The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “June 1, 2011”

The Power Of Female Projection Addressed By Dating Coaches

I have signed up for several free email newsletters written by dating coaches. These are mostly real dating coaches and not just Game advisors. I’ve signed up both as a man and as a woman. I have seen that dating coaches for men tend to be more Game-like and dating coaches for women are more relationship oriented.

Most of the dating coaches seem to have a female clientele. This is because women need the most de-programming from the constant message of “you go grrl!” and the accompanying lies and mistruths that go along with such propaganda. Men have Game and the Manosphere but as we are the far more rational and logical gender of the species, we don’t need as much hand-holding that the dating coaches offer.

It’s actually rather encouraging to see that underneath all the pretty words that these dating coaches deliver to women there is a strong element of cold, red pill truth. Here’s an example:

It’s often shocking to learn that men aren’t looking for the same qualities in a woman that you look for in a man. Ambitious, successful, strong – the traits in which you may take the most pride – are not your most important assets to most men.

It’s not that they don’t matter at all. But don’t lose sight of the fact that a quality man wants what he can’t get from his guy friends:

Someone who makes him feel good.
Someone who makes him feel secure.
Someone who makes him feel loved.
Someone who makes him feel sexy.
Someone who makes him feel trusted.

It’s great that you’re awesome to your friends, generous to your family, loyal to your employer, and on the board of three different charities.

But if you’re not consistently making your man feel good when he’s around you, he’s going to disappear and find a woman who does.

This is direct quote from Evan Marc Katz.

Remember, this is advice given to women. It’s remarkable but I wonder how many women resist or completely reject such advice because of feminist, ideological grounds (“it’s wrong to make a man feel good”)  or their own sense of fabulousness causes them to stick their heads in the sand.

Regardless, this is definately red pill stuff that anyone in the Manosphere would recognize. I give Evan Marc Katz a lot of credit for his courage to give such advice. He’s squarely addressing the whole projection thing. “If I’m attracted to strong and independent men, they must be attracted to a strong and independent woman like me.”

I covered that whole strong and independent thing already. It’s important to address the projection element that women continue to delude themselves into thinking that a man’s desires in a relationship are the same as hers. It’s part of the masculinization of women and it’s turned dating into a full-contact, blood sport. Game addresses quite a lot of this trend with effective techniques and strategy for a man to present himself in a more attractive light to women.

It looks like that some dating coaches are teaching women a form of “Girl Game” and that “Game” is about being more feminine and more accepting of men in general. If this is indeed the case, I think it’s important to support these kinds of businesses with referrals.

Another dating coach for women over a certain age is Bobbi Palmer. Her language has a lot more of the “you go grrl” attitude but she does give some good, realistic advice for single women. For example:

•  What beliefs or feelings do I have that may be making it harder for me to accept men with kindness?

•  Where did these beliefs originate?

•  Do I have a “type” that I find myself attracted to yet they never seem to work out?

•  Are the men I’m choosing turning out to be losers or disappointments?

•  Do I rely on chemistry and make judgments about a man’s viability soon after meeting him?

•  Am I giving the nice guys a chance?

•    Is my vision of my ideal man a true and realistic representation of who and what I need in my life today?

Bobbi is much more diplomatic, of course, and I don’t think she’s quite taken the red pill. Hell, she quotes that infamous Manosphere nemesis, Oprah Winfrey. I strongly suspect that Bobbi is a lot more direct with her clients in person than her rather politically correct blog postings would indicate.

Us Manosphere guys tend to be ruthless with our words should we be put in the position of giving advice. Imagine being a dating coach and attempting to address two generations of girl power while trying to get new clients. Not an easy prospect, I would imagine. I also wonder if too many dating coaches simply don’t understand the power of biology and resort to the same old advice based on current (failed) social expectations.

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