The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “June 6, 2011”

An Ugly Social Expectation And More On Female Projection

This subject has been covered in other blogs but is so important that it needs a constant refrain throughout the Manosphere and hopefully, well beyond.

Badger had an excellent blog post, “It’s OK To Please Your Man” and repeats one of his quotes from a comment he made Athol Kay’s post, “Cooking As Girl Game“. Badger said this:

We live in a very strange world where a wife enjoying taking care of her man is a shameful secret. This “don’t take any shit from a man” philosophy we’ve pumped into women the last 20 years is without a doubt a major factor in ruining countless relationships.

“Don’t take shit from a man” is code for “men are worthless and not worthy of respect”.

This is a horrible, wretched, and culture-destroying social expectation. This is man-hating at its worst. It goes way beyond bigotry and might even be considered a foreshadowing to gender-based genocide. Women who follow this social expectation are dangerous killers of culture and civilization. Any woman who verbalizes this sentiment must be called out with this question: “Why do you want to destroy our society and civilization?”

Pulling back from this dangerous notion is the idea that women project their attraction to a type of man – the strong and independent alpha variety – onto men. Hence, women must be strong and independent. Badger makes another great point:

I would wager that whoever’s been giving this advice has been projecting big-time. Just because women often lose attraction for a guy who admits weakness and bends over backwards to do everything his woman says she wants (regular readers understand this is usually because he replaces his alpha traits with beta ones), it doesn’t mean a man will lose his jones for a woman who is “girly” or “makes it too easy” by giving him good care.

This. 100%

This type projection, bitchiness, entitlement, lack of restraint, and failure to respect men has utterly ruined countless relationships. It’s amazing that relationship advice outside of the Manosphere continues to reinforce horrible attitudes toward men. It’s laughable to see all the hand-wringing by mainstream media pundits when they comment on the terrible state of dating, relationships, and marriage. The answer is in the Manosphere if those pundits we’re so terrified to read and accept it. But is indeed heartening to see how Game as a social meme is spreading nicely.

In one of the many comments to the Badger post, our man detinennui32 came up with a great list of 10 commandments for both men and women.

Commandments for Women:
1. Thou shalt cultivate a feminine demeanor and bearing. Thou shalt not try to be, look like, or act like a man. Thou shalt observe and obey this Commandment above all others.
2. Thou shalt not use profanity or other coarse language in public.
3. Thou shalt let the man decide where you will go and what you will do on the first few dates.
4. Thou shalt not denigrate thy man in public. Ever.
5. Thou shalt not denigrate or otherwise break bad on thy man to his parents, thy parents, thy coworkers or thy BFFs. Ever.
6. Thou shalt do some things your man likes to do, such as make his favorite foods, do your hair the way he likes, or wear some clothes he likes.
7. Thou shalt not let thyself go. Thou shalt give reasonable care and attention to cultivate a pleasing personal appearance.
8. Thou shalt not try to lead or overrule thy man.
9. Thou shalt let thy man reciprocate thy kindness.
10. Thou shalt not act like a princess.

Commandments for Men:
1. Thou shalt devise and implement a life plan, consisting of career path, interests, hobbies and desires; and thou shalt work on and revise said plan as appropriate. Thou shalt observe and obey this Commandment above all others.
2. Thou shalt learn to be observant of the people and situations around thee. Thou shalt cultivate a thorough understanding of thine own nature and that of the female gender. Said understanding shalt be premised upon established concepts of evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology and game; not upon political correctness, feminism, or artificial social constructs.
3. Thou shalt approach and pursue what thy will, within the bounds of legal, moral, and reasonable social constraints. Thou shalt not apologize for approaching an attractive woman.
4. Thou shalt not be a pussy. Thou shalt walk away and forget it when there is no attraction, she is not interested, or it’s not working. Thou shalt suck it up and move on. Thou shalt not view female rejection as an assessment of thy self-worth.
5. Thou shalt not force intimacy without first establishing attraction.
6. Thou shalt not derive thy self-worth from a woman’s opinion of thee.
7. Thou shalt not place her on a pedestal. Ever.
8. Thou shalt demonstrate leadership and decisiveness in thy plan and relationships. Thou shalt make and keep dates with thy woman, and thou shalt decide where thee will go and what thee will do on said dates.
9. Thou shalt learn to tell thy woman “no” when necessary.
10. Thou shalt not seek, accept, or implement dating or male-female advice from thy female relatives or friends.

These two lists should be copied and pasted as a comment to any of those terrified pundits when a story or article on relationships is published on the web. I can see the dames over at going nicely apeshit.

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