The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

A Young Man With No Game

Sam was sitting at the bar two seats down. He’s young (mid-20s), rather good looking in a shaved head, stubbly face, vaguely Mediterranean look about him. I’ve seen him around before but he’s not quite a regular at my favorite spot in the village.

To my right – with an empty stool in between – are two rather attractive, 40-something blond women. I’m in a good position start a set with them and I’m feeling outgoing and social. The village is perfect for socializing, even on a slow Monday night. Unfortunately, my friend Taciturn Tom plonks himself in the empty seat and effectively blocks me from opening a set with the two women. Taciturn Tom is a very tall and big guy who speaks few words and drinks many beers. He’s actually a gentle and decent fellow and I enjoy his quiet company. I talk, he listens.

My attention is diverted to my left where Sam is having a very animated discussion with the barmaid. In fact, Sam is looking rather angry. He’s just angry enough to be annoying and probably a risky proposition to engage him in discussion.

Taciturn Tom and I share a few words about the local scene and we both studiously ignore Sam’s angry words. Sam departs and I look at the barmaid. She rolls her eyes just a bit and smiles knowingly.

Sam returns. As the barmaid is busy with something, Sam engages me in conversation because I am the closest victim.

“Listen to this…” he starts. As well as private, I am also polite so I turn to face the seriously annoyed Sam.

“I was just having dinner in the sushi bar with this girl I know and who I just picked up at the airport.” Sam gets a bit calmer as he now has another ear to bend.

“She told me she was into size, like penis size, and she asked me how long mine was.” Helluva question from a girl, I thought.

“I told her that it was a classless question and that she had no class for asking it. Then she got up and left!”

I’m a little at a loss of what to say at this point. Sure, the question lacked class but Sam’s response was ridiculous. He wasted an opportunity for a witty and  brilliant retort. Her question was  probably a shit test.

Sam rants on a bit more and in the process I learned quite a few things.

Sam has spent lots of money on dinners and drinks for this girl, one dinner costing over $600. This guy is young and  probably not making a lot of money. He also just picked her up at the airport and bought yet another dinner with more drinks. And now the girl is across the street at another bar, sitting at an outside table. Sam was quite adamant about pointing that out. “Now she’s sitting with another guy!”

“You need to learn Game.” I told him flatly. “Agree and amplify. You could have told her that were two feet long or gone in another direction and said you were hung like a pimple.”

“I don’t care about that stuff, it shouldn’t have to be that way!” Sam was frustrated. Perhaps his mother told him to “be nice” and “be yourself” as dating advice.

I find it very depressing when a young man is still awash in the advice left over from Dating 1.0. We now live in the realm of Game and Dating 2.0, where social status determines  a man’s attractiveness and dating has little to do with getting to know someone. This is a sad state of affairs but it’s the reality of the current dating situation.

I didn’t push the point about Game. Sam might take the red pill, he might not. Regardless, he’s a chump for spending time and money on that girl. When I see him again I will mention Game again.

Sam eventually left and then apparently confronted the girl across the street. The barmaid said she saw him doing just that. I don’t know what he said but I’ll no doubt hear about the gossip later because it’s a small village.

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16 thoughts on “A Young Man With No Game

  1. modernguy on said:

    Game is not a solution, its just a stop gap when girls start acting like filthy whores, as they do nowadays. “PUAs” and sluts don’t sustain a healthy society.

  2. So what other retorts would you have used? Or negs?

  3. Hughman on said:

    $600 bucks for one meal, and he didn’t get the lay???

    Jesus, I haven’t spent that much on all my girls combined, and that includes petrol/train fare to travel to them

    She obviously wanted to escalate. Prime juicy steak.

