The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Regarding Women – The Most Important Word In A Man’s Vocabulary


Two generations of beta men have been trained to never say “no” to a woman. Women know this and when they are dealing with a weak, supplicating, doormat of a man they know perfectly well that the man simply can’t say no. Exploitation and manipulation commences with vigor.

Women expect men to acquiesce to even the most outrageous demand. As well, women throw out shit tests constantly and far too many men have no clue how to handle those tests. “No” can be quite effective in this context.

Guys, please learn this word and use it with women. Saying “no” is quite the Alpha move in the right context. It accomplishes the following:

1. Demonstrates higher value. You’re communicating clearly and unambiguously that your time and energies are more important than hers.

2. Keeps you out of the beta orbiter classification. There’s nothing more wretched and low than being a beta orbiter.

2. In reference to sex, it shows that you have self-control. It also makes a woman’s rationalization hamster try to spin in two directions simultaneously. That’s some quality entertainment, right there.

As for follow-up advice, keep the explanations to a minimum. If you explain too much the reasons you said “no”, it comes across as beta. “I’m busy and simply don’t have the time.” should suffice quite nicely. If the woman in question is an entitlement princess, she’ll likely demand an explanation. Hold your ground. When she calls you an asshole, simply agree and amplify: “Yes, my father was an asshole as was my grandfather. My great-grandfather, he was a simple jerk.”

Cupcake might storm off in a mock hissy fit but she’ll come back when she wants something that she knows you enjoy, like some sexy time.

If the request or shit test is delivered electronically, simply ignore it. Let one of her beta orbiters tend to her silly request. Shit tests are definitely ignored.

“No” is part of the cure for NiceGuys(tm) looking to reform their beta ways.

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16 thoughts on “Regarding Women – The Most Important Word In A Man’s Vocabulary

  1. Good reminder. Doc Love emphasizes saying “no” as well. Neil Strauss and Doc Love say that you have to make it clear that you are willing to walk out at any time. As Doc Love well says, so much for “unconditional love”.

    It also predicts that marriage 2.0 is a complete failure for men because you cannot walk out.

  2. “As Doc Love well says, so much for “unconditional love”.”

    This is one of the great fallacies of the modern romance industry. Unconditional love is what parents (should) feel for their children, pets and infirm/batty elderly parents. Christians are called to unconditional love for mankind as a whole (acknowledging our intrinsic propensity to sin) and for the less fortunate, those who give us the opportunity to exercise our charity.

    That is all very different than a romantic relationship. “Unconditional love” is not in any marriage vows I’ve ever heard of. The marriage contract is just that – a contract, in which both sides agree to love and honor one another through the trials of life. Neither one of you is entitled to “unconditional love” in the event you decide to stop fulfilling the terms of the contract.

    Want unconditional love? Get a puppy you can bond to in its youth and it will be your pal all its life. Otherwise grow up and accept that in love and marriage yes, love is ultimately conditional.

    • Monica on said:

      “….Want unconditional love? Get a puppy you can bond to in its youth and it will be your pal all its life. Otherwise grow up and accept that in love and marriage yes, love is ultimately conditional.”

      This is true but no one could have convinced me of it when I was first engaged & married years ago.

  3. Rebekah on said:

    What about the woman who is ok with hearing “no”? If I made a request (non-demanding) and my husband told me no, I very rarely got my nose bent out of joint. I just went and handled it myself. It go to the point where I knew what to ask him for and what not to ask him for.

    When it came to sex, if he told me no I just rolled over and handled things myself. Whatever, no big deal. No attitude, no grudge. He could lay there and listen or change his mind and join in. Made no difference to me.

    You are making it sound like all women get in a huff at the sound of the word “no”, and that is just not the case. Some of us hear it and handle it just fine.

  4. Acksiom on said:

    Rebekah, sweetie, you really shouldn’t try to just give away control over your own feelings to random strangers on the internet like that. You should rely on your immediate circle of family and friends for that sort of thing instead.

    • Rebekah on said:

      First of all you can curb your condescending tone, second of all I wasn’t giving anything to anyone. God, you people need to lighten up around here. If PM doesn’t want to answer a simple question, no skin off my nose. Sarcasm must be lost of you guys.

      • Sarcasm is extremely unfeminine and is not a respected way to approach men from women, especially in the manosphere. It reveals that you are an uncreative and weak woman, not being able to come up with a clever, sweet, and lively rejoinder. To women like this we say: shut the f*ck up.

      • Acksiom on said:

        That’s not a condescending tone; you’re just choosing to be hypersensitive.

        And of course you were trying to get us to fix your emotional upset from your choice to take an accurate generalization personally. Because if you weren’t, then what exactly *were* you trying to accomplish through your comments? Spin, rationalization hamster, spin!

        By your behavior, you’re obviously not here to contribute or even learn; you’re just here for the attention you’re not getting in your offline life from your family and friends. But vanity posting here just for a cheap substitute for that real thing isn’t going to solve the problem. Again, you should go to your close family and friends for that, not a bunch of strangers on the internet

        You really should take my advice. You didn’t, and you just got even more upset and annoyed and irritated. See how that works? That’s why you’re supposed to go to the people closest to you if you want someone to cater to your spoiled brat’s pwethiouth pwinthethth pwiviwedge entitlement attitude.

  5. Totally agree, privateman.

    Sometimes, it gives me a rush to say no just because I know what’s coming next if it was something big-

  6. Another aspect to “no”: every man should cultivate (and when necessary, deploy) his own anti-slut defense. Some tactical resistance can absolutely blow a woman’s mind.

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  9. Richard on said:

    With anything in life, if anyone asks you to do something you really do not want to do, don’t do it just to please them, say “No thanks” and move on.

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