The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “June 2, 2011”

50,000 Blog Views – Congratulate Me, Dammit

I started this blog back in mid-February of this year so it’s been on the Manosphere for over three months now.

As of today, I have had 50,000 views. I suspect that this amount of traffic is exceedingly modest in the general scheme of the blogging portion of the ‘Net. Yet this is a milestone for me and more readership than I had thought possible for a single author blog. I am sure the multi-author blogs like The Spearhead and In Mala Fide get far more monthly views.

This blog is also more personal than the Manosphere writers who cover bigger social issues. I have resisted delving into such socio-political subjects because I would much rather help men with dating and relationships than railing against [insert your most hated socio-political issue here]. There are some superb blogs that cover such things with amazingly thoughtful writing and nicely distilled bile and vitriol.

To stick with my goal of helping guys with dating and relationships, I am going to try something interesting – online dating profile help for guys over 35 years old. I simply don’t relate well enough to the younger generation to be of any use in that area. Sorry, whiteboykrispy.

I’m going to be sticking a PayPal button in the right-hand column. If you want help with your online profile, throw me a few bucks and send me a follow-up email (emailtheprivateman at gmail) with your original profile. We’ll do a some back and forth via email and then you’ll get a profile makeover for you to copy and paste.

Of course, if you’d like to throw me a few bucks because you find my blog entertaining, I won’t throw the money back. The Private Man needs beer money so he can swill suds while writing pithy and entertaining prose.

Of course, I must heap great praise on the commenters who have added wisdom and keen observations with their comments on my posts. Frankly, I see the comments as the real hallmark of blog success. Most every comment has been thoughtful and intelligent. I am flattered indeed.

Lastly, I am proud to be part of the general Manosphere where some outstanding blogs reside. My blogroll has many of these and each time one of my posts is cross-referenced in a quality blog (Dalrock, for example), I’m quite thrilled. It’s like being published in print. Print, remember that?

In looking at the daily response rates and the referring websites, it’s clear that I get most referrals from the big Manosphere socio-political blogs such as Hawiian Libertarian and In Mala Fide. This is likely because those readers are also interested in elements of Game and how men deal with women, dating, and relationships within the broader context of Manosphere socio-political ideas.

I also get some referrals from more relationship (or Game) oriented blogs such as Dalrock, Athol Kay, and most recently, Haley’s Halo. This is also good stuff and encourages general discourse on subjects that are important to me.

The vast majority of my blog’s views are unattributed to inbound links. This tells me that readers are actively looking for new posts. Once again, flattering. One reader in particular raised my eyebrows quite a lot. Extraordinarily perceptive and intelligent she is… resourceful, too.

It’s difficult to post every day yet it’s rewarding to have high volume traffic days when I do post. As I can muster maybe four posts a week (on average), I am reasonably content to receive about 3000 views weekly.

Blogging on!

One Online Dating Profile – Two Cities

A new colleague at work has provided a rare opportunity to look at the differences between two cities in regards to online dating profile response rates.

Justin has recently relocated from Tampa, Florida to Miami, Florida. Along with his possessions, he also brought his Plenty of Fish online dating profile. Justin is 29, average height and weight, and works a decent white collar job.

He used Plenty of Fish back in Tampa and is using the same online dating profile in Miami. Here is the text portion of the profile:

centerbound – The Bottom Dweller: I am the most humble person I know.


Guitar    Percussion
Reading    Quantum Mechanics
Song Writing
Sexually harassing chicks at work
flogging the dolphin on ChatRoulette

About Me

I’m Justin. I do what I want, when I want to. I can only describe myself as the manna from heaven itself. As looks go, I am so aesthetically pleasing even hardcore lesbians wink at me occasionally. I only put “average” for body type on my profile because the selection for “Greek god chiseled out of f***ing bronze” seems to be missing from the drop-down. If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this…”Young talented stud looking for a married woman who wants to make her husband jealous in order to procure expensive gifts from him.” It’s probably a very good thing I am not a fish. I read recently on the LiveScience website that fish with large sexual organs can’t swim as fast, so they’re more likely to get eaten by predators. I’m really just on this site because all the attractive women I meet bore me. I like to tickle girls until they cry just so I can hold and comfort them while they sob in my arms. So anyway, basically I am looking for a shy, insecure, socially anxious chick who will defer to me on just about everything.
I am quite new to Miami, and though I am adjusting well, I find the culture of flagrant materialism here quite disgusting, and frankly jaw-dropingly disturbing.

He has seven very decent photos that mostly highlight his face. While he’s no George Clooney, he’s also not  repulsive. I would say that he is above average in his overall appearance. After talking to him, I found him to be pleasant and friendly with a good sense of humor. As a bonus, he also knows Game.

His profile text is quite clever and comes across as cocky and funny, a challenging prospect indeed. Of course, why he included the bit about flogging the dolphin and sexually harassing chicks is beyond me. Maybe it’s an age thing. I’ll ask him about that. I can certainly understand why he put in the update about the incredible materialism here in South Florida.

While living in Tampa, Justin claimed an amazing 40% favorable response rate to his outgoing Plenty of Fish messages. I have no reason not to believe him. His response rate here in South Florida is less than 10%, a rate that mostly matches my response rate to outgoing messages. There can be any number of reasons for this huge response rate difference. There are fewer young people (under 34) in Tampa. It is a more polite city (mid-western ethos) and it’s certainly less materialistic.

A further analysis would be an interesting exercise and I’ll leave that to the commenters who know more about such things. The point is that geographical/cultural differences lead to differences in the approach to online dating. I have always recommended that a man do his research before posting a profile on a particular online dating website. Going beyond that, I also recommended that a man edit is profile regularly to find what works best in his particular locale.

Please note that a man should never look at female profiles to see what women say they want. Women never tell the real truth when stating in words what they are looking for in a man.

“Looking for a nice guy”… snort, chuckle, guffaw.

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