your female friends will likely be more honest about those other female friends. A female confident will be the first to state if one of her friends is a skank or a woman of quality. Just be aware of ulterior motives and hidden agendas. Your female friend might just be cockblocking. Being a good orbiter takes some knowledge.

Another good reason to be an aspiring alpha who orbits around certain women is the opportunity to learn. Consider this analogy: A visit to the monkey house in the zoo is entertaining but without real knowledge, you have no idea why the cute macaque is flinging poo. However, a man learning primatology might know why the monkeys fling poo. This would make his visit to the zoo more about learning than entertainment.

The aspiring alpha is the primatologist and the zoo is the circle of female friends that he orbits around. There is nothing more valuable to learning about female gender than a woman whose guard is down and is speaking freely. It’s a double value if a group of women are talking about men, dating, and relationships and you, as a safe orbiter who has red pill knowledge, can see women in a relative new (and accurate) light.

One of the downsides to being such an orbiter is that it’s very easy to fall back on beta habits. Resist those urges enough and you may find yourself being seen in a whole new way by those women around whom you orbit. You might find yourself in a hot, sweaty bedroom romp with one of them. Bonus!

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