    I’ve concluded something else about the girls I’ve banged or got lined up. I’ve discussed sex with them within 1 hour of conversation, openly within 2, with me within 3. Doesn’t matter on the context, how jokey it is. To follow a maxim of Roissy: if a girl talks about sex, she is happy to have sex with you with your current sexual standing

  4. Sam should remember the inimitable words of Aerosmith: “Now stop that teasing, and whip out that big ten inch!”


    Anyway, I knew of a woman that was obsessed with penis size. She purposely dated only men from the communist block because she felt that they had huge gongs. The thing was, she was pretty hot in the day (about 15-20 yrs ago, she was a high 8) and she was a predator in the bar for the most alpha man there.

    Her notch count, I calculated, at least, was 3/month * 12 month/year * 5 years = 180 different men. And that is probably a minimum.

    I think its a reasonable guess if that she is fixated about penis size she is probably a slut.

    I feel for Sam. At his age, I was the anti-game. Its was a wonder I managed to get a long term gf at all, finally at the age of 28.

  5. $600 US?

    Ouch! I wouldn’t spend more than 600 Zimbabwe Dollars on dinner.

    I didn’t learn about Game till last year, but I was never that much of a chump.

  6. Single Man on said:

    If she talks about size, she’s too much a VD risk. Just run.

    A girl with 100 notches has got herpes for sure.

    • Phoenix on said:

      Indeed. I once met a fat chick who told me her sotry about the abusive boyfriend she broke up with, and they never did it. Yet she fooled around with a married guy. And how she likes her hair pulled, and likes to choke on cocks.

      Girls gotta uphold their reputation and prove they’re not sluts to us. The moment they do, it’s of best interest to stop interacting all together.

  7. Mister Lettuce on said:


    Game or no Game, who the fuck spends $600 bucks on any dinner?

    Shit, even pre-Game, I never spent that much on a date.

    If that guys willing to spend that much on a date, he has even more to learn than I do. 🙂

    Hey Private, any word on the place they went to for said 600 dollar meal? Are we talking ultra-fancy, or just 600 McCheese burgers?

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  9. Holy shit. I was beta through and through over some girls, but never EVER put out that much for a single event. And I wasn’t even beta enough to screw it all up with some idiot white knighting. When the cock sings, you sing along.

  10. Maybe the girl was simply a cunt and not worth the bullshit. I do agree that he spent to much on the girl but “Game” is simply a round about way of putting pussy on a pedestal. If there were no guys doing “game” and kissing women’s asses then they would be forced to changed and stop the bullshit. The US is one of the only countries in the world that I have been to where “Game” is necessary to pickup a slut. “Game” is simply the result of a failed society. But to be open minded please tell me how game can benefit anyone.

    • I actually stopped calling it Game months ago because those canned routines peddled by the PUA gurus make me wince. I get several marketing emails daily and they all are about a quick fix for guys with the “watch [buy] this video and get laid tonight!” kind of shit. And you’re right, there is a strong element pedestalizing going on. You’re also correct that if men stopped it, women would have to change their approach. Yet the biological imperative of women being the gatekeepers of sex and men desiring sex allows women to make too many of the rules. But I like to see men get what they want in life whether it’s to get laid, to find a good relationship, or to just be better able to socialize with everyone.

      The best element of Game (“Charisma” in my nomenclature) is the confidence and social skills that men can gain. Yet there’s quite an irony at work. When a man works on his confidence solely to impress women, he will fail with women, potentially creating the Sodini effect. I’ve got a couple of posts about the confidence sub-routine that is necessary before a man can be successful socially. Frankly, that’s the majority of the benefit of Charisma. Such confidence cannot be acquired through a bootcamp or a serious of videos or a system yet the PUA gurus insist on peddling systems, books, and videos.

      I’m familiar with and much of the hate is valid because many of those guys did plunk down good money only to find themselves ripped off. I am keenly aware of the dearth of social skills and the extraordinary difficulty of learning and practicing social skills that too many young men have. I have deep empathy for any man who lacks in that area. Social skills, like confidence, can’t be taught quickly and easily. There is no system for that. There is only effort, failure, learning, and practice. That’s why I recommend the website

      Society has indeed failed in regards to dating and relationships. Too many men haven’t figured that out and adjusted accordingly.

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