The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “May 18, 2011”

Three Of Four Have Flaked… An Online Shit Test?

Since my last online dating update from a few days ago, the usual flaking has resulted.

Only one woman (out of four) has been escalated to a phone call and the possibility of a date. The others simply stopped corresponding. I see this as a fundamental lack of interest. There could be other reasons for online flaking which I discussed here.

Predictably, the woman who reached out to me (and whom I have found attractive enough to respond) are not flaking and are working up the escalation to a real date.

Naturally, I’m still sending out messages. Online dating is a numbers game.

I have been mulling over another reason for online flaking. It could be a shit test to determine my persistence. I certainly realize that these women are likely corresponding with other guys. I accept this as the basic ground rules in the world of online dating. So perhaps these women are consciously or subconsciously testing my resolve to keep pursuing them. If so, it’s a helluva shit test because the only way to pass (from a man’s point of view) the test is to simply stop the correspondence and move on.

To send follow-up, reminder messages is quite the beta move unless it’s a message filled with supremely alpha text that doesn’t come across as snarky. I need to think about this and test a message or two. Input is appreciated.

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