The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Feeding The Rationalization Hamster

When I send a message to a woman on Plenty of Fish or Match, I always include the following postscript:

P.S – Should I not be your preference, I certainly understand. Never settle. No matter how long it takes, you will find that special fellow who makes your heart sing with joy. He’s just around the corner, maybe the very next profile or message you read. I wish you patience and good luck!

Yeah, I know I’m being a bit snide with that paragraph, but I figure that if she won’t respond favorably to me, I would give her hamster enough food so that she won’t respond favorably to anyone.

I’m a jerk, sue me. 😉

To any other online daters in the Manosphere, feel free to use that post script.

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18 thoughts on “Feeding The Rationalization Hamster

  1. NMH on said:

    That’s pretty funny. Are you causing the hamster to run even faster on the treadmill, or just giving them a stronger sense of their entitlement, hopefully pushing them into the dateless void filled with Schrodinger’s cats?

    • It’s strictly a hamster thing. Remember that a fast-moving hamster is a manifestation of entitlement. In certain circles (Yvette to the white courtesy phone), I will be excoriated for this approach and the usual shaming language will be brought to bear.

  2. Try… “I don’t kiss and tell.”

  3. Hughman on said:

    I like Athol’s comment. Quick and to the point. Yours PM is too tryhard for a first message. Only use it if a convo has started then she says ‘thanks but no thanks’ or just vanishes

    • It’s a valid observation. The difficulty is that the vast majority of messages simply go unanswered and Plenty of Fish charges money for the right to see if a message has been read. Before PoF started charging, I saw many of my messages were indeed read but then deleted. A fair few were also deleted without even being read.

      I do know how to write a good message – short, personalized, and with a call to action.

      I do realize that I’m giving them an easy out from responding and this could very well affect the response rate.

      • Hughman on said:

        I paid for the right to see if my messages are read. Most are just left as ‘Read’, a few are deleted, even split between being opened and not.

        I guess if you know you’re getting deleted, then fuck their hamsters up. But my observation is that it will totally kill your reply rate.

      • I will test out your theory.

  4. I think you’re already showing an expectation of being declined with your one. You’re disqualifying yourself.

    You should disqualify them a little.

  5. Krauser PUA ran some very interesting POF Game a while ago. He actually trolled women in the subject line of his first message.

    One woman dyed her hair a funny colour so the subject line of his first message said “Your hair scares my dog”.

    Let’s say a woman puts herself down as “slim” when she is really just average build. Put “I wouldn’t say that you are slim” as the subject heading.

    Your chances of getting a reply just went up by at least one order of magnitude.

    • Krauser’s a younger man, no? I wonder if age factors into the subject line heading. A troll type subject line might work for a 20-something princess. Would it work on a 30 or 40-something adult woman?

      Based on Athol’s comment, I was thinking of a somewhat more edgy subject line or a question within the message… something like, “What are the top five reasons why you are good relationship material?” or a shorter variation for the subject line.

      • Yes, Krauser goes for the 18-25 female demographic, although I think he’s alot older than that himself.

        If trolling or teasing is too much, just make sure that you stand out from all the regular chumps with your both your subject heading and the text.

        If you want to get really scientific about it, find a random picture of a moderately attractive woman from your target age range and create a fake profile based around that picture in your local area.

        Wait for “her” inbox to fill up with dozens of messages with headings like “hi”, “hello”, “nice profile”, “wanna talk?”, etc.

        A large proportion of generic messages on POF will never get opened.

  6. I like the idea of trolling as a first message. Just signed up for a dating site yesterday since the weather was shitty and I had nothing going on. I’ll do a little trolling later today and report back on the success/reply rate.

